Politeness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장 구조와 어휘 선택에 집중하세요. 답변이 자연스럽고 명확하려면 주제문으로 직접 답한 뒤 구체적이고 관련 있는 세부사항을 연결어로 이어야 합니다. 예를 들어 ‘I learned to be polite from my parents’로 시작한 뒤 그 이유(규칙, 본보기)와 구체적 상황(예: 등산 중 쓰레기를 남기지 않기)을 명확히 설명하세요. 또한 단어 선택에서 ‘partly mentally’, ‘lubish’ 같은 오용을 피하고 ‘partly’, ‘politely’, ‘litter’ 등을 사용해 의미를 정확히 전달하세요. 문장은 최대 4~5문장으로 유지하고 문장 간 연결을 위해 ‘for example’, ‘because’, ‘so’ 같은 연결어를 사용하세요.

例: I learned to be polite mainly from my parents. For example, when we climbed Nemo Mountain in Canada they told me not to shout and not to leave any litter behind because we should respect nature. From that experience I understood that politeness includes consideration for other people and the environment. So I try to behave calmly and clean up after myself when I go outdoors.

提案: 의미 전달을 위한 정확한 어휘와 문장 표현을 개선하세요. 현재 문장에는 ‘poorly’, ‘luby’ 같은 부적절한 단어 사용으로 의미가 불분명합니다. 질문에 대해 직접적인 주제문(예: ‘Yes, I think politeness is very important.’)으로 시작하고, 이유를 두세 개의 구체적인 근거(관계 유지, 갈등 해결, 사회적 인상 등)로 뒷받침하며 연결어(‘because’, ‘for example’, ‘also’)를 사용하세요. 문장은 간결하게 유지하고 불필요한 반복을 피하세요.

例: Yes, I think politeness is very important because it helps people build and maintain good relationships. For example, polite behaviour prevents unnecessary arguments and makes communication smoother. Also, being polite creates a positive impression, so others are more willing to cooperate with you.

× I learnt to be partly mentally from many parents.

✓ I learned to be polite mostly from my parents.

The original sentence uses incorrect word choice and word order. 'Learnt' (British) is acceptable but 'partly mentally' is incorrect; likely intended 'polite'. Also 'from many parents' is odd; use 'my parents'. Suggestion: use 'learned' or 'learnt', place adjective 'polite' after 'be', and correct modifier 'mostly'. Example: 'I learned to be polite mostly from my parents.'

× When I was young, we visited Nemo Mountain in Canada and my parents told me not to shout or leave any lubish behind I climbed the mountain and saw flowers trees and raccoons.

✓ When I was young, we visited Nemo Mountain in Canada, and my parents told me not to shout or leave any rubbish behind. I climbed the mountain and saw flowers, trees, and raccoons.

This run-on sentence lacks proper punctuation and contains a misspelling 'lubish' for 'rubbish'. It also needs commas in the list 'flowers, trees, and raccoons.' Fix by splitting into two sentences, correcting spelling, adding a comma before 'and' joining independent clauses, and adding commas in the list. Suggestion: end clauses properly and use commas to separate list items.

× So politeness means respecting nature too.

✓ So, politeness also means respecting nature.

The original is understandable but word order is slightly awkward. Moving 'also' before 'means' or after the subject improves naturalness. Add a comma after 'So' when used as a discourse marker.

× Yes, very poorly people build better relationship because nobody wants to be around someone luby.

✓ Yes, polite people build better relationships because nobody wants to be around someone rude.

The original uses incorrect words 'very poorly' and 'luby' which are not appropriate. 'Poorly' is an adverb; need adjective 'polite'. Also 'build better relationship' needs plural 'relationships'. 'Luby' likely meant 'rude' or 'uncivil'. Suggest using 'polite' and 'rude', and pluralize 'relationship' to 'relationships'. Keep present tense: 'polite people build better relationships.'

× It also keeps arguments clean, I think.

✓ It also keeps arguments civil, I think.

'Keeps arguments clean' is unusual; 'civil' or 'polite' is more natural to describe argument tone. This is a word choice/style issue and improves clarity. Maintain the comma before 'I think' as a tag comment.