Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Speak more fluently and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give 1–2 specific examples using linking words. Correct tense and grammar (use past tense for childhood).

例: Yes. I made many paper crafts when I was a child. For example, I folded paper airplanes and created paper sheep and flowers. I especially enjoyed making airplanes because I could decorate them and see how far they flew.

提案: Give a concise topic sentence, then add one detailed reason or memory. Use linking words (for example, because) and correct grammar (e.g., 'I enjoyed making' and 'airplanes').

例: As a child, I enjoyed making paper crafts, especially animals and flowers. For example, I often folded paper to make airplanes because they were fun to decorate and fly in the playground.

提案: Answer directly and clearly. Use one or two sentences explaining why, with specific reasons and correct grammar (e.g., 'I don't usually write physical letters because...'). Avoid filler words.

例: Not really. I rarely write physical letters because I prefer sending messages by phone or email since they are faster and more convenient.

提案: Give a balanced, coherent answer using linking words (however, although). Provide a specific example and avoid repetitive fillers. Use plural agreement correctly ('most people').

例: I think some older people still keep handwritten letters because they are more familiar with them. However, most people now use phones or email to communicate and rarely keep physical letters.

提案: Structure your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by contrasting details using linking words (for example, but or however). Use present tense and remove filler words.

例: I usually carry paper and a pen only when I expect to do paperwork, such as filling forms or taking notes. However, when I go out for leisure, I don't bring them because I don't need them.

× Yes, I really made many things with paper.

✓ Yes, I made many things out of paper.

Use of 'really made' is redundant and 'with paper' is less natural than 'out of paper' when describing crafts; also tense simplified to past simple 'made'. Use plural 'things' is correct so only phrasing adjusted for naturalness.

× I mostly I I make I remember in my childhood I make I make sheep aeroplane and and flowers with the paper and it was I really enjoyed.

✓ Mostly I remember that in my childhood I made paper sheep, aeroplanes and flowers, and I really enjoyed it.

This sentence mixes present and past tenses and has repetition. The speaker recalls past activities so past simple 'made' is required. Reorder for clarity: 'I remember that in my childhood I made... and I really enjoyed it.' Remove repeated words and use plural 'aeroplanes' for multiple instances.

× I did many things with my paper when I was child.

✓ I did many things with paper when I was a child.

Missing article 'a' before 'child' is required when referring to age. Also 'my paper' is unnatural; use 'paper'. Past simple 'did' is correct because it's about past activities.

× I really enjoyed to make craft with paper such as like to make sheep and flower.

✓ I really enjoyed making crafts with paper, such as sheep and flowers.

English uses gerund after 'enjoy' ('enjoy making'), not infinitive 'to make'. Also use plural 'crafts' and 'flowers' and remove 'such as like' redundancy.

× Sometimes I fold paper to make aeroplane which was uh, most loved by me.

✓ Sometimes I folded paper to make aeroplanes, which were my favourites.

Past tense should be consistent: 'folded' and plural 'aeroplanes' if speaking generally. Use plural 'were' to agree with plural subject. 'Most loved by me' is awkward; 'my favourites' is natural.

× Not really. I never write physical letter, uh, because I mostly used uh, when I want to send a message, uh, uh, you use my phone and computer and uh, now there's no one can use physical letter.

✓ Not really. I never write physical letters, because I usually use my phone or computer when I want to send a message, and now almost no one uses physical letters.

Use plural 'letters'. Maintain present tense 'use' for habitual actions ('I usually use'). 'Used' was incorrect. Replace 'you use my phone' with 'I use my phone'. 'No one can use' should be 'no one uses' for general statement.

× Uh, I think some older people keep handwritten, uh, letters today because, uh, they are not able to, uh, understand how to use the mobile phone and umm, but most of people use phone to communicate with their letters.

✓ I think some older people keep handwritten letters today because they are not able to understand how to use mobile phones, but most people use phones to communicate instead of letters.

Remove unnecessary commas. Use plural 'mobile phones' and 'phones'. 'Most of people' is incorrect; use 'most people'. 'Communicate with their letters' is wrong; use 'communicate instead of letters' or 'communicate by phone'. Pronoun agreement: 'they' refers to 'older people' correctly.

× OK, whenever I go to to do my some paperwork, uh, then I, I had to then I carry paper and pen with me, but whenever I go to somewhere to enjoy then I never carry them.

✓ OK, whenever I go to do some paperwork, I have to carry paper and a pen with me, but when I go somewhere to relax I never carry them.

Remove duplicate 'to'. Use 'do some paperwork' not 'do my some paperwork'. For obligation use 'have to' rather than past 'had to' for habitual present. Include article 'a' before 'pen'. 'Go somewhere to enjoy' is unnatural; use 'go somewhere to relax'.