Politeness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Keep answers clear and direct: start with a simple topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid unclear words (e.g. “blindness”, “solom”) and long run-on sentences. Focus on relevant details: who taught you, what they taught, and one brief example. Pronunciation and grammar need attention (use correct tense and relative clauses).

例: I learned politeness mainly from my parents. For example, they taught me to say “please” and “thank you” and to listen respectfully when others speak. In addition, my school reinforced good manners through classroom rules and role-play activities.

提案: Give a concise opinion sentence first, then support it with one clear reason and a short example. Avoid filler words and unclear phrases (e.g., “Yeshua”, “so kindness pray between people”). Use linking words like “because” or “therefore” to make your point coherent. Work on grammar: use correct word order and articles.

例: Yes, I think politeness is very important because it helps people build trust and feel comfortable. For example, when I greet colleagues politely at work, conversations are friendlier and cooperation improves.

提案: Answer directly and give a short list of key occasions with linking words (e.g., “especially”, “for example”). Be specific about why those occasions matter. Avoid repeating similar phrases and improve sentence clarity and grammar (e.g., “older people” → “elders” or “older people”).

例: We should be polite on most occasions, especially at home and in public. For example, it is important to be polite to parents and elders when they speak to you, and also to customers or teachers in formal situations.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence describing one or two polite behaviors you used. Use linking words (e.g., “for instance”, “also”) and give a specific example rather than vague phrases. Avoid suggesting passivity or unhealthy behavior (e.g., always staying silent when shouted at); instead describe positive actions like saying “sorry” or helping others. Correct grammar and sentence structure are needed.

例: As a child, I showed politeness by smiling and saying “sorry” if I made a mistake. For instance, if a teacher raised their voice, I would listen quietly and apologize if I had done something wrong, and then try to help or correct my behavior.

× From my parents whom I've been grateful for they're so nice and they teach me many things as manners but the second thing goes to school they teach us somehow about blindness and manners and solom.

✓ From my parents, whom I have been grateful to; they're so nice and they taught me many things about manners. The second place was school: they taught us about good manners and social behavior.

Problems: incorrect pronoun usage ('whom I've been grateful for' should be 'grateful to'), run-on sentence, incorrect verb tense (use past tense 'taught' when describing childhood), unclear noun 'solom' likely meant 'social' or 'social behavior'. Suggestion: split into two sentences, use 'grateful to', use past tense for past actions, and replace unclear word with 'social behavior' to make meaning clear.

× Yeshua it is an important thing it's even for yourself you should be like to people so you can be comfortable with yourself at first and then to people, you should be polite, so kindness pray between people yeah.

✓ Yes, it is an important thing. It is even for yourself; you should be kind to people so you can be comfortable with yourself first and then with others. You should be polite so kindness spreads between people.

Problems: informal filler 'Yeshua' misused, awkward phrasing 'you should be like to people' should be 'kind to people' (adjective + preposition), tense consistency and sentence fragmentation. Suggestion: use clear subject-verb structures, replace 'like' with 'kind', and rephrase 'kindness pray' to 'kindness spreads' for correct verb usage and meaning.

× Usually at all occasions, but the most is with your parents when they talk to you and you respond, how should it be? Usually with your older people when you're talking to.

✓ Usually on all occasions, but especially with your parents when they talk to you and you respond. Also with older people when you are speaking to them.

Problems: preposition 'at' should be 'on' for 'occasions' (or 'in' depending on style), awkward 'the most is with' -> 'especially with', missing object 'them' after 'speaking to'. Suggestion: use 'especially' for emphasis, use 'on occasions' and include objects with prepositions ('speaking to them').

× I used to show my smile always when teacher like shouts on me I shut my mouth, also my parents and yeah.

✓ I used to always smile. When a teacher shouted at me, I would keep quiet. My parents also taught me to behave that way.

Problems: inconsistent tense and aspect: 'like shouts' is incorrect colloquialism; use past tense 'shouted'. 'I shut my mouth' is informal; 'keep quiet' or 'remain silent' is better. Sentence fragments and unclear 'also my parents and yeah'. Suggestion: separate ideas into clear sentences, use past simple or 'would' for habitual past actions, and state the role of parents clearly.