Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 先直接回答是否做过纸艺，再补充具体作品及原因。注意说“origami cranes”（纸鹤），不是“origami creams”；“this kind of crafts”应改为“this kind of craft”，并用“make”或“fold”搭配作品。结尾的“happy and joyful”意思重复，可精简。

例: Yes, I have. I enjoy folding origami cranes because they are often associated with good luck and good wishes. Making them also helps me relax.

提案: 回答已经提到童年活动和后来兴趣的变化，结构清楚，但要修正搭配和时态：“draw on paper”比“draw in the paper”自然；“write diaries”不需要大写；“became to do”应改为“started folding”。最后的“to bring my best”意思不清，可明确表达送祝福或带来好运。

例: As a child, I liked drawing on paper, especially flowers, and I sometimes wrote in a diary. When I got older, I started folding paper and making origami cranes, which I thought could bring good luck.

提案: 先简洁回答“不常写”，再说明现在主要通过什么方式联系，以及实体信件的缺点。注意“am a customized”应为“am used to”；“writing physical letters”可改为“writing letters by hand”；主谓一致应为“it takes”或“they cost”。尽量避免重复表达“花时间和花钱”。

例: No, I rarely do. I’m used to keeping in touch with people through messaging apps like WeChat, which is much faster. Sending a physical letter takes more time and costs money.

提案: 观点明确，也给出了情感方面的理由；但回答后半段有重复和未完成的表达。可补充一个具体原因，例如手写信有纪念意义，人们会留作回忆。注意“email letters”不自然，可说“emails”；“decorate the letters”若想表达亲手装饰，可说“decorate the page”。

例: Yes, I think many people still keep handwritten letters. They can feel more personal than emails, and people may save them as special keepsakes. Some people also decorate the pages, which makes each letter unique.

提案: 回答直接，并提供了生动的猫咪例子。建议把过长的句子拆开，并将“go outside”换成更自然的“go out”；例子中用“a cat sitting...”避免“like a cat is sitting”的结构问题。因为记录的是一件事，可用“it”而不是“them”，并具体说明会写下来还是画下来。

例: Yes, I do. I like noting down interesting things I see, so I usually carry a small notebook and a pen. For example, if I see a cat sitting calmly on a chair, I might sketch it or write down a few details.

× Of course, I love paper folding, and usually I will use paper to make some origami creams, because I think this kind of crafts can give people best wishes and bring them good luck.

✓ Of course, I love paper folding, and usually I will use paper to make some origami creams, because I think this kind of craft can give people best wishes and bring them good luck.

“this kind of”后面通常接单数名词，因此应将“crafts”改为“craft”。可以记住结构“this kind of + 单数名词”；如果要用复数，则说“these kinds of crafts”。

× When I was a kid, I always loved to draw in the paper, for example, painting some flowers or uh, writing some Diaries on the paper.

✓ When I was a kid, I always loved to draw on paper, for example, painting some flowers or uh, writing some Diaries on the paper.

表示在纸张表面画画时，通常用介词“on”，而不是“in”。可以记住搭配“draw/write on paper”。

× But uh, when I was a bit older, I became to do paper folding, like making, uh, origami creams to bring my best.

✓ But uh, when I was a bit older, I started doing paper folding, like making, uh, origami creams to bring my best.

“become to do”不是正确的英语结构。表达“开始做某事”可以用“start doing”或“start to do”。建议熟记常见动词搭配，并避免把“become”和“start”的结构混用。

× No, I don't because nowadays I am a customized to communicating with people on the Internet through some instant apps like WeChat or Facebook and the writing physical letters uh cost a lot of time and it need money for me to send to.

✓ No, I don't because nowadays I am accustomed to communicating with people on the Internet through some instant apps like WeChat or Facebook, and writing physical letters uh costs a lot of time and it needs money for me to send to.

这里要表达“习惯于”，应使用形容词“accustomed”，搭配为“be accustomed to”；“customized”表示“定制的”，意思不符。“accustomed to”中的“to”是介词，后接动词时要用动名词，如“communicating”。

× No, I don't because nowadays I am a customized to communicating with people on the Internet through some instant apps like WeChat or Facebook and the writing physical letters uh cost a lot of time and it need money for me to send to.

✓ No, I don't because nowadays I am accustomed to communicating with people on the Internet through some instant apps like WeChat or Facebook, and writing physical letters uh costs a lot of time and it needs money for me to send to.

泛指“写实体信”这一活动时，动名词短语“writing physical letters”前通常不加定冠词“the”。建议泛指活动时直接使用动名词短语作主语，例如“Reading takes time”。

× No, I don't because nowadays I am a customized to communicating with people on the Internet through some instant apps like WeChat or Facebook and the writing physical letters uh cost a lot of time and it need money for me to send to.

✓ No, I don't because nowadays I am accustomed to communicating with people on the Internet through some instant apps like WeChat or Facebook, and writing physical letters uh costs a lot of time and it needs money for me to send to.

一般现在时中，“writing physical letters”是单数动名词短语作主语，因此谓语要用“costs”；“it”是第三人称单数，谓语应为“needs”。建议检查一般现在时主语是否为第三人称单数，并在动词后加“-s”或“-es”。

× No, I don't because nowadays I am a customized to communicating with people on the Internet through some instant apps like WeChat or Facebook and the writing physical letters uh cost a lot of time and it need money for me to send to.

✓ No, I don't because nowadays I am accustomed to communicating with people on the Internet through some instant apps like WeChat or Facebook, and writing physical letters uh costs a lot of time and it needs money for me to send them.

“send to”后缺少表示所寄物品的宾语。前文提到的是实体信，因此可以用宾格代词“them”指代。使用代词时，要确保它指代清楚，并且在句中承担完整的语法功能。

× Of course, yes. Uh, because handwritten letters to some extent can better express people's emotions and their own feelings.

✓ Of course, yes. Uh, handwritten letters can, to some extent, better express people's emotions and their own feelings.

以“because”开头的内容在这里是原因从句，单独使用会成为句子片段，因为没有主句。可以去掉“because”，让“handwritten letters”直接作主语，形成完整句子。

× That is, that can't be, uh, replaced by the, uh, e-mail letters and, uh, doing handwritten letters can decorate the letters and, uh.

✓ That is, that can't be, uh, replaced by, uh, e-mail letters and, uh, doing handwritten letters can decorate the letters and, uh.

这里泛指电子邮件，不是特指双方都知道的某些邮件，因此不需要定冠词“the”。建议泛指一类事物时不要随意添加“the”。

× Yes, I love to record the interesting things around me, so I usually bring some paper and pens with me when I go outside and if I find something amazing like a cat is sitting on a chair with a relaxed facial expression, I will record them.

✓ Yes, I love to record the interesting things around me, so I usually bring some paper and pens with me when I go outside, and if I find something amazing, like a cat sitting on a chair with a relaxed facial expression, I will record them.

“like a cat is sitting...”在这里接在“something amazing”之后，结构不顺。用“like + 名词 + 现在分词”举例更自然，即“like a cat sitting...”。建议举例时注意前后结构衔接，避免把不完整的举例成分与完整从句直接拼接。

× Yes, I love to record the interesting things around me, so I usually bring some paper and pens with me when I go outside and if I find something amazing like a cat is sitting on a chair with a relaxed facial expression, I will record them.

✓ Yes, I love to record the interesting things around me, so I usually bring some paper and pens with me when I go outside and if I find something amazing like a cat is sitting on a chair with a relaxed facial expression, I will record it.

“a cat”是单数，后面的代词应使用单数“it”，而不是复数“them”。建议确认代词所指的名词，并保持单复数一致。