Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答較自然但有語法與表達不流暢處，句子冗贅且有口語斷裂（例如“one, kind of. Plane”），應簡潔直接並加上連接詞來提升連貫性。此外可提供具體細節（比賽類型、獲獎或失敗的原因、喜歡的原因）以豐富內容。練習時注意句子完整性和發音的連貫。

例: Yes. I used to make paper planes a lot in primary school and even took part in class competitions. Although I rarely won because my planes didn’t fly very well, I enjoyed experimenting with different designs and improving their distance.

提案: 內容有趣但用詞不當與語法錯誤（“swelled”，“escape from my mother's plane”），表達不夠清晰。應避免危險行為的過度細節，改用更合適的詞彙描述感受，並用連接詞說明轉折（例如 however, so）。同時保持回答在最多五句內。

例: As a child I was fascinated by fire and liked watching flames, but after a near accident when I almost burned my bedsheet I stopped doing that for safety reasons.

提案: 回答清晰且有理由支持，但可以更精練並加入具體例子（例如信中寫了什麼、多久寫一次）。可使用連接詞（for example, moreover）使語句更流暢。避免冗詞如“because I think”。

例: Yes, I still write physical letters occasionally. For example, I write handwritten notes to my boyfriend on special occasions to show sincerity, and I often send birthday cards to close friends.

提案: 觀點明確但語氣有點教條且句子結構不夠自然（例如“You should, and you have the responsibility to keep it. Securely, right?”）。建議用更柔和的表達並提供具體原因或例子說明為何保留信件有價值，使用連接詞提高連貫性。

例: Yes, I think many people still keep handwritten letters because they are personal and sentimental. For instance, people often save letters from family or partners as mementos of important moments.

提案: 回答內容合理但有語法錯誤與重複（例如“intending to have a class”，“use it on the classes”，“that's a little bit weird and it's useless for me”）。建議使用更簡潔自然的句子，加入連接詞並給出具體情境（如工作、筆記需求）。避免使用貶義詞如“useless”以免語氣不禮貌。

例: I usually carry paper and pens when I have classes or meetings because I need to take notes. However, when I'm just hanging out with friends I don't bring them since I rarely need to write anything.

× I often made paper planes when I was a primary school student, and I always participated in some competitions with my classmates.

✓ I often made paper planes when I was a primary school student, and I always participated in some competitions with my classmates.

该句时态使用总体上可以，但与后文“I was always the loser”连用时，最好保持过去时一致——句子本身已为过去时，无需更改。此处不属于错误，仅提醒保持时态一致性。

× But I was always the loser in these competitions because I just could make one, kind of. Plane, but it was really fun.

✓ But I was always the loser in these competitions because I could only make one kind of plane, but it was really fun.

原句中出现断裂（"kind of. Plane"）和词序问题（"just could make one"）。应将情态助动词与副词顺序调整为"could only"，并把"one kind of plane"合并为一个短语以保持句子连贯。建议注意英语中副词通常位于情态动词与主要动词之间，且避免句子中断。

× When I was a child, I loved to burn paper because the flames and sparkles made me feel swelled and excited.

✓ When I was a child, I loved to burn paper because the flames and sparks made me feel thrilled and excited.

"Swelled"是过去分词/形容词，意思为“肿胀”，不用于描述情绪变化，应使用表示情绪的形容词如"thrilled"或"excited"。此外"sparkles"作名词虽可，但更常用复数名词"sparks"描述火花。建议用表达情绪的词语并选择常用的名词形式。

× But one time I almost set my bed sheets alight.

✓ But one time I almost set my bedsheets alight.

这里主要是词形拼写问题："bed sheets"通常合并为"bedsheets"或写作"bed sheets"均可，但更自然是"bedsheets"或"the bed sheets"。时态（过去）使用正确，无需更改。建议写作"the bed sheets"或"my bedsheets"以更自然。

× So I quit this hobby in order to escape from my mother's plane and for safety reasons.

✓ So I quit this hobby in order to escape from my mother's plans and for safety reasons.

原句中"plane"应为"plans"（计划），显然是发音误用或拼写错误。根据语境是为了躲避母亲的计划（或母亲的责备），应改为复数或合适名词。建议确认意图后使用正确名词（"plan"或"plans"）。

× Yes, I still write physical letters but sometimes, for example, I write to my boyfriend to show my love because I think in this fast-paced world this will show my sincerity and respect.

✓ Yes, I still write physical letters, but sometimes, for example, I write to my boyfriend to show my love because I think in this fast-paced world this shows my sincerity and respect.

句子开始为一般现在时，后半句使用"will show"会引入将来含义，与现在习惯矛盾。将"will show"改为一般现在时"shows"更符合表示普遍事实的用法。建议在表达习惯或常理时使用一般现在时。

× If you receive a letter from others, you should, and you have the responsibility to keep it. Securely, right?

✓ If you receive a letter from someone else, you should keep it securely; you have the responsibility to do so, right?

原句中"from others"不如"from someone else"自然，且"you should, and you have the responsibility to keep it"结构不连贯。将"keep it securely"合并为动词短语，并用分号或逗号连接。最后的"Securely, right?"应并入句子作为确认疑问句。建议避免孤立短语，保证句子完整。

× If I'm intending to have a class, yes, I will carry paper and pens with me because I will use it on the classes.

✓ If I intend to have a class, yes, I will carry paper and pens with me because I will use them in the class.

"I'm intending"在此处不自然，英语中通常用一般现在时或简单将来表达计划，改为"I intend"。另外，"paper and pens"为复数，应使用代词"them"而非"it"；介词应为"in the class"或"in class"而不是"on the classes"。建议注意时态习惯、代词数一致以及介词搭配。

× But if I just hang out with my friends, I will not carry them with me.

✓ But if I just hang out with my friends, I don't carry them with me.

这里用将来时"will not"表示习惯行为不如用一般现在时更自然。因为说话者在描述一个通常的行为，应用一般现在时"don't carry"。建议在谈论习惯时使用一般现在时。

× That's a little bit weird and it's useless for me.

✓ That's a little bit weird and it's useless to me.

英语中常用"useless to me"或"useless for me"都可，但更自然的是"useless to me"。两者差异较小，但在此语境使用"to"更地道。建议多听标准搭配，掌握惯用介词搭配方式。

× In most occasions I think they are not useful.

✓ On most occasions I think they are not useful.

固定搭配为"on most occasions"而不是"in most occasions"。因此应把介词"in"改为"on"。建议记忆常见固定搭配的介词用法。