Politeness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct verb forms and articles (e.g., "were the ones who taught me", "how to be polite"). Avoid repetition.

例: I learned to be polite mostly from my parents, who always treated others with respect. In addition, my school reinforced good manners through lessons and the example set by teachers, so I practiced polite phrases and behavior daily.

提案: Use one clear topic sentence and then give a reason and a brief example. Use linking words (because, so, therefore) and avoid repeating phrases. Fix tense and phrasing (e.g., "if we are polite, others will respond positively").

例: Yes, I think being polite is very important because it helps build positive relationships. For example, when I speak respectfully to new colleagues, they usually respond kindly and cooperate more easily.

提案: Give a clear direct answer then one specific supporting idea. Use linking words (however, for example) and correct phrasing (e.g., "everyday habit" instead of "day to day habit"). Avoid vague claims like "chances of success become very higher"—be specific.

例: We should be polite in everyday situations, not just on special occasions. For example, being courteous to coworkers and neighbors can improve teamwork and make daily interactions smoother.

提案: Answer directly with one topic sentence about actions you took, then add a specific example. Correct repetition and grammar ("I mainly talked"; "I often gave them food I had prepared"). Keep it concise.

例: As a child, I showed politeness by speaking respectfully to my friends and sharing food with them. For instance, I often brought snacks to our club meetings and offered them to others before myself.

× Honestly speaking my teachers my parents are the one who teach me how to be apply polite because my parents are polite to everyone and another way that I learned to be polite is my curriculum in my school time my teachers and high school staff taught me how to be polite

✓ Honestly speaking, my teachers and my parents are the ones who taught me how to be polite because my parents are polite to everyone; another way I learned to be polite was through my school curriculum and the behavior of my teachers and high school staff.

Multiple pronoun and agreement errors: 'my teachers my parents' needs a conjunction 'and'; 'are the one' should agree in number -> 'are the ones'; 'teach' should be past tense to match 'learned' -> 'taught'; 'apply polite' is incorrect collocation -> 'be polite'; run-on sentences need punctuation and reordering for clarity. Suggestion: join coordinated nouns with 'and', ensure plural/singular agreement, use past tense consistently, and use natural collocations like 'be polite'.

× In my opinion, being polite is very important for our personal growth and to communicate and interact with new people if we became polite to other people, then they will take then they will become very happy and treat us in the same way.

✓ In my opinion, being polite is very important for our personal growth and for communicating and interacting with new people. If we are polite to other people, they will be happy and treat us in the same way.

Tense and sequence problems: 'if we became polite' uses past tense incorrectly for a general conditional; use present simple in conditional clauses for general truths -> 'if we are polite'. Also 'to communicate and interact' is better as gerund phrase 'for communicating and interacting'. Repetition 'then they will take then they will become' is redundant. Suggestion: use present simple for general conditions, avoid repetition, and keep parallel structures.

× I think in every occasion we should be polite politeness is not a thing to be practiced on occasion it is it should be a day to day habit for instance, if we enforce the behavior of polite in our day to day life, then our chances of success become very higher.

✓ I think on every occasion we should be polite. Politeness is not something to be practiced only on special occasions; it should be a day-to-day habit. For instance, if we practice polite behavior in our daily life, our chances of success increase significantly.

Article and word choice errors: 'in every occasion' is better as 'on every occasion'; 'a thing' is vague—use 'something'; 'on occasion' vs 'only on special occasions' clarity needed; 'the behavior of polite' is incorrect word order and article use -> 'polite behavior'; 'day to day' should be hyphenated as adjective or 'daily'; 'become very higher' is ungrammatical -> 'increase significantly' or 'become much higher'. Suggestion: use correct articles, choose precise nouns, and use idiomatic phrases like 'on every occasion' and 'daily life'.

× In my childhood I mainly I mainly talk with my friends with politeness and I often give them some foods that I prepare for my club.

✓ In my childhood I mainly talked with my friends politely, and I often gave them some food that I had prepared for my club.

Tense and verb form errors: 'In my childhood' requires past tense -> 'talk' should be 'talked'; repetition 'I mainly I mainly' is redundant; 'with politeness' is awkward -> use adverb 'politely'; 'give them some foods' is incorrect pluralization and countability -> 'some food' or 'some snacks'; 'that I prepare' should be past perfect or past ('that I had prepared' or 'that I prepared') to show preparation before giving. Suggestion: use past tense for childhood actions, prefer adverbs for manner, and use correct countable/uncountable nouns.