Politeness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid repetition and filler. Also use correct grammar (e.g., plural forms and articles) and a slightly wider range of vocabulary (e.g., ‘show respect’ instead of repeating ‘be rude’).

例: My parents taught me to be polite from a young age. For example, they always reminded me to show respect to elderly people by using polite language and offering help when needed, so I learned to treat others kindly.

提案: Answer directly and avoid hesitation sounds. Give one clear reason and a short example or consequence, linked by words like ‘because’ or ‘so’. Fix grammar (e.g., ‘disrespectful’ used incorrectly) and prefer precise vocabulary (e.g., ‘considerate’ or ‘respectful’).

例: Yes, I think being polite is very important because it helps maintain good relationships and reduces conflict. For instance, when people speak respectfully at work, teamwork improves and misunderstandings decrease.

× For example, don't be rude to elderly and be kind to little children and just don't be rude.

✓ For example, don't be rude to the elderly; be kind to young children, and don't be rude.

The phrase 'elderly' needs the definite article 'the' when referring to older people as a group (article error/pronoun reference). Also 'little children' is more naturally 'young children'. The original repeats 'don't be rude' redundantly; the corrected sentence combines ideas clearly and uses a semicolon and commas for better structure. Use consistent noun phrases when referring to groups of people.

× Nowadays being polite is very important and uh, a lot of uh, adults are rude to other people in disrespectful, so I think uh, they should umm, start to be polite and just be kind.

✓ Nowadays being polite is very important, and many adults are rude to other people and disrespectful, so I think they should start to be polite and be kind.

The phrase 'a lot of adults' is acceptable but 'many adults' is more formal. 'Are rude to other people in disrespectful' is incorrect: 'disrespectful' is an adjective and should be parallel to 'rude', so use 'and disrespectful'. Remove filler words (uh, umm) to make speech clear. Also fix punctuation by adding a comma before the coordinating conjunction and streamlining the final clause. This corrects adjective/adverb misuse and improves sentence structure.