Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答要更自然、语法更准确，并避免重复。可以用一句主题句直接回答，然后用1–2句具体细节描述事件（例如比赛时间、飞机设计或为何失败），并使用连接词使句子更流畅。注意时态一致和拼写（e.g. "competition"）。

例: Yes. I made a paper aeroplane in secondary school and even entered it into a school competition. Unfortunately, it started to lose altitude halfway through the flight because the wings were slightly unbalanced, so it fell and I didn’t win.

提案: 回答需用过去时（描述童年），并更明确和简洁地表达观点。先给出总体回答，再用1–2句具体细节说明你做什么、什么时候做、以及结果或影响。避免语法错误和重复。

例: As a child I enjoyed folding paper into toys, especially aeroplanes, and flying them with classmates after school. Sometimes this disturbed other students who preferred to relax quietly, so our teacher asked us to play outside instead.

提案: 注意时态和用词一致：描述现在用现在时，过去或将来用相应时态。避免重复词（例如 "actually"）。先直接回答是否写信，然后提供具体情景（如写明信件类型、频率或原因）。

例: No, I rarely write physical letters now because email and messaging are much more convenient. However, when I travel I sometimes buy and send postcards to family because they feel personal and meaningful.

提案: 回答要更有条理并语法准确。先给出总体观点，再用连接词（however, because）补充理由或例子。注意主谓一致和词汇搭配（e.g. "most people enjoy"）。

例: Some people still keep handwritten letters for sentimental reasons, but most people prefer online communication such as email or messaging because it is faster and more convenient.

提案: 回答较清晰但可更简练并注意语法。先直接回答是否携带，然后说明原因并给出具体场景（例如签名、记笔记）。可用一两句举例。避免冗长重复。

例: I don't usually carry paper, but I always bring a pen because I often need to sign documents or jot down quick notes. For example, if I forget something in a shop I can quickly write it down.

× Yeah, I've made a paper aeroplane when I was at secondary school and I used it to join a competition but unluckily it it dropped down at the middle of the computation so I failed the competition.

✓ Yeah, I made a paper aeroplane when I was at secondary school and I used it to enter a competition, but unfortunately it dropped in the middle of the competition so I failed.

句子中使用了现在完成时“I've made”与明确的过去时间状语“when I was at secondary school”冲突，应使用一般过去时。另有拼写错误（computation→competition）和多余重复词（it it）。建议：有明确过去时间时用一般过去时；检查拼写与重复单词。

× I like to use paper to make different scenes like airplanes and fly with my classmates after class, but actually it disturbs many other classmates that they just want to relax and after class.

✓ I liked using paper to make different things like aeroplanes and fly them with my classmates after class, but it actually disturbed other classmates who just wanted to relax after class.

原句时态混杂（现在时与过去情境冲突），且结构不自然。问题主要是时态和从句关系词使用不当。建议：如果叙述过去习惯，用过去时；用who引导定语从句修饰people，保持时态一致。

× Actually I don't write any physical letters nowadays because email is very convenient to us nowadays. But actually I would like to write some postcard when I was travelling around the world because I think it's meaningful.

✓ Actually I don't write any physical letters nowadays because email is very convenient. But I would like to write some postcards when I travel around the world because I think it's meaningful.

第一句重复使用nowadays且不需“to us”；第二句时态混乱（would like + when I was travelling 表达不当），并且postcard需要复数或冠词。建议：现在一般情况用现在时（travel），表达愿望用 would like + 不定式；注意名词复数形式。

× I think some people will use handwriting letters today but most of people enjoying online communication centers email or message today because it's really convenient, it saves us a lot of time.

✓ I think some people still write handwritten letters today, but most people enjoy online communication such as email or messages because it's really convenient and saves us a lot of time.

原句代词与动词形式错误（handwriting letters 应为 handwritten letters 或 write handwritten letters；most of people 应为 most people；enjoying 用法不当）。并且“centers”用错。建议：注意形容词/动词形式的选择，保持主谓一致，使用短语 such as 来列举例子。

× I actually don't take paper with me but I would like to take pen with me because there's always something that I should sign or take a little note about it. So I think a pen is necessary, but I don't like to take paper because it's too big for me to take.

✓ I actually don't take paper with me, but I always take a pen because there's often something I need to sign or make a quick note about. So I think a pen is necessary, but I don't like to carry paper because it's too bulky.

句子重复使用take造成不自然，时态和表达需简化。原句中“there's always something that I should sign or take a little note about it”有冗余代词和不自然搭配。建议：使用常见搭配 take/carry a pen/paper, make a note, 避免重复代词（about it）。