Politeness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Organize your answer with a clear topic sentence then two brief supporting details. Use correct grammar (e.g., 'teachers' guidance' -> 'my teachers' guidance'; 'by correct me gently' -> 'by correcting me gently'). Avoid fillers like 'you know' and aim for more specific examples (e.g., phrases they taught you or situations). Keep it within 3–4 sentences and add linking words such as 'for example' or 'also'.

例: I learned to be polite mostly from my parents and my teachers. For example, my parents taught me to say 'please' and 'thank you' and to greet adults with 'Good morning'. Also, my teachers corrected me gently when I interrupted others, which helped me learn to wait my turn.

提案: Start with a direct opinion sentence, then give two specific reasons using linking words. Improve grammar and phrasing (e.g., 'It helps people get on well' not 'has people get on well'). Remove fillers and make one clear example of where politeness matters (work, family, etc.). Limit to 2–3 sentences for clarity.

例: Yes, I believe being polite is very important because it helps people get along and fosters mutual respect. For example, politeness at work improves teamwork and in personal relationships it prevents unnecessary conflicts.

× Well I would say when I was a child I learned to be polite mainly from my parents and teachers guidance.

✓ Well, I would say when I was a child I learned to be polite mainly from my parents' and teachers' guidance.

The original sentence omits the possessive form for parents and teachers. When indicating that guidance belongs to 'parents' and 'teachers', use the possessive apostrophe: 'parents'' and 'teachers''. Also add a comma after 'Well' for natural speech rhythm. Suggestion: Use possessive form for people who provide something (e.g., parents' guidance, teachers' guidance).

× They taught me simple ways, for example how to greet adults respectfully in a really, you know, good manner and by correct me gently.

✓ They taught me simple ways, for example how to greet adults respectfully and how to correct me gently.

The phrase 'in a really, you know, good manner' is awkward and informal; 'respectfully' already conveys manner. More importantly, 'by correct me gently' is ungrammatical: after 'by' should be a gerund (correcting) or rephrase to 'how to correct me gently' or 'and correct me gently'. I combined the ideas into parallel structures: 'how to greet...' and 'how to correct me...'. Suggestion: Use parallel verb patterns ('how to X and how to Y') and use gerunds after 'by' (e.g., 'by correcting me gently') or rephrase without 'by'.

× Well, I would say definitely because being polite is crucial in society. It has people get on well and promotes mutual respect, which is definitely important for work or like you know, relationships.

✓ Well, I would definitely say that being polite is crucial in society. It helps people get on well and promotes mutual respect, which is important for work and relationships.

Several issues: 'I would say definitely' is better as 'I would definitely say that' for natural word order. 'It has people get on well' is ungrammatical; use 'it helps people get on well' or 'it enables people to get on well'. 'which is definitely important for work or like you know, relationships' is wordy and informal; remove filler 'like you know' and duplicate 'definitely'. Also use 'and' instead of 'or' to link 'work and relationships'. Suggestion: Use 'helps' for the idea of causing or facilitating, avoid filler phrases, and ensure clauses are complete (include 'that' after 'say' when followed by a clause).