Politeness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문법과 시제에 대한 오류를 줄이고, 주제를 명확히 드러내는 토픽 문장을 사용하세요. 예를 들어 현재완료와 과거 표현을 구분하고, 동일한 내용을 반복하지 마세요. 또한 구체적 행동(예: 인사하기, 예절 교육)을 하나나 두 가지로 좁혀서 설명하면 내용이 더 선명해집니다.

例: I learned most of my manners from my mother. She was a strict teacher and taught me specific habits, such as always greeting elders politely and saying “please” and “thank you.” I still follow those lessons today.

提案: 의미가 불분명한 표현(예: "important news on whiteness")은 피하고, 이유를 명확하게 제시하세요. 간결한 토픽 문장으로 시작하고, 이어서 이유와 구체적 예시를 한두 문장으로 덧붙이세요. 연결어(for example, because, therefore)를 사용하면 논리성이 좋아집니다.

例: Yes, I think politeness is very important because it creates a good first impression. For example, greeting older people respectfully shows you have good manners and helps build trust.

提案: 문장 구조를 간단히 하고, 상황을 명확하게 구분하세요(예: 일상적 상황 vs 공식적 상황). 또한 연결어(However, In contrast, For instance)를 사용해 비교를 분명히 하고, 구체적 예시를 하나 제시하세요.

例: Politeness matters most in formal situations. For instance, during a company meeting or when meeting someone important, using polite language and respectful gestures is essential. In casual settings with friends it is less strict.

提案: 의도를 분명히 밝히고, 구체적인 행동을 정확한 영어 표현으로 설명하세요(예: bow, greet, use polite forms). 불필요한 문장(예: 'feel free to eat')을 제거하고, 과거 시제로 통일하세요. 연결어를 써서 행동의 결과나 이유를 짧게 덧붙이세요.

例: As a child, I learned to bow and greet people politely. I would always say hello to elders and use formal language out of respect, which made adults respond kindly to me.

× I've learned a lot from my mom since my mom is tough teacher and very strict about the politeness.

✓ I've learned a lot from my mom since my mom is a tough teacher and very strict about politeness.

Article 'a' is needed before the countable singular noun 'tough teacher'. Also, 'the politeness' is unnatural; use 'politeness' without an article. Suggestion: add 'a' before professions and omit 'the' when speaking about concepts in general.

× So I've learned from her a lot of things and I still learning from her.

✓ So I've learned a lot from her and I am still learning from her.

The verb 'learning' requires an auxiliary to form the present continuous: 'am learning'. Missing 'am' creates a sentence without proper verb form. Suggestion: use 'I am still learning' or 'I still learn' depending on emphasis.

× Yes, just as like my mom, I really put many important news on whiteness because it's the first impression to meet person, especially the older, older people and. Oh, OK.

✓ Yes, like my mom, I really place much importance on appearance because it is the first impression when meeting people, especially older people.

Multiple issues: 'just as like' is redundant — use 'like' or 'just as'. 'Put many important news on whiteness' is incorrect word choice; idiom is 'place importance on appearance'. 'Whiteness' is wrong here. 'First impression to meet person' should be 'first impression when meeting people'. Remove duplicate 'older'. Suggestion: use natural collocations such as 'place importance on appearance' and correct structure for 'first impression when meeting people'.

× In casual situation politeness is not that important but officials thinks like have meeting in the company or miss someone who is very important to you to socialize then the courtesy means a lot.

✓ In casual situations politeness is not that important, but in official situations, such as having meetings in the company or meeting someone who is very important to you socially, courtesy means a lot.

Prepositions and plurality: 'In casual situation' should be 'in casual situations'. 'Officials thinks like have meeting' is incorrect; use 'in official situations' and 'such as having meetings'. 'Miss someone' should be 'meeting someone'. 'To socialize' misplaced; use 'socially' or 'for socializing'. Suggestion: ensure correct prepositions ('in', 'such as') and correct noun forms ('situations', 'meetings').

× Like to control things many people learned as a child.

✓ Many people learn to control themselves as children.

Original sentence lacks a clear subject-verb structure and uses incorrect infinitive placement. Use subject 'Many people' + verb 'learn' and reflexive 'themselves' for controlling one's behavior. Also plural 'children' matches 'many people'. Suggestion: reorder sentence to Subject + Verb + Object.

× To greet others very lightly is very important in Korea.

✓ Greeting others politely is very important in Korea.

'To greet others very lightly' is awkward and 'lightly' implies not seriously; use 'politely' which better matches intended meaning. Use gerund 'Greeting' for general statements. Suggestion: prefer 'Greeting others politely' or 'It is important to greet others politely'.

× So I do a lot of greetings and say hello to others and feel free to eat.

✓ So I greet people a lot, say hello to others, and make them feel comfortable eating.

'Do a lot of greetings' is awkward; use 'greet people a lot'. 'Feel free to eat' lacks subject — unclear who should feel free. Clarified as 'make them feel comfortable eating'. Suggestion: use clear subjects and natural verbs like 'greet' and 'make comfortable'.