Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatical, concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence, use correct tense, and add one specific detail. Avoid redundant phrases. For example, say you made crafts at school, explain what you sold and where.

例: Yes. I made many paper crafts at school and sold them at a small market during our annual fair. I mostly made folded animals and cards, and I earned a little money from classmates and teachers.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, and add one specific detail about why you enjoyed it. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid vague phrases like “it was very satisfied.”

例: I enjoyed making paper airplanes as a child because it was fun and social. I would fold different designs and compete with classmates to see whose plane flew the farthest, which made break time more exciting.

提案: Answer directly with correct tense and clearer reasons. Use linking words (however, because) and concise phrasing. Mention a specific example of digital alternatives.

例: No, I rarely write physical letters because digital messaging is much faster and more convenient. For example, I usually send messages or emails to family instead of writing by hand.

提案: Be more specific and grammatical. Start with a clear opinion, provide a reason and an example, and use linking words. Avoid vague phrases like “short memory.”

例: Some people, especially older generations, still keep handwritten letters because they value the memories and personal touch. For instance, my grandmother saved birthday cards and letters from relatives as cherished keepsakes.

提案: Make the answer concise and grammatical. State the reason clearly and give a specific example of what you use them for. Use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I usually carry a notebook and a pen because I often need to take notes for work or jot down ideas. For example, I record meeting points and shopping lists on the go.

× Of course I have when I was at school, we had a small market when I been sold in all my crafts.

✓ Of course I have. When I was at school, we had a small market where I sold all my crafts.

The sentence mixes present perfect 'have' with a past time clause and uses incorrect past participle 'been sold'. Use simple past 'sold' for a specific past time ('when I was at school') and split into two sentences for clarity. Also replace 'when' with 'where' to indicate location of the market.

× Yes, I liked to do some small planes and throw it to my classmates and it was like a small airport in our class.

✓ Yes, I liked making small paper planes and throwing them to my classmates; it was like a small airport in our classroom.

Use the -ing form 'making' and 'throwing' after 'liked' to express activities. 'Planes' should be described as 'paper planes'. 'It' incorrectly refers to plural 'planes', so use 'them'. 'Class' is better as 'classroom' here. Use a semicolon or separate clauses to improve flow.

× It was very satisfied again.

✓ It was very satisfying.

'Satisfied' is an adjective describing a person; 'satisfying' describes an experience. 'Again' is unnecessary and unclear in context, so remove it. Use 'very satisfying' to convey the feeling.

× I don't because now it's a new technology and now we can send letters just for click the bottom in our messengers.

✓ I don't, because now we have new technology and we can send messages with just a click in our messaging apps.

Use present simple 'have' for possession of technology. 'Send letters' is better as 'send messages' in this context. 'Just for click the bottom' is incorrect; use the noun 'click' and 'button' and say 'with just a click'. 'Messengers' should be 'messaging apps'.

× So it now it was it isn't as hard as it was in the past.

✓ So now it isn't as hard as it was in the past.

Remove redundant words 'it now it was'. Use present contraction 'isn't' to compare current difficulty with the past. Keep one clear clause: 'Now it isn't as hard as it was in the past.'

× Maybe our grannies are keeping writing letters now because it was a short memory in this letter.

✓ Maybe our grandmothers are still writing letters because the letters hold short memories.

'Grannies' is informal; 'grandmothers' is more standard. 'Are keeping writing' is ungrammatical; use 'are still writing' or 'still write'. 'It was a short memory in this letter' incorrectly uses 'it' and tense; clarify that 'the letters hold short memories' or 'preserve memories'.

× So I think it's good alternative to memorizing

✓ So I think it's a good alternative for preserving memories.

Add the article 'a' before 'good alternative'. 'Memorizing' is the wrong verb; use 'preserving memories' or 'remembering' depending on meaning. Use preposition 'for' to indicate purpose.

× Yes, I do because I have a lot of work instead of my home so I need to write some paper and write some homework and work.

✓ Yes, I do, because I have a lot of work away from home, so I need to take paper to write my homework and work notes.

'Paper' should be plural or 'some paper' clarified; use 'take paper' or 'bring paper'. 'Instead of my home' is incorrect; use 'away from home'. Combine and clarify purpose: 'write my homework and work notes.'

× So I need pen and papers.

✓ So I need a pen and some paper.

'Pen' needs an article 'a'. 'Papers' as a general material is better as uncountable 'paper' or 'some paper'. Use 'a pen and some paper' for natural English.