Politeness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and clear with a topic sentence, correct grammar, and give a specific example with linking words. Keep to 2–4 concise sentences. Avoid unclear phrases (e.g. “treat peaceful nicely”) and correct word choices (e.g. “greetings teacher”).

例: I learned to be polite mainly at school because teachers taught us manners. For example, every morning our teacher encouraged us to greet classmates and use polite phrases like “please” and “thank you,” which helped me form good habits. As a result, I became more comfortable interacting respectfully with others.

提案: Start with a clear yes/no or topic sentence, then give two specific reasons linked logically. Fix grammar (e.g. “workplace” not “working place”, “treat others kindly”) and avoid repetition. Use linking words such as “because” or “for example.”

例: Yes, being polite is very important because it helps build good relationships at work and at school. For example, greeting colleagues and treating others kindly makes cooperation easier and improves communication, so people are more willing to help you.

× I think school is the right place to learn proper attitudes.

✓ I think school is the right place to learn proper manners.

The original sentence is grammatically acceptable but 'proper attitudes' is awkward collocation. 'Manners' or 'proper behavior' is the natural choice. Suggest using correct collocations to sound natural. Grammar problem type ID:26

× So I think when I was a child I learned how to treat peaceful nicely just like a greetings teacher every morning is a great example.

✓ When I was a child, I learned how to treat people politely; for example, a teacher who greeted us every morning was a great example.

This sentence contains multiple structure and word-choice problems: 'treat peaceful nicely' is ungrammatical and likely intended to be 'treat people politely'; 'just like a greetings teacher every morning is a great example' is a run-on and unclear. Reorder clauses, add commas and a semicolon, and use 'people' and 'politely' for correct meaning. Grammar problem type ID:26

× It is extremely important because even though in working place or learning place, just like greeting and treats other people nicely, it's a great way to improve our personal skills and social skills.

✓ It is extremely important because, whether in the workplace or at school, greeting and treating other people nicely is a great way to improve our personal and social skills.

Multiple issues: 'working place' and 'learning place' are nonstandard; use 'workplace' and 'school' or 'at work'/'at school'. 'just like greeting and treats other people nicely' has incorrect verb forms and structure. Use the gerund phrase 'greeting and treating other people nicely' as the subject; ensure verbs agree. Also combine 'personal skills and social skills' concisely. Grammar problem type ID:22