Politeness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and grammatical mistakes (learnt/learned consistency, article usage). Add a brief example to make it more concrete.

例: I learned to be polite mainly at school. For example, we were taught to greet teachers every morning and to reply calmly and respectfully when asked a question, which helped me develop good manners. As a result, polite behaviour became a habit.

提案: Give a direct opinion first, then provide two clear reasons linked with connectors. Avoid repetition and informal phrases, and fix grammar (workplace, examiner expects). Provide a brief example or consequence to support your view.

例: Yes, I believe being polite is very important. Firstly, politeness helps maintain good relationships at work because colleagues cooperate better. Secondly, it creates a positive learning environment; for instance, students who are respectful to teachers often receive more guidance and encouragement.

× When I was a kid I learnt proper attitude in school because in this school I learned how to greet teachers on a daily basis and how to answer the teacher with a nice attitude.

✓ When I was a kid, I learned a proper attitude at school because there I learned how to greet teachers on a daily basis and how to address a teacher with a polite attitude.

The original sentence mixes British 'learnt' and American 'learned' and has preposition and article problems. Use a consistent past tense form (learned) and correct prepositions/articles: 'at school' is the usual collocation, 'a proper attitude' needs the article 'a', and 'address a teacher' is more natural than 'answer the teacher'. Also add a comma after the introductory clause for clarity.

× So school is the right place to learn a proper attitude.

✓ So school is the right place to learn a proper attitude.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable; no definite article is required before 'school' when speaking generally. Keep as is. (No change needed.)

× Oh, I think proper attitude is extremely important it's extremely important in both working place and learning place.

✓ Oh, I think a proper attitude is extremely important; it's important both in the workplace and in learning environments.

Run-on sentence and missing articles/preposition collocations. Add 'a' before 'proper attitude'. Separate clauses with appropriate punctuation. Use 'the workplace' or 'workplace' as a collocation and 'learning environments' for natural phrasing. This keeps present-tense general statement consistent.

× Just like here an examiner expect their candidates to be nice to him, so I would say yes this is extremely important.

✓ Just like here, an examiner expects their candidates to be polite to them, so I would say yes, this is extremely important.

Subject-verb agreement error: singular subject 'an examiner' requires 'expects' (third person singular). Also pronoun agreement: 'their' can be used as singular gender-neutral, but 'him' mismatches; use 'them' or rephrase to 'expects candidates to be polite'. Add commas for clarity.