Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition (e.g. "technique" twice), and use linking words to add one specific detail. Keep to max 4–5 sentences.

例: Yes. I enjoy paper crafts, especially quilling. Using thin strips of paper I roll them into spirals and assemble them into earrings and pendants. I often gift these handmade pieces to friends and family because they appreciate the personal touch.

提案: Lead with a clear topic sentence and split into two concise supporting details. Use linking words (for example, "also" or "in addition") and give one specific example to make it vivid.

例: As a child I mostly used paper for writing and crafts. For example, I made colorful greeting cards for birthdays and festivals, and I also wrote study notes on sticky tabs which I placed on my desk to remind myself of tasks.

提案: Good direct answer; tighten wording and avoid repeating the same idea. Add a brief reason or an example to support your preference.

例: I still write physical letters to close family and friends, but generally I prefer digital messages because they are faster. For instance, I send handwritten notes on special occasions like birthdays to make them more personal.

提案: Start with a concise topic sentence, then give one clear reason and an example. Avoid phrases like "I feel like"—state the reason confidently and use linking words such as "because" or "for example."

例: Yes, many people still keep handwritten letters because they are tangible and sentimental. For example, someone might store an old love letter in a box so they can reread it later and relive memories.

提案: Good conditional structure. Make the topic sentence slightly stronger, use one linking word (e.g. "however"), and give one brief reason why you carry them in certain situations.

例: It depends on where I'm going. For casual outings like a cafe I usually don't bring paper and pens; however, if I'm attending a lecture or visiting a community center I bring them to take notes or jot down useful information.

× There was a technique called quilling technique using which I would fold paper into spiral bounds and I would make earrings and necklaces from it and gift it to my friends and family.

✓ There was a technique called quilling, using which I folded paper into spiral coils and made earrings and necklaces to give to my friends and family.

The sentence uses awkward phrasing and incorrect noun 'bounds'; 'using which I would fold' is wordy and mismatches narrative tense. Change 'would fold' to simple past 'folded' to match 'There was a technique' and use present participle 'using' correctly as a reduced relative clause. Replace 'bounds' with 'coils' (correct noun). Also simplify 'and gift it to' to 'to give to' for natural English.

× I would use paper mostly for writing or I would use different sorts of colored paper to make greeting cards for my friends and families on special occasions.

✓ I mostly used paper for writing, or I used different kinds of colored paper to make greeting cards for my friends and family on special occasions.

'Families' is incorrect in this personal context; use 'family' (uncountable or singular collective). Also consistency of tense: match past habitual with simple past 'used' or 'would use'. 'Sorts of' is better as 'kinds of'.

× As well as I would use colored paper to make notes and put it on my sticky tab which was in front of my desk to study and do not miss any tasks.

✓ I also used colored paper to make notes and put them on a sticky tab in front of my desk to study and avoid missing any tasks.

Pronoun agreement: 'notes' is plural so use 'them' not 'it'. 'As well as' is awkward; 'I also' is clearer. Use simple past 'used' for past habit. 'Sticky tab' is countable so 'a sticky tab' is appropriate. Use 'avoid missing' instead of 'do not miss' to keep grammatical parallelism.

× I do write physical letters for people who are really close to me, but these days I prefer the digitalized version more and I only write such letters to my friends and family who mean a lot to me.

✓ I do write physical letters for people who are really close to me, but these days I prefer digital versions and only write such letters to the friends and family who mean a lot to me.

'Digitalized version' is unnatural; use 'digital versions'. Remove redundant 'more' after 'prefer' and adjust article usage: 'the friends and family' or simply 'friends and family'. Keep present simple as speaker's current habit. Minor article and word choice corrections.

× Yes, people do keep handwritten letters at a very safe place because these days digitalized letters and emails are so common.

✓ Yes, people do keep handwritten letters in a very safe place because these days digital letters and emails are so common.

Use preposition 'in' for places like 'in a safe place'. 'Digitalized letters' is awkward; use 'digital letters' or 'electronic messages'. Also 'a very safe place' is fine but 'in a safe place' is more natural.

× Therefore, I feel like every person who gets a handwritten letter keeps it very safely so that when they read it later, it can be a form of nostalgia for them.

✓ Therefore, I feel that everyone who gets a handwritten letter keeps it safe so that when they read it later, it can bring back nostalgia for them.

'Keeps it very safely' is awkward; use 'keeps it safe'. 'Every person' followed by 'they' is acceptable but 'everyone' is smoother. 'A form of nostalgia' is odd; 'bring back nostalgia' or 'evoke nostalgia' is clearer. Also 'I feel like' -> 'I feel that' is more formal and appropriate in this response.

× It honestly depends on the type of place I'm going to.

✓ It honestly depends on the type of place I'm going to.

This sentence is acceptable grammatically; no change needed. However, keep as is. (No grammatical error matching list.)

× Whereas if I'm going to a lecture or if I'm going to a community space where I would like to know more about the place, I would carry a paper and a pen.

✓ If I'm going to a lecture or to a community space where I want to learn more about the place, I would carry a paper and a pen.

'Whereas' at sentence start is unnecessary and awkward; simplify to 'If'. Use 'to a lecture or to a community space' for parallelism. 'Would like to know more about the place' is wordy; 'want to learn more' is clearer. Article: 'a paper' is odd—'a piece of paper' or simply 'paper' is more natural; keep 'a pen'.