Politeness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: حاول تكون إجابتك أكثر تنظيماً ودقة. ابدأ بجملة موضوعية قصيرة تشرح المصدر الرئيسي لتعلمك، ثم أضف تفاصيل واضحة ومحددة كمثال عملي. تجنب التكرار وتحسين القواعد (زمن الفعل وترتيب الكلمات).

例: I learned to be polite mainly by watching my parents and older brothers. For example, my father always greeted neighbors and helped them, and my mother taught me to say “please” and “thank you.” Over time, I copied their behavior and practiced it at home and school.

提案: اعمل على صياغة رأيك بجملة موضوعية واحدة واضحة ثم ادعمها بسبب محدد. صحح الأخطاء النحوية واستخدم مفردات مناسبة للسياق بدلاً من تعابير عامة مثل "human race" دون توضيح. اجعل الجمل أقصر وأكثر وضوحاً.

例: Absolutely. Being polite is important because it helps build respect and peaceful relationships between people. For instance, polite behavior at work or school reduces conflicts and makes cooperation easier.

提案: استخدم جملة افتتاحية مباشرة ثم أذكر أمثلة محددة ومبررة. تجنب الكلام المكرر مثل "very very" واستخدم روابط منطقية لربط الأفكار. ركز على تنوع الأمثلة (أسرة، عمل، مناسبات عامة).

例: We should be polite at all times, but especially in certain situations. For example, when you are with your parents, in religious places like church, or in formal settings such as job interviews, politeness shows respect and consideration.

提案: قدم إجابة مباشرة ثم اذكر أمثلة محددة لأفعالك مع تفاصيل صغيرة (ماذا قلت أو فعلت بالضبط). تجنب العموميات واهتم بتصحيح قواعد اللغة (حروف الجر وحالة الفاعل).

例: As a child, I showed politeness by simple actions. For example, I always offered my seat to older people on the bus, greeted guests politely, and helped my parents with small chores to show respect.

× I learned this by watching my parents and my big brothers how they treat people and about their deeds and how my father and mother had raised me. So this is the reasons

✓ I learned this by watching my parents and my older brothers, seeing how they treat people and their good deeds, and from how my parents raised me. So these are the reasons.

The original is a run-on sentence with incorrect clause order and mixed tenses. Use parallel structure ('watching... seeing... and from') and consistent tense (simple past: learned, watched, raised). Change 'big brothers' to 'older brothers' and 'this is the reasons' to 'these are the reasons' (number agreement). Suggestion: break long ideas into clear parts and keep verbs in the same tense.

× Absolutely, I agree with this. The human race have to to get the good morals and they have to be polite with each other to make the life good and peace.

✓ Absolutely, I agree with this. The human race has to acquire good morals, and people must be polite to each other to create a good and peaceful life.

'Human race' is a singular collective noun and requires 'has' not 'have'. Remove duplicated 'to'. Use 'acquire' or 'learn' instead of 'get' for morals. 'They' is vague; use 'people' or rephrase. 'Make the life good and peace' is ungrammatical; use 'create a good and peaceful life.' Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement and use accurate collocations.

× At all times you have to be polite but there are a few occasions that you have to focus to be very very polite like when you sit with your parents or when you go to church, there is you have to be very polite.

✓ You should be polite at all times, but in some situations you should be especially polite, for example when you sit with your parents or when you go to church.

Original has awkward word order and redundancy ('you have to focus to be very very polite', 'there is you have to be very polite'). Use 'you should be especially polite' for emphasis and give clear examples. Avoid repeating phrases and keep sentence concise.

× there are a lot of deeds that I did when I was a child to show the people around me that I'm polite like when I sit with older people and when I sit with my parents and there are many other occasions

✓ There were many actions I took as a child to show the people around me that I was polite, such as sitting respectfully with older people and with my parents, among other occasions.

Sentence needs consistent past tense ('did' -> 'took', 'I'm' -> 'I was', 'sit' -> 'sitting' or 'sat'). Begin with a capital letter. Use 'actions' or 'deeds' and parallel gerunds or clauses for clarity. Suggestion: keep tense consistent and use parallel structure when listing examples.