Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatical, concise and clear. Start with a topic sentence stating which paper crafts you made, then give one or two specific examples using linking words (for example, and, also). Avoid filler sounds and incomplete phrases. Keep to 2–3 sentences and use past tense for childhood activities.

例: Yes. I often made simple paper crafts when I was a child, such as paper airplanes and origami animals. For example, I enjoyed folding paper to make birds and boats, and sometimes we used paper eggs for a game called ‘North and South.’

提案: Use clear tense (past) and a concise topic sentence. List 2 specific activities with linking words and one brief detail about why you liked them. Avoid repetition and unfinished sentences.

例: As a child, I liked making paper airplanes and drawing with friends. I would fold planes and see how far they could fly, and I also enjoyed coloring pictures together because it was social and relaxing.

提案: Be direct and use present simple for habitual actions. Start with a clear yes/no and then briefly explain frequency and purpose with one specific example. Remove vague phrases like 'any fashion.'

例: Yes, but not often. I usually write physical letters or handmade cards for birthdays, for example I make a card for my mother and write a personal message to show appreciation.

提案: Give a clear opinion then support it with two concise reasons using linking words (for example, because, so). Use more precise vocabulary (e.g., 'handwriting', 'sentimental value', 'tangible'). Avoid unclear phrases like 'hair writing' or 'pretty had content.'

例: Yes, I believe some people still keep handwritten letters because they value the personal handwriting and the tangible feel of paper. For example, letters often have sentimental value and can be kept as permanent keepsakes.

提案: Answer directly and concisely. Use present simple for habits and give one clear reason with a short example. Remove repeated phrases and filler.

例: Yes, I usually carry a small notebook and a pen when I go out because I often need to write down contact details or quick notes. For instance, I use it to record phone numbers or directions when I cannot remember them.

× Yes, I really enjoyed to using paper to make a craft like to float it and make a animal or I always play a game called W is North and South game eggs made by paper. Then we can use the uh craft to like.

✓ Yes, I really enjoyed using paper to make crafts, like folding them to make animals. I also used to play a game called W is North and South with paper eggs. Then we could use the crafts to play with.

The original sentence misuses the infinitive 'to using' instead of the gerund 'using' (verb + -ing). 'Enjoy' is followed by a gerund. 'Make a craft' should be plural 'make crafts' for general activity. 'To float it' is unclear; 'folding them to make animals' clarifies the intended action. 'I always play' does not fit past context; use 'used to play' or 'I also used to play' for past habit. Suggestion: use gerunds after verbs like 'enjoy' and keep tense consistent.

× There are multiple things that I can do. First, I can do a paper float to make paper plane and fly it to everywhere and also I can use paper to do drawing and coloring the picture with my friends. And oftentimes I will use paper to draw

✓ There were several things I could do. First, I could make paper planes and fly them everywhere. I could also use paper for drawing and coloring pictures with my friends, and I often used paper to draw.

The student mixes present modal 'can' with past context (childhood). Use past tense 'could' and 'were' for actions as a child (present tense issue). 'A paper float' is incorrect; likely 'paper plane'. 'Fly it to everywhere' should be 'fly them everywhere'. 'Do drawing' should be 'draw' or 'for drawing'. Improve consistency by using past tense for childhood activities.

× Yes, I will do that but not often I will write the actual physical letter to someone's birthday and I can make a gift card for them to write them some words that I want to say to them like for my friends and for my mom during their birthday or any fashion

✓ Yes, I do that occasionally; I will write a physical letter for someone's birthday, and I can make a gift card to write messages for my friends or my mom on their birthdays or other occasions.

The original uses 'will' incorrectly for habitual or occasional present actions; use simple present 'do' or present continuous for current habits. 'During their birthday' is unnatural; use 'on their birthdays'. 'Any fashion' is incorrect word choice; 'other occasions' is appropriate. Modal verbs should match meaning: 'will' implies future intention, not habitual behavior.

× Yes, I think so because I can still can see some of the people who really enjoy with the texture of writing and the hair writing and the real paper or like letter to them because they are pretty had content available value permanent on those items

✓ Yes, I think so, because I can still see people who really enjoy the texture of handwriting and real paper letters, since those items have lasting sentimental value.

The phrase 'enjoy with the texture' is incorrect; use 'enjoy the texture'. 'Hair writing' is likely 'handwriting'. 'Pretty had content available value permanent' is garbled; intended 'have lasting sentimental value' or 'permanent value'. Correct adjective order and word choices to convey meaning clearly.

× Yes, I will always do that because I'm going up especially for for contract information to others or I can receive some message that I cannot quickly remember that I can't remember I think I can't remember then I will use pen and paper to take down the notes.

✓ Yes, I always carry them because I often need to note contact information or messages I might forget, so I use pen and paper to take notes.

The original mixes tenses and contains unclear phrases 'I'm going up' and repeated 'I can't remember'. Use simple present 'I always carry' for habitual actions. 'Take down the notes' is better as 'take notes'. Remove redundant wording and clarify purpose: 'note contact information' and 'messages I might forget'. Modal/tense consistency and concise phrasing improve clarity.