Politeness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct minor grammar errors; start with a clear topic sentence, then give one brief specific example. Use linking words if adding detail. Avoid repetition.

例: I learned politeness mainly from my parents. For example, they always reminded me to say “please” and “thank you,” and they taught me to speak respectfully to elders, which helped me fit in with our cultural expectations.

提案: Correct grammatical mistakes and use clearer vocabulary. Begin with a direct opinion sentence, then add one or two specific reasons linked with words like “because” or “for example.” Avoid vague phrases.

例: Yes, I think politeness is very important because it shows respect for others and helps daily interactions run smoothly. For example, using polite language can prevent misunderstandings and make people more willing to cooperate.

提案: Use clearer structure and vocabulary. Start with a topic sentence naming occasions, then give two specific examples linked by connectors like “for instance” or “also.” Replace incorrect words (e.g., “thrilling” → “willing”).

例: We should be polite in many situations, especially when speaking to others and when asking for help. For instance, being courteous to colleagues shows respect, and using polite language when requesting assistance makes others more willing to help.

提案: Fix major vocabulary and grammar errors and be specific. Start with a clear topic sentence about actions you took, then give one or two concrete examples. Use correct words (e.g., “as a child,” “express politeness,” “ask for help”).

例: As a child, I showed politeness by using polite phrases and behaving respectfully. For example, I always said “please” and “thank you,” and I would bow slightly or use formal titles when speaking to elders.

× Being polite in one of the most important personal qualities because it shows respect for other and have smooth everyday social interaction.

✓ Being polite is one of the most important personal qualities because it shows respect for others and helps create smooth everyday social interactions.

Errors: missing verb 'is' after subject phrase (present tense copula), 'one' requires 'is'; 'other' should be plural 'others'; 'have' should agree with singular subject 'it' or use 'helps create' to express effect; 'interaction' should be plural to match 'everyday' generality. Suggestion: include the appropriate linking verb, make nouns agree in number, and use a verb phrase that matches the subject and meaning.

× For example, polite behavior makes conversation more flesh and can prevent misunderstandings.

✓ For example, polite behavior makes conversations more fluent and can prevent misunderstandings.

Errors: 'conversation' should be plural 'conversations' to refer generally; 'more flesh' is incorrect collocation—likely intended 'more fluent' or 'smoother'. Suggestion: choose correct adjective collocations ('fluent' or 'smoother') and match count with general nouns.

× Well, that'll be a couple of things.

✓ Well, there will be a couple of things.

Error: contraction 'that'll' is acceptable in speech but here it creates awkwardness; more serious is missing 'there' structure clarity. Suggestion: Use 'there will be' to introduce a list clearly.

× One of which is when we speak to other people, we should be polite to show respect.

✓ One occasion is when we speak to other people; we should be polite to show respect.

Error: 'One of which is when...' is a fragmented relative structure that misuses pronoun/reference. Suggestion: Rephrase to 'One occasion is...' or 'One of them is when...' to make the reference clear.

× Also, we need to be polite when asking for help because it makes others more thrilling to access us.

✓ Also, we need to be polite when asking for help because it makes others more willing to help us.

Errors: 'thrilling' is incorrect word choice; 'access us' is wrong collocation. Suggestion: use 'more willing' and 'help us' or 'assist us' to convey intended meaning.

× Well, when I was a trial, my parents taught me about the way to express politics, rude action and language boldness.

✓ Well, when I was a child, my parents taught me how to express politeness and avoid rude actions and language.

Errors: 'trial' is wrong word for 'child'; 'politics' should be 'politeness'; word order and noun choice are incorrect ('language boldness' is not idiomatic). Suggestion: use 'when I was a child', 'how to express politeness', and 'avoid rude actions and language'.

× For example, when we speak to other people, we need to say please and thank you.

✓ For example, when we speak to other people, we need to say 'please' and 'thank you'.

Issue: sentence grammatically correct but quotation marks are illustrative; in content keep phrase markers. Suggestion: keep as is but mark phrases for clarity. Note: no tense or agreement error here.

× Also, when we require the help, we need to thank you.

✓ Also, when we need help, we should say thank you.

Errors: 'require the help' is awkward and unidiomatic; 'we need to thank you' incorrectly addresses 'you'—should be general 'say thank you' or 'thank someone'. Suggestion: use 'need help' and 'say thank you' or 'thank someone'.