Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly without an unnecessary greeting. Avoid repetition such as “when I was a child in my childhood” and “from paper with paper.” The final sentence is unclear, so explain what you did with the paper plane and why you enjoyed it. Use linking words such as “for example” and “because” to connect your ideas naturally.

例: Yes, I made a few paper crafts when I was a child. For example, I often made paper planes and competed with my friends to see whose plane could fly the farthest. I enjoyed it because it was simple and creative.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and use grammatically correct forms: say “draw on paper,” “It was my favorite hobby,” and “I often drew pictures as gifts.” Keep the tense consistently in the past because the question asks about childhood. Add one specific example of what you drew and explain your childhood ambition more naturally.

例: When I was a child, I loved drawing on paper. I often drew flowers, animals, and pictures of my family, especially for my mother’s birthday. In fact, I dreamed of becoming an artist because drawing made me feel creative and relaxed.

提案: State your answer clearly at the beginning: “No, I don’t usually write physical letters.” Replace unclear phrases such as “a way to gift about information” and “male male letters” with “to share information” and “emails or online messages.” Then contrast this with a specific situation in which you might write a card or letter, such as a birthday or a special occasion.

例: No, I don’t usually write physical letters because I normally use emails or messaging apps to communicate. However, I sometimes write a card for a birthday or another special occasion. It feels more personal than sending a digital message.

提案: Avoid making an overly general statement such as “people do not keep handwritten letters.” A more balanced answer would acknowledge that digital communication is more common, while some people still keep letters for sentimental reasons. Correct the unclear expression “hydrogen letters” and use “I write in a journal” or “I keep handwritten notes.” Use the present tense for your current habit and give a clear personal reason.

例: Yes, I think some people still keep handwritten letters, although most communication is digital nowadays. People often save old letters because they have sentimental value, especially if they were written by family members. Personally, I keep a handwritten journal because writing down my thoughts helps me feel calmer.

提案: Answer using the present tense because the question asks about your current habit: say “I carry paper and pens when I go to my Italian or English lessons.” Replace “carried out” with “carry” and “it’s not needing” with “I don’t need them.” Make the contrast clear with “However” and explain briefly why you do not carry them in everyday life.

例: I usually carry paper and pens when I go to my Italian or English lessons because I need to take notes. However, I rarely take them with me when I go out for other reasons. I normally use my phone instead, so I don’t need a notebook in my daily life.

× When I was a child, I used to draw with the paper.

✓ When I was a child, I used to draw on paper.

Paper is used as an uncountable noun when referring to the material in general, so the definite article the is not needed. Also, we normally say draw on paper rather than draw with paper.

× It was my favorite hobbies.

✓ It was my favorite hobby.

The subject it refers to one activity, so the singular noun hobby must be used instead of the plural noun hobbies.

× I often do drawing for gift to my family members, to my mother especially.

✓ I often drew pictures as gifts for my family members, especially my mother.

The answer refers to a repeated activity in the past, so the past-tense verb drew is required. The plural form gifts is also appropriate because the student made more than one gift.

× I often do drawing for gift to my family members, to my mother especially.

✓ I often drew pictures as gifts for my family members, especially my mother.

The noun gift is countable and needs an article or a plural form. In this context, the plural form gifts is the most natural choice.

× General no, especially like a way to gift about information, because we use only a male male letters.

✓ Generally, no, especially because we usually use email to give information.

Generally is the adverb needed to modify the whole answer; general is an adjective. The corrected sentence also uses a grammatically appropriate structure for explaining how information is exchanged.

× And in final, we need to get a arrived departure on this plane.

✓ Finally, we needed to make the plane fly.

The original sentence does not have a clear grammatical structure, and a arrived departure cannot function as a meaningful noun phrase. The corrected sentence has a clear subject, verb, and object and expresses the intended idea naturally.

× Because we use only a male male letters.

✓ Because we usually use emails.

A cannot be used before the plural noun letters. The corrected sentence uses the plural noun emails without an article because it refers to email messages in general.

× But if we say about a gift, we really use this option to give someone a little bit gift.

✓ But when we are talking about gifts, we use this option to give someone a little gift.

The natural expression is talk about, not say about. Also, we say a little gift, not a little bit gift, because little directly modifies the countable noun gift.

× But if we say about a gift, we really use this option to give someone a little bit gift.

✓ But when we are talking about gifts, we use this option to give someone a little gift.

The singular countable noun gift needs the article a. The phrase a little gift is grammatically correct.

× I think no because we all in the e-mail we in the Internet.

✓ I think not, because we all use email and the internet.

The original sentence contains incomplete clauses because the verb is missing after we. The corrected version adds use, which gives the sentence a complete subject-verb structure.

× But for me like example I use hydrogen letters for myself I did.

✓ For example, I write handwritten letters to myself.

The original sentence contains several disconnected phrases and an unnecessary final clause. The corrected sentence has a clear introductory phrase followed by one complete clause.

× For example, I write handwritten letters to myself.

✓ For example, I write handwritten letters to myself.

The present simple is used correctly here because the student is describing a current habit. This correction expresses a repeated action rather than a single completed action.

× I written my minds, my thoughts and it helped me be more calm.

✓ I wrote down my thoughts, and it helped me feel calmer.

Written is a past participle and normally requires an auxiliary verb such as have. Because the student is describing a completed past action, the simple past form wrote is needed.

× I written my minds, my thoughts and it helped me be more calm.

✓ I wrote down my thoughts, and it helped me feel calmer.

Mind should not be pluralized in this expression. The natural noun for personal ideas and feelings is thoughts.

× When I go to my some lessons like Italian and English, yes of course I carried out my paper and pens with me.

✓ When I go to lessons such as Italian and English, I carry my paper and pens with me.

The phrase go to lessons is correct, and such as is more appropriate for introducing examples. The preposition to is used with go when referring to a destination or activity.

× When I go to my some lessons like Italian and English, yes of course I carried out my paper and pens with me.

✓ When I go to lessons such as Italian and English, I carry my paper and pens with me.

The question asks about a current or usual habit, so the present simple carry is required instead of the past form carried.

× But if we say about the general life of my work, I often go there without these things because it's not needing my work or in my life general.

✓ However, in my everyday work and life, I often go without these things because I do not need them.

These things refers to paper and pens, so the object pronoun them is needed after need. The original sentence uses an unclear structure and does not correctly identify the object of the verb.

× But if we say about the general life of my work, I often go there without these things because it's not needing my work or in my life general.

✓ However, in my everyday work and life, I often go without these things because I do not need them.

This answer describes a regular present situation, so do not need is the correct present-simple form. The form is not needing is not appropriate with the verb need in this context.

× But if we say about the general life of my work, I often go there without these things because it's not needing my work or in my life general.

✓ However, in my everyday work and life, I often go without these things because I do not need them.

The adverb everyday should be placed before the noun phrase it modifies, as in everyday work and life. The phrase life general has the words in the wrong order.