Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答直接表达了“没有”，但语法和搭配问题较多，例如“a person that who is like to do”应改为“someone who likes doing crafts”，“do some craft”应改为“make crafts”。此外，“I didn't like”是过去时，与问题询问现在或一般经历不完全匹配。建议使用“Actually, no”直接回答，再给出一个简短原因，并避免重复表达“不喜欢”。

例: Actually, no. I have never been very interested in making paper crafts because they require a lot of patience. I usually prefer activities that are quicker and more practical.

提案: 答案基本回应了问题，并提供了原因，但时态不一致，应将“use”改为“used”，并删除“practice practice”。“a so beautiful handwriting”和“the more score when you are exam”不自然，建议改为“neat handwriting”以及“get higher marks in exams”。可以加入一个具体细节，例如练习字母、抄写课文或完成作业，使答案更具体。

例: When I was a child, I mainly used paper to practise my handwriting. I often copied short passages from my textbooks because I wanted my writing to look neat. I believed that neat handwriting could help me get higher marks in exams.

提案: 答案立场清楚，也给出了现代科技带来的原因，但“smart phone is everywhere”应改为“smartphones are widely used”，“use social media or So we chat”存在重复和不完整表达。建议使用“Instead”或“so”连接观点，并避免重复“convenient”和“nowadays”。还可以补充一个例外情况，例如写生日卡片或感谢信。

例: No, I rarely write physical letters nowadays. Smartphones and messaging apps are much more convenient, so I usually contact my friends through text messages or social media. However, I might write a card for a special occasion, such as a birthday.

提案: 答案尝试进行分类说明，但没有准确回答“人们是否保存手写信件”，而是偏离到“作业是否手写”。“depends on the work they do”不适合这个问题；“some people do some social media work”也不自然。建议先明确表态，例如“Some people do, but it is less common than before”，然后说明保存手写信件的情感原因，并使用“while”进行对比。

例: Yes, some people still keep handwritten letters, although this is less common than it used to be. They may save letters from family members or friends because these messages have sentimental value. However, most everyday communication is now digital, so people rarely keep ordinary written notes.

提案: 答案有明确的“有时”立场，也进行了场景对比，但“some class”应改为“a class”，“some pain”是明显用词错误，应为“a pen”，“carry my courses”不自然，应为“carry my course materials”。建议用“If I’m going to...”构成条件句，并减少“some”和“you know”等口语填充词。

例: Sometimes. If I’m going to a class, I usually carry a notebook and a couple of pens so that I can take notes. However, when I’m just meeting friends, I normally leave them at home because I can use my phone if I need to write something down.

× Actually no, because I'm not a person that who is like to do some craft and I'm not a patient person so I didn't like doing it at all.

✓ Actually, no, because I'm not a person who likes doing crafts, and I'm not a patient person, so I don't like doing them at all.

“That who”不能同时使用，关系代词只需要使用“who”。这里“who”指代“a person”。另外，后面用“them”指代复数名词“crafts”更清楚。

× Actually no, because I'm not a person that who is like to do some craft and I'm not a patient person so I didn't like doing it at all.

✓ Actually, no, because I'm not a person who likes doing crafts, and I'm not a patient person, so I don't like doing them at all.

主语“who”指代第三人称单数“a person”，所以动词“like”要加“-s”，变成“likes”。

× Actually no, because I'm not a person that who is like to do some craft and I'm not a patient person so I didn't like doing it at all.

✓ Actually, no, because I'm not a person who likes doing crafts, and I'm not a patient person, so I don't like doing them at all.

“craft”在这里表示泛指的手工活动，通常使用复数“crafts”。同时，后文用复数代词“them”与之保持一致。

× Actually no, because I'm not a person that who is like to do some craft and I'm not a patient person so I didn't like doing it at all.

✓ Actually, no, because I'm not a person who likes doing crafts, and I'm not a patient person, so I don't like doing them at all.

这里描述的是现在的个人喜好，不是过去的喜好，因此应使用一般现在时“don't like”，而不是一般过去时“didn't like”。

× When I was a child I maybe just use paper to practice practice my handwriting.

✓ When I was a child, I maybe just used paper to practice my handwriting.

“When I was a child”表示过去时间，所以动词“use”应使用过去式“used”。另外，“practice”重复了一次，应删除一个。

× You know, when I was a child, I really liked to practice my handwriting because if you have a so beautiful handwriting then you will get the more score when you are exam.

✓ You know, when I was a child, I really liked to practice my handwriting because if you have such beautiful handwriting, you will get a higher score in an exam.

“Handwriting”通常是不可数名词，不能使用“a”。此外，“exam”是可数名词，单数形式前需要使用冠词“an”。

× You know, when I was a child, I really liked to practice my handwriting because if you have a so beautiful handwriting then you will get the more score when you are exam.

