Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer grammatically correct, concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases (e.g., 'singing in YouTube' and 'any rules to talk'). Replace these with 'following tutorials' or 'watching videos'.

例: Yes, I made many paper crafts when I was a child. For example, I followed YouTube tutorials to fold origami animals and make paper flowers, which I used to decorate my room.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and organize supporting details with linking words. Be specific about the types of crafts and the purpose (e.g., decorations). Avoid long, confusing lists and incorrect word forms (use 'airplanes' or 'paper planes', not 'aircraft').

例: As a child, I enjoyed making paper planes and paper flowers. I often watched YouTube tutorials to learn new designs, then used them to decorate my bedroom and play with friends.

提案: Use present simple for current habits and avoid mixing tenses. Start with a direct statement about the present, then give a reason and one specific example. Reduce repetition.

例: Yes, I still write physical letters. I find it easier to express my feelings in writing, so I often write short handwritten notes to close friends and family on special occasions.

提案: Give a balanced opinion and support it with a specific example. Use linking words like 'however' or 'for example'. Avoid vague phrases like 'the close 1' and repetition of 'just'.

例: It depends; some people still keep handwritten letters, while others discard them. For example, I keep letters from my family in a box because they are personal mementos that I re-read sometimes.

提案: Answer directly about your current habit using present simple, then give a brief reason and one example. Use clear linking words (e.g., 'because', 'so') and avoid filler words like 'uh' and repeated phrases.

例: No, I don't usually carry paper and pens when I go out because I use my phone to take notes. For instance, I use a notes app to record ideas or shopping lists while I'm out.

× Yes, I have make many crafts with papers when I was childhood.

✓ Yes, I made many crafts with paper when I was a child.

The original mixes present perfect 'have' with base verb 'make' and uses incorrect noun forms. Use simple past 'made' for a completed past period ('when I was a child'). 'Papers' is uncountable here; use 'paper'. Add article 'a' before 'child'.

× I really love to do.

✓ I really loved doing it.

The sentence lacks an object and uses awkward infinitive. In context of past habits, use past 'loved' and gerund 'doing it' to indicate the activity. This matches tense of surrounding sentences.

× I really love to make a craft paper by singing in YouTube or any rules to talk.

✓ I really like making paper crafts by following YouTube videos or other tutorials.

Several issues: 'make a craft paper' is incorrect—use 'making paper crafts'. 'by singing in YouTube' is wrong preposition and verb; intended meaning is 'following YouTube videos'. 'any rules to talk' unclear; replace with 'other tutorials'. Also shift to present or habitual form 'like'/'making' to express general preference.

× As a child I would like to do with people is to make a different kind of aircraft flowers by watching YouTube and sorting the aircraft with the paper, sorting that and making a different kind of things and decorating our room by those emphasize paper.

✓ As a child, what I liked to do with others was make different kinds of paper airplanes and paper flowers by watching YouTube, sorting the paper, making various things, and decorating our room with those papers.

Original sentence is run-on and unclear. Use past 'liked' for childhood habit. 'Aircraft' is incorrect for 'paper airplanes'. Fix pluralization 'kinds' and reorder phrases for clarity. Use 'decorating our room with those papers' instead of 'emphasize paper' which is incorrect.

× Yes, I used to write physical letters because I don't express my feeling by saying it out, I just express my feeling by writing it and giving it to the people who I love.

✓ Yes, I used to write physical letters because I couldn't express my feelings by saying them out loud; I expressed my feelings by writing and giving letters to the people I love.

Mixes past habit 'used to' with present 'don't'. Change to past 'couldn't' and past 'expressed' to be consistent. Use plural 'feelings' and 'them' as pronoun; 'say it out' is unnatural—use 'say them out loud' or 'say them aloud'. Also remove extra 'the' before 'people'.

× And I just love writing a letters, physical letters and giving it to the people I really love.

✓ And I just love writing physical letters and giving them to the people I really love.

'a letters' mixes singular article with plural noun—remove 'a'. 'Physical letters' is fine without article. Pronoun must agree in number: 'them' for letters, not 'it'. Remove extra commas.

× Uh, it depends on the peoples.

✓ Uh, it depends on the people.

'Peoples' is plural of 'people' only when referring to distinct ethnic groups; here use 'people'. No preposition error beyond plurality; corrected to 'people'.

× In my view I just keep the handwritten letters.

✓ In my view, I keep my handwritten letters.

'Just keep the handwritten letters' is slightly awkward; use 'I keep my handwritten letters' for clarity. For present habit, simple present 'keep' is correct. Add possessive 'my'.

× The handwritten letters I have got from my friends, family and the close 1 and I just write my own note and I just keep it safe and I don't give it to anyone.

✓ The handwritten letters I have received from friends and family, and the notes I write myself, I keep safe and do not give to anyone.

Use 'received' instead of informal 'have got'. 'the close 1' is unclear—remove or replace with 'close friends/family'. Combine clauses for clarity. Use 'notes I write myself' and plural 'letters/notes' so use 'keep them safe' or restructure as above to avoid pronoun mismatch.

× Previously I didn't carry any papers and pens when I'm out because nowadays, uh, social media has a lot of platform like notes to be written message we can take.

✓ Previously I didn't carry any paper or pens when I went out because nowadays social media has many platforms with note features where we can write messages.

Mixes past 'didn't' with present 'I'm out'—make past consistent: 'when I went out'. 'Papers' should be 'paper' uncountable. 'a lot of platform' incorrect—use 'many platforms'. Rephrase 'notes to be written message we can take' to 'platforms with note features where we can write messages'.

× So I just take my phone and type it whenever I need it or whenever I need to record, memorize it.

✓ So I just take my phone and type whenever I need to record or remember something.

Use simple present 'take' for habitual action. 'Type it' is vague—remove object. Use 'record or remember' instead of 'record, memorize it'. 'Memorize' is transitive and uncommon here; 'remember' is more natural.