Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly and use the correct word “crafts,” not “crops.” Also, use the past tense consistently: “I made” and “I turned.” “Ever since I was a child” is more natural than “ever since I was kids.” Avoid unnecessary adjectives such as “luxurious” and “magnificent”; specific craft names are more effective. Use a linking word such as “For example” before giving details.

例: Yes, I made several paper crafts when I was a child. For example, I folded paper cars, military aircraft, and ships. I especially enjoyed making models because it allowed me to be creative.

提案: Use the correct expression “doing origami” rather than “Parks in Origami,” and keep the tense in the past because the question asks about childhood. The phrase “write on paper practicing” needs a clearer structure, such as “write on paper to practise.” Answer with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific activities. “It” or “the paper” is more natural than “them” in this context.

例: As a child, I liked doing origami and writing on paper. I used to practise my English and Mandarin handwriting, and I also enjoyed making simple animals and flowers from paper. These activities helped me become more patient and creative.

提案: The answer is relevant and includes a clear example, but “but however” is redundant, and “for communicational purposes” sounds unnatural; use “to communicate” instead. Since you are describing a current habit, use “practise” consistently and avoid repeating “handwriting.” You could make the answer more natural by explaining why you leave notes for your mother.

例: I don’t write physical letters to communicate anymore because messaging apps are more convenient. However, I still leave handwritten notes for my mother from time to time. It is a personal way to show my affection, and it also gives me a chance to practise my handwriting.

提案: Use a clear subject and correct the grammar in the opening: “Although smartphones are commonplace nowadays.” Avoid switching from “people” to “he,” and do not use “would” when discussing a general present-day habit; use “still keep” or “still write.” The answer should address both keeping letters and writing them. Add a specific reason or example to make the response more developed and coherent.

例: Yes, I think some people still keep handwritten letters, although smartphones are very common nowadays. They may value them because they feel more personal and memorable than digital messages. In addition, some people write letters to practise calligraphy or preserve this traditional art form.

提案: Use “pen,” not “pin,” and avoid repeating “pen” several times. “Lamby pin” is unclear; if you mean the brand “Lamy,” say “a Lamy pen.” The phrase “put my handwriting with my pen” is unnatural; use “write notes” or “jot things down.” Give a direct reason for carrying these items and connect the details with a linking word such as “because.”

例: Yes, I usually carry a small notebook and a pen when I go out. In particular, I have a Lamy pen made in Germany, which writes very smoothly. I use them to jot down ideas, make quick lists, or practise my handwriting when I have free time.

× Yes, I made numerous crops with paper, ever since I was kids, I turned paper into luxurious cars, magnificent military aircraft, as well as ships.

✓ Yes, I made numerous crops with paper ever since I was a kid. I turned paper into luxurious cars, magnificent military aircraft, and ships.

The singular subject I must be followed by the singular noun kid, not the plural noun kids. Use a kid after the singular verb was.

× In addition to Parks in Origami, I also love to write on paper practicing my English and Mandarin handwriting skills on them.

✓ In addition to practicing origami, I also loved writing on paper and practicing my English and Mandarin handwriting skills on it.

Because the question asks about what you liked as a child, use the past tense loved instead of the present tense love. The phrase practicing origami is also the correct gerund structure after in addition to.

× In addition to Parks in Origami, I also love to write on paper practicing my English and Mandarin handwriting skills on them.

✓ In addition to practicing origami, I also loved writing on paper and practicing my English and Mandarin handwriting skills on it.

After the preposition to in in addition to, use a gerund with -ing. Therefore, practicing is correct, not the base form practice.

× In addition to Parks in Origami, I also love to write on paper practicing my English and Mandarin handwriting skills on them.

✓ In addition to practicing origami, I also loved writing on paper and practicing my English and Mandarin handwriting skills on it.

Paper is an uncountable singular noun, so it should be replaced by the singular pronoun it, not the plural pronoun them.

× I don't write physical letters for communicational purposes anymore, but however, I still love to leave handwritten notes to my mother to practice my handwriting.

✓ I don't write physical letters for communication purposes anymore; however, I still love to leave handwritten notes for my mother to practice my handwriting.

But and however both express contrast, so they should not normally be used together in the same clause. Use either but or however. Also, the preposition for is more appropriate before the person receiving the notes.

× Despite the smartphones such a commonplace, nowadays, he would still keep on writing letters for artistic purposes.

✓ Despite smartphones being so commonplace nowadays, people still write letters for artistic purposes.

The phrase despite smartphones such a commonplace is missing the verb being. After despite, use a noun phrase or a gerund phrase such as smartphones being so commonplace.

× Despite the smartphones such a commonplace, nowadays, he would still keep on writing letters for artistic purposes. People would still appreciate calligraphy because it is an important form of traditional art.

✓ Despite smartphones being so commonplace nowadays, people still write letters for artistic purposes. People still appreciate calligraphy because it is an important form of traditional art.

The question asks about people in general, so the pronoun he is inconsistent. Use people or they when referring to people generally.

× Despite the smartphones such a commonplace, nowadays, he would still keep on writing letters for artistic purposes. People would still appreciate calligraphy because it is an important form of traditional art.

✓ Despite smartphones being so commonplace nowadays, people still write letters for artistic purposes. People still appreciate calligraphy because it is an important form of traditional art.

The question refers to a current situation, so use the present tense still write and still appreciate. Would suggests a hypothetical or conditional situation and is not needed here.

× I love to put my handwriting with my pen on the paper.

✓ I love to write with my pen on paper.

The natural preposition for the instrument used to write is with, and the natural expression for the writing surface in a general sense is on paper. The verb write is also appropriate for this meaning.