Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct small grammatical errors; start with a clear topic sentence, add one specific detail, and use a linking phrase. Avoid repetition (e.g., "by using by").

例: Yes. I used to make paper animals by folding origami shapes, which I learned from some Japanese classmates. However, I haven’t practiced recently, so I often need their guidance when I try.

提案: Use past tense consistently and give one specific example; include a linking word for coherence. Replace vague phrases with concrete details.

例: As a child, I loved drawing with crayons. For example, I often sketched scenes from my neighborhood, like the park and my pet dog, which helped me remember details.

提案: Fix grammar (verb forms and articles) and make the reason clearer with a linking word. Keep it to one topic sentence plus one supporting detail.

例: Yes. I still write physical notes and letters because the act of writing helps me remember information better, so I can absorb new knowledge more quickly.

提案: Correct vocabulary (sincerity) and phrasing; avoid starting sentences with 'And' repeatedly. Provide one clear reason and an example to support your opinion.

例: Yes. Keeping handwritten letters can convey sincerity to friends or family because a personal note shows time and effort; for instance, a short heartfelt letter can express feelings you might be too shy to say aloud.

提案: This answer is clear and well-structured; just make small improvements: capitalize proper nouns, and use one linking phrase to connect idea and benefit. Keep it concise.

例: No. I usually use my iPad with an Apple Pencil because I can color-code and reorganize notes quickly, which makes it lighter and more portable than carrying paper and pens.

× I have made some animals by using by folding the papers into different shapes.

✓ I have made some animals by folding the paper into different shapes.

The phrase 'by using by folding' is redundant and incorrect. Use 'by' + verb-ing once: 'by folding'. Also 'papers' is unnecessary; use 'paper' as an uncountable material. Suggestion: remove the extra 'by' and change 'papers' to 'paper'.

× I was taught by several Japanese students, but now I can't do it by myself without their guidance.

✓ I was taught by several Japanese students, but now I can't do it on my own without their guidance.

The phrase 'do it by myself' is understandable but 'on my own' is more natural. This is primarily a word choice/style improvement; sentence structure and verb agreement are correct. Recommendation: use 'on my own' for idiomatic phrasing.

× I like drawing when I was a child.

✓ I liked drawing when I was a child.

The time reference 'when I was a child' requires past tense. Use 'liked' (past) not 'like' (present). Suggestion: match verb tense to the time frame.

× I always grab crayons and draw whatever I like and what I have seen.

✓ I always grabbed crayons and drew whatever I liked and whatever I had seen.

The sentence describes habitual actions in the past, so verbs should be in past tense. Also parallel structure: use 'whatever I liked and whatever I had seen' or simply 'whatever I had seen'. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense and parallelism.

× Yes, and I find writing physical letters really helpful for my study because it the process build up my memories quickly and helped me to absorb new knowledge.

✓ Yes, and I find writing physical letters really helpful for my studies because the process builds up my memory quickly and helps me absorb new knowledge.

Multiple issues: 'for my study' is better as 'for my studies'; extraneous 'it' before 'the process'; verb forms need agreement: 'process builds' (present simple) to match 'find' and 'helps me absorb' (present simple). Also 'memories' -> 'memory' is more natural here. Suggestion: remove 'it', correct noun forms, and use present simple for general truths.

× Yes. And this behavior deliver your sense of sinnerity to your friends or your family.

✓ Yes. And this behavior delivers your sense of sincerity to your friends or your family.

Verb agreement: 'behavior' (singular) requires 'delivers'. Spelling error: 'sinnerity' -> 'sincerity'. Also 'your friends or your family' is acceptable but can be 'friends or family'. Suggestion: correct spelling and use singular verb form.

× And sometimes if you are really shy about writing some of your authentic feelings, it is a good way.

✓ And sometimes, if you are really shy about writing some of your true feelings, it is a good way to express them.

'Authentic feelings' is awkward; 'true feelings' is more natural. The sentence lacks an object for 'express' — add 'to express them'. Also add a comma after 'sometimes' for clarity. Suggestion: use 'true feelings' and complete the idea with 'to express them'.

× No, I usually use my iPad with an apple pencil instead of bringing any papers or pens because I can use different colors and reorganize my notes quickly.

✓ No, I usually use my iPad with an Apple Pencil instead of bringing any paper or pens because I can use different colors and reorganize my notes quickly.

'Papers' is better as uncountable 'paper' when referring to paper in general. Brand/device name 'Apple Pencil' should be capitalized. 'Bringing any paper or pens' is clearer. Suggestion: use uncountable 'paper' and capitalize proper nouns.

× It's much lighter and portable.

✓ It's much lighter and more portable.

Parallel adjective structure: when comparing two adjectives with 'and', use 'more' for the second adjective if the first uses comparative 'lighter' as part of the comparison. 'Lighter and portable' is unbalanced. Suggestion: use 'more portable' to maintain parallel comparatives.