Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 질문에 직접 답하는 표현이 부족하고, ‘If I have’는 이 문맥에서 부자연스럽습니다. ‘Yes, I did’ 또는 ‘Yes, when I was a child’로 시작하세요. 또한 ‘with paper’보다 ‘out of paper’가 종이로 만든 것을 표현할 때 더 자연스럽습니다.

例: Yes, I did. When I was a child, I used to make various animals out of paper, especially simple ones like birds and rabbits.

提案: 내용과 구성이 좋고 구체적인 예시도 포함되어 있습니다. 다만 과거의 경험을 묻는 질문이므로 ‘I love’보다 ‘I loved’가 적절하며, 종이접기 동물에는 ‘build’보다 ‘make’ 또는 ‘fold’가 더 자연스럽습니다. 첫 문장에서 바로 과거의 선호를 제시하면 더 정확합니다.

例: I loved doing origami with brightly colored paper. I often made bunnies, frogs, and dogs because they were simple to fold and fun to make.

提案: ‘Yes, I do’ 뒤에 이유를 연결할 수 있지만, ‘writing letter’는 ‘writing letters’ 또는 ‘writing a letter’로 고쳐야 합니다. 생일을 언급하는 문장이 반복되고 중간에 문장 구조가 무너졌으므로, ‘Whenever a friend’s birthday is coming up’처럼 간결하게 말하세요. 답변은 현재 습관과 구체적인 상황을 한두 문장으로 정리하는 것이 좋습니다.

例: Yes, I do, although not very often. Whenever a friend’s birthday is coming up, I usually write them a handwritten letter because it feels more personal than sending a text message.

提案: 의견을 직접 제시한 점은 좋지만, ‘there is something special such as anniversary’는 문법적으로 부자연스럽습니다. ‘People keep handwritten letters for special occasions, such as anniversaries and birthdays’처럼 표현하세요. ‘usually they usually’와 ‘and so on’ 같은 반복적이고 불필요한 표현을 줄이고, 손편지를 보관하는 이유를 구체적으로 설명하면 더 효과적입니다.

例: Yes, I think some people still keep handwritten letters. They often save them because they are connected to special occasions, such as birthdays, anniversaries, or important milestones, and they feel more personal than digital messages.

提案: ‘I carry the bond’는 질문의 맥락에 맞지 않고 의미가 불분명합니다. 아마 ‘I carry my phone’이라고 말하려 한 것으로 보입니다. ‘Whenever my daughter and I go out’처럼 주어와 동사를 정확히 사용하고, 종이와 펜 대신 휴대폰을 사용하는 이유를 연결해서 말하세요.

例: No, not really. I usually carry my phone instead because I can quickly write notes on it. Whenever I go out with my daughter, I use my phone rather than carrying a notebook and pens.

× If I have, when I was a child I used to make a lot of animals with paper.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I used to make a lot of animals out of paper.

The phrase 'If I have' does not form a complete or suitable answer to the examiner's question. Begin with 'Yes' and then use a complete clause. 'Out of paper' is the more natural prepositional phrase for describing the material used to make something.

× I love doing origami with brightly colored paper.

✓ I loved doing origami with brightly colored paper.

The question asks about an activity the student liked as a child, so the past tense 'loved' is more appropriate than the present tense 'love'.

× I love writing letter for my friends.

✓ I loved writing letters to my friends.

When referring to letters in general or to letters written for multiple friends, use the plural noun 'letters.' The phrase 'to my friends' correctly indicates the recipients.

× I love writing letter for my friends.

✓ I loved writing letters to my friends.

Use the preposition 'to' when identifying the people who receive letters. 'For my friends' is possible in some contexts, but 'write letters to my friends' is the standard expression.

× Whenever my is coming my my friend's birthday coming birthday is coming I usually write the letter for them.

✓ Whenever my friend's birthday is coming, I usually write a letter to them.

The original sentence contains repeated and incomplete phrases, which make the sentence difficult to understand. Use one clear subject and verb phrase: 'my friend's birthday is coming.' The sentence also needs the article 'a' before 'letter.'

× As I mentioned, uh, there is something special such as anniversary, birthday or any events and so on.

✓ As I mentioned, there is a special occasion, such as an anniversary, a birthday, or another event.

Singular countable nouns such as 'anniversary' and 'birthday' need articles. Use 'an' before 'anniversary' and 'a' before 'birthday.' The phrase 'a special occasion' is also more natural than 'something special' in this context.

× Yeah, they usually they prefer to write the letter.

✓ Yes, they usually prefer to write letters.

The subject 'they' is unnecessarily repeated. Also, 'write letters' is the natural expression when speaking about handwritten letters in general.

× Yeah, they usually they prefer to write the letter.

✓ Yes, they usually prefer to write letters.

The singular phrase 'the letter' suggests one specific letter. Because the student is discussing a general habit, use the plural noun 'letters.'

× So I whenever I, uh, my daughter just come out, I usually write on my phone.

✓ So, whenever I go out with my daughter, I usually write on my phone.

The original sentence has an incomplete and disorganized structure. 'Whenever I go out with my daughter' is a complete time clause and clearly expresses the intended meaning.

× So I whenever I, uh, my daughter just come out, I usually write on my phone.

✓ So, whenever I go out with my daughter, I usually write on my phone.

The subject 'I' requires the base verb 'go,' not the third-person form 'comes.' The corrected clause uses the present simple because it describes a regular habit.