Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答中有相关内容，但时态、冠词和句子结构错误较多，例如“will used to be”应改为“used to be”，“a artist”应改为“an art student”，“I draw”应根据时间改为“I drew”。此外，回答没有清晰说明是否制作过纸艺品，内容也在“画画”和“制作手工”之间跳跃。建议先直接回答，再补充一个具体例子，控制在2—3句内。

例: Yes, I have made a few paper crafts. When I was in high school, I drew pictures of apples and made simple decorations for my art class. I also made paper animals when I was a child.

提案: 回答基本切题，也给出了原因，但主要问题是时态和不自然表达。“I like”应改为过去时“I liked”，“handmades”不自然，可说“handicrafts”或“paper crafts”；“play with a paper”应改为“work with paper”。建议使用“because”和“so”清楚连接原因，并补充一个具体的纸艺活动。

例: As a child, I liked drawing pictures and making simple paper crafts. I often made paper animals or folded paper boats because I didn’t have a phone or many electronic games. My parents encouraged me to do these activities, so I spent quite a lot of time drawing.

提案: 回答直接表达了观点，但存在明显重复，如“old fashioned way”重复两次，而且最后一句没有完成。应避免同时使用“although”和“but”，并将“know the others from their world”改为更自然的表达，例如“understand someone’s feelings”。建议明确说明写信的对象或场景，并用完整句子结束。

例: Yes, I still write physical letters occasionally, although I usually send messages online. I like them because they feel personal and meaningful, and I can keep them as memories. For example, I once wrote a letter to a close friend on her birthday.

提案: 回答有个人例子，这是优点，但语法和句子组织较混乱。“when I was high school”应改为“when I was in high school”，“I write”应改为“I wrote”，“write the letter paper”应改为“wrote a letter”。最后一句不完整，建议用“because”解释保留信件的原因，并清楚说明信件带来的回忆。

例: Yes, some people still keep handwritten letters, and I’m one of them. When I was in high school, I wrote a letter to a classmate, and I have kept it until now. It is special to me because it reminds me of our friendship and that period of my life.

提案: 回答方向基本相关，但“although”和“but”不能同时使用；“I used to take”表达过去习惯，不适合描述现在的习惯，应改为“I usually carry”。“the pen and the paper”应改为“a pen and some paper”，“if you got something need to read”句子不完整。建议直接说明携带纸笔的用途，例如记笔记、记录待办事项，并完整结束回答。

例: Yes, I usually carry a pen and a small notebook when I go out. I prefer writing things down instead of using my iPad because it is quicker and more convenient in some situations. For example, I use them to make notes or write down important information.

× Yes, I will used to be an artist student when I was in high school.

✓ Yes, I used to be an art student when I was in high school.

“used to”本身表示过去的习惯或状态，前面不能再使用“will”。“will used to”是错误结构，应直接使用“used to”。

× a artist student

✓ an art student

“artist”以元音音素开头时要用“an”，而不是“a”。不过表示学习艺术的人时，更自然的表达是“an art student”。

× I draw some apple.

✓ I drew some apples.

这件事发生在过去，所以“draw”要改为过去式“drew”。同时，“some”后面通常接可数名词复数，因此“apple”应改为“apples”。

× I draw some apple.

✓ I drew some apples.

“some”表示一些，后面应接可数名词复数，所以“apple”应改为“apples”。

× When I was a child, I draw the.

✓ When I was a child, I drew them.

“When I was a child”描述过去的时间，因此“draw”应使用过去式“drew”。“the”不能单独作宾语，这里应使用代词“them”指代前面提到的物品。

× When I was a child, I draw the.

✓ When I was a child, I drew them.

“the”是冠词，不能单独代替名词。这里需要使用宾格代词“them”作“drew”的宾语。

× I like to draw on paper and use paper to make some handmade items as a child.

✓ I liked to draw on paper and use paper to make some handmade items as a child.

句子中的“as a child”表示过去的时间，所以“like”应改为过去式“liked”。

× It’s very interesting to play with a paper because I do not have a phone.

✓ It’s very interesting to play with paper because I did not have a phone.

表示纸这种不可数材料时，通常不使用“a”，所以应说“with paper”。同时，描述童年过去的情况时，“do not have”应改为“did not have”。

× It’s very interesting to play with paper because I do not have a phone.

✓ It’s very interesting to play with paper because I did not have a phone.

“because”后面描述的是童年时期的情况，属于过去，所以“do not have”应改为过去式“did not have”。

× When I was a child, my parents did not want me to fall in love with those games, so I draw very often.

✓ When I was a child, my parents did not want me to fall in love with those games, so I drew very often.

整句话描述童年时期的过去情况，因此“draw”应改为过去式“drew”。

× Yeah, I still write it because I think it’s a very old-fashioned way.

✓ Yeah, I still write them because I think it’s a very old-fashioned way.

“letters”是复数，因此代词应使用复数宾格“them”，而不是单数“it”。

× I think it’s very old-fashioned way.

✓ I think it’s a very old-fashioned way.

“way”是可数名词单数，前面需要冠词。这里应使用“a very old-fashioned way”。

× When you remember that, you’ll be very.

✓ When you remember that, you’ll be very happy.

“you’ll be”后面缺少形容词或其他补语，句子意思没有完成。应补充“happy”等形容词，使句子完整。

× When I was high school, I write the letter paper to my classmate.

✓ When I was in high school, I wrote a letter on paper to my classmate.

表示在高中就读时，应使用“in high school”。“write”描述过去的事情时应改为“wrote”。表达“在纸上写一封信”应使用“a letter on paper”。

× When I was in high school, I write a letter on paper to my classmate.

✓ When I was in high school, I wrote a letter on paper to my classmate.

“When I was in high school”指过去的时间，所以动词“write”要使用过去式“wrote”。

× Also, it’s on the class.

✓ Also, it was in class.

表示“在课堂上”应使用介词“in”，不能使用“on”。由于事情发生在高中时期，系动词“is”也应改为过去式“was”。

× Also, it’s on the class.

✓ Also, it was in class.

句子描述的是过去在高中时发生的事情，因此“is”应改为过去式“was”。

× I think it’s a very personal way to show the meaningful times you keep it is very.

✓ I think keeping it is a very personal way to preserve meaningful memories.

原句中“you keep it is very”把多个结构错误地连接在一起，导致句子结构混乱。可以使用动名词短语“keeping it”作主语，并用“preserve meaningful memories”表达完整意思。

× Yes, of course, although I’m a student at Nottingham High School, but I think it’s very necessary for me.

✓ Yes, of course. Although I’m a student at Nottingham High School, I think it’s very necessary for me.

“although”和“but”不能在同一个让步结构中同时使用。使用“although”时，后面的主句不应再使用“but”。

× I used to take the pen and the paper.

✓ I used to take a pen and paper.

这里是泛指笔和纸，不是指特定的某一支笔或某一张纸，因此不应使用定冠词“the”。“a pen and paper”更符合泛指的表达。

× So I think if you got something need to read or I’ve.

✓ So I think that if I have something I need to read, I bring a pen and paper with me.

原句中“something need to read”和“I’ve”都没有形成完整、正确的句子结构。应使用“something I need to read”，并补充完整的主句和谓语。

× If you got something need to read...

✓ If I have something I need to read...

这里表达的是通常情况下的条件，应使用一般现在时“have”，而不是不完整的“got”。同时，“I need to read”是修饰“something”的定语从句。

× Or I’ve.

✓ I bring them with me.

“I’ve”是“I have”的缩写，但后面没有补充完整的成分，不能独立构成句子。应补充完整的主语和谓语，例如“I bring them with me”。