✓ You know, when I was a child, I really liked to practice my handwriting because if you have such beautiful handwriting, you will get a higher score in an exam.

“So”不能直接放在名词短语“beautiful handwriting”前面。这里应使用“such + 形容词 + 名词”，所以改为“such beautiful handwriting”。

× You know, when I was a child, I really liked to practice my handwriting because if you have a so beautiful handwriting then you will get the more score when you are exam.

✓ You know, when I was a child, I really liked to practice my handwriting because if you have such beautiful handwriting, you will get a higher score in an exam.

“More score”不是正确的比较表达。表示分数更高时，应使用“a higher score”。“Score”是可数名词单数，因此前面要有冠词“a”。

× You know, when I was a child, I really liked to practice my handwriting because if you have a so beautiful handwriting then you will get the more score when you are exam.

✓ You know, when I was a child, I really liked to practice my handwriting because if you have such beautiful handwriting, you will get a higher score in an exam.

表示“在考试中”时，应使用介词短语“in an exam”，而不是“when you are exam”。

× No, I don't because nowadays you know smart phone is everywhere and it's so convenient we can use social media or So we chat to talk with other friends and it's so convenient so I never use physical letters nowadays.

✓ No, I don't, because nowadays smartphones are everywhere, and it's so convenient to use social media or WeChat to chat with my friends. Therefore, I never write physical letters nowadays.

“Nowadays”表示现在普遍存在的情况，“smartphones”应使用复数形式。复数形式也与后面的“are”保持一致。

× No, I don't because nowadays you know smart phone is everywhere and it's so convenient we can use social media or So we chat to talk with other friends and it's so convenient so I never use physical letters nowadays.

✓ No, I don't, because nowadays smartphones are everywhere, and it's so convenient to use social media or WeChat to chat with my friends. Therefore, I never write physical letters nowadays.

主语“smartphones”是复数，所以系动词应使用“are”，不能使用单数形式“is”。

× No, I don't because nowadays you know smart phone is everywhere and it's so convenient we can use social media or So we chat to talk with other friends and it's so convenient so I never use physical letters nowadays.

✓ No, I don't, because nowadays smartphones are everywhere, and it's so convenient to use social media or WeChat to chat with my friends. Therefore, I never write physical letters nowadays.

“It's so convenient we can...”中间缺少合适的结构。应改为“it's so convenient to use...”，使用不定式说明“方便做什么”。同时，原句连接词重复，拆分成两个句子后结构更清晰。

× No, I don't because nowadays you know smart phone is everywhere and it's so convenient we can use social media or So we chat to talk with other friends and it's so convenient so I never use physical letters nowadays.

✓ No, I don't, because nowadays smartphones are everywhere, and it's so convenient to use social media or WeChat to chat with my friends. Therefore, I never write physical letters nowadays.

原句中“and”和“so”重复连接多个意思，导致句子过长。可以用句号分开，并用“Therefore”连接结果，使逻辑关系更清楚。

× Actually it depends on the work they do maybe for example if you are a student you have so many assignments and some maybe some assignments must be handwriting.

✓ Actually, it depends on the work they do. For example, if you are a student, you have many assignments, and some assignments must be handwritten.

作业是“被书写”的对象，因此需要使用被动语态“must be handwritten”，而不是“must be handwriting”。

× Actually it depends on the work they do maybe for example if you are a student you have so many assignments and some maybe some assignments must be handwriting.

✓ Actually, it depends on the work they do. For example, if you are a student, you have many assignments, and some assignments must be handwritten.

被动语态的结构是“must be + 过去分词”。“handwrite”的过去分词是“handwritten”，所以应说“must be handwritten”。

× Sometimes for example, if I have some class and then I will carry my courses, textbooks and some papers and some pain to record some notes you know, but if I just hang out with my friends then I will not do it.

✓ Sometimes, for example, if I have a class, I will carry my course materials, textbooks, some papers, and a pen to take some notes. But if I just hang out with my friends, I will not do it.

“Class”是可数名词单数，前面需要使用冠词“a”。“Pen”也是单数可数名词，因此应使用“a pen”。

× Sometimes for example, if I have some class and then I will carry my courses, textbooks and some papers and some pain to record some notes you know, but if I just hang out with my friends then I will not do it.

✓ Sometimes, for example, if I have a class, I will carry my course materials, textbooks, some papers, and a pen to take some notes. But if I just hang out with my friends, I will not do it.

“Some class”不适合表示“一节课”。表示一个具体的课程时，应使用“a class”。“Some pen”也不适合修饰单数可数名词，应改为“a pen”。