Politeness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 总体表达清晰，但存在重复、语法和用词不准确的问题。建议： 1) 避免重复：不要多次使用“for example”，可用不同连接词并删去冗余句。举例只需一次并具体说明情景。 2) 语法与时态：将“will read”改为过去式“would read”或“read”，把“elder person”改为“elderly people/elders”。 3) 句子长度控制：合并信息，保持不超过5句，首句直接回答问题，其后用一两句举例补充。 4) 词汇准确性：用“stories and fairy tales”替换“books that told a story and fairy tales”，用“taught us manners/how to behave”替换模糊表述。 练习方法：在回答前先用一两秒构思主句+1个具体例子，注意用连接词（e.g., for instance, also）。

例: I learned politeness mainly from my parents. For instance, they would read stories and fairy tales that taught manners, such as saying “please” and “thank you” and showing respect to elders. This helped me practice polite phrases at home and understand why they are important.

提案: 回答包含观点但表达冗长且有语法和搭配错误。建议： 1) 开门见山：第一句直接给出观点并简短理由，例如“Yes, it is very important because...”。 2) 修正搭配与语法：将“in our day life”改为“in daily life”或“everyday life”；“shows your respect to each other to other people”应改为“shows respect to others”；“as a Chinese”改为“in Chinese culture”或“for Chinese people”；用“kindness”代替“kindly”作名词。 3) 增加具体细节：用一两个具体例子说明为什么重要（如改善人际关系、工作场合的影响）。 4) 逻辑连接词：使用“because”, “for example”, “therefore”使论述更连贯。 练习方法：写出一条主题句+一条支持句（理由）+一条举例句，控制在3句内。

例: Yes, I think politeness is very important because it shows respect and helps maintain good relationships. For example, in Chinese culture, people often show respect to elders by greeting them politely, which creates harmony in the family. Therefore, polite behavior can improve communication at work and in daily life.

× I remember that I learned to be polite as a child directly from my parents.

✓ I remember that I learned to be polite as a child from my parents.

问题类型：可以归为26（句子结构错误）和22（冠词/用词冗余）。句子中“directly”位置不自然且多余，且“from my parents”已足够表示来源。建议去掉“directly”，使表达更简洁自然："I learned to be polite as a child from my parents."

× For example, my parents will read some books that told a story and fairy tales about how to teach us how to be polite.

✓ For example, my parents read some books and fairy tales that told stories about how to teach us to be polite.

问题类型：5（过去时问题）和26（句子结构）以及22（冠词/复数形式）。学生在讲过去习惯时应使用一般过去时“read”（发音同/ˈrɛd/），不能用将来时“will read”。“books that told a story and fairy tales”结构混乱，应改为“books and fairy tales that told stories”。另外“how to teach us how to be polite”重复“how”，应改为“about how to teach us to be polite”。建议使用一般过去时并修正名词复数与不必要重复。

× For example, it taught us how to speak to the elder person.

✓ For example, it taught us how to speak to elderly people.

问题类型：11（介词/介词短语使用不当）和1（单复数问题）及13（形容词使用错误）。“the elder person”不是自然表达，应使用“elderly people”或“older people”。并且不需要“to”前置错误：原句的结构本身是可以，但习惯用法为“speak to elderly people”。建议用复数并选择正确形容词“elderly/older”。

× Yes, I think being polite is very important in our day life because it shows your respect and to each other to other people and it is our traditional virtues as a Chinese, for example, to respect elders and to be polite and kindly for the other person.

✓ Yes, I think being polite is very important in our daily life because it shows respect to other people and is one of our traditional Chinese virtues, for example, respecting elders and being kind to others.

问题类型：12（代词使用不当）、11（介词使用不当）、22（冠词/短语错误）、13（形容词/副词使用错误）和26（句子结构）。原句存在大量冗余和错误："in our day life" 应为 "in our daily life"；"it shows your respect and to each other to other people" 结构混乱，应为 "it shows respect to other people" 或 "it shows that you respect others"；"it is our traditional virtues as a Chinese" 主谓和单复数错误，应为 "it is one of our traditional Chinese virtues" 或 "it is a traditional Chinese virtue"；"to be polite and kindly for the other person" 用词错误，应改为 "being kind to others"。建议简化句子，按逻辑分段表达，使用固定搭配如 "show respect to sb."、"be kind to others"、"traditional Chinese virtues"。