Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答は意図は伝わるが、文法ミスや語彙の誤用、冗長さが目立ちます。まず主語と時制を明確にし、文を短くして一文で主旨を述べ、その後で具体例を1〜2文で補足してください。接続詞（for example, when I was young）を使って論理的につなげ、誤った単語（write → said/wrote?; praying → playing）を正しく置き換えましょう。発音や綴りの間違いにも注意。

例: Yes, I have. I used to make paper birds when I was young. For example, at summer camps I often did paper crafts and drawing with my friends.

提案: 答えが途中で終わっており、明確さと一貫性が欠けています。まずトピック文で直接答え（I liked making origami）を述べ、その後に理由や具体例を1〜2文加えて説明してください。重複（Japanese Japanese）や誤った語（prey → craft/artefactなど）を直し、文を完結させましょう。

例: As a child, I liked making origami. I enjoyed folding paper into animals because it was creative and I could show my friends the models I made.

提案: 基本的な意図は明確ですが語彙の誤用（leather→letters?；Frisk→frank/handwritten?）や文法（using computer→on the computer）が見られます。短く明確に答え、続けて頻度や相手を具体的に説明してください。接続詞で流れを整え、正しい語彙を使いましょう。

例: No, I don't usually. I type most messages on the computer, but sometimes I write handwritten letters to my grandmother and father because they don't use smartphones.

提案: 意見は示せていますが、表現が重複し冗長です（line up or email and email）。論理の流れを整理し、理由を1〜2点具体的に述べてください。例えば世代差や保存の価値について触れるとより説得力が出ます。文は完結させること。

例: I don't think many people keep handwritten letters today because most communication is done via smartphones and email. However, some people still save special letters as keepsakes.

提案: 答えは肯定していますが説明が混乱しており（if I sew I see beautiful things）、理由が不明瞭です。まず理由を一文で述べ、次に具体例（メモやスケッチなど）を付け加えてください。繰り返しを避け、関連する語彙（pencil → pen/pencil）を正しく使いましょう。

例: Yes, I do. I always carry a notebook and a pen because I like to take quick notes or make sketches when I see something interesting.

× Yes, I have I made bird with paper.

✓ Yes, I have. I made a bird out of paper.

The original sentence has run-on and missing articles. Split into two sentences to separate present perfect ('I have') from past simple ('I made'). Use the article 'a' before 'bird' and the preposition 'out of' to indicate material.

× When I was young, I write I like praying inside camp, for example paper craft and drawing.

✓ When I was young, I wrote that I liked playing in camps, for example doing paper crafts and drawing.

Tense inconsistency: 'When I was young' requires past tense verbs. Change 'write' to 'wrote' (or better 'said') and 'like' to 'liked'. 'Praying' is incorrect word; context suggests 'playing'. Use plural 'camps' and gerunds 'doing paper crafts' for activities.

× When I was a child I like I liked bringing In origami.

✓ When I was a child I liked doing origami.

Tense issue: 'When I was a child' requires past tense 'liked'. Remove the redundant 'like'. Use verb 'doing' with 'origami' to describe the activity; 'bringing in' is incorrect here.

× Ourigami is Japanese Japanese prey for child.

✓ Origami is a Japanese craft for children.

Multiple problems: spelling 'Ourigami' and duplicated 'Japanese'. 'Prey' is wrong word; should be 'craft'. Use plural 'children' for general statement. Correct word order 'Japanese craft'.

× It is

✓ It is a form of paper folding.

Sentence fragment: 'It is' is incomplete. Complete the idea by explaining what origami is; keep present tense for general definition.

× No I don't.

✓ No, I don't.

Punctuation: add comma after 'No' for natural speech transcription. No grammatical tense error otherwise.

× I usually write leather using computer.

✓ I usually write letters using a computer.

Wrong word 'leather' should be 'letters'. Add article 'a' before 'computer' and use 'using a computer' to indicate the medium.

× Sometimes I write Frisk letter to my grandmother and father.

✓ Sometimes I write a physical letter to my grandmother and my father.

'Frisk' is incorrect; likely 'first' or 'physical' — context suggests 'physical' (handwritten). Add article 'a' before 'physical letter' and include 'my' consistently before family members.

× They don't use smartphone.

✓ They don't use smartphones.

Count noun: 'smartphone' should be plural 'smartphones' when referring to people in general. Also natural to omit article.

× In my opinion, I don't think so because now almost people have smartphones so we always use line up or email and email.

✓ In my opinion, I don't think so because nowadays almost everyone has a smartphone, so we always use LINE or email.

Awkward phrasing and repetition: 'now almost people' -> 'nowadays almost everyone'; 'smartphones' singular/plural consistency; 'line up' should be 'LINE' (the messaging app) and 'email and email' is duplicate; remove repetition and improve word order.

× So I don't

✓ So I don't either.

Incomplete sentence: 'So I don't' sounds unfinished. Add 'either' to indicate agreement with previous negative statement.

× Yes, I do.

✓ Yes, I do.

This sentence is fine in present tense; no change needed. Included to show correct response.

× I always carry paper and pens when I go out because I like paper and pencil because if I sew I see beautiful things I like this thing.

✓ I always carry paper and pens when I go out because I like paper and pencils; when I see beautiful things, I like to draw them.

Run-on sentence and unclear phrases: use plural 'pencils' to match 'paper and pens'. 'Because if I sew I see' is incorrect; likely 'when I see'. Clarify intent: carry to draw beautiful things. Use 'like to draw them' for purpose and correct verb forms.