Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clear and concise. Start with a direct topic sentence stating whether you made paper crafts, then add one or two specific examples and a brief detail. Avoid filler words and incorrect pronouns. Use correct tense and articles.

例: Yes. When I was a child I often made paper flowers. For example, I used colored tissue paper to make roses for my mother on Mother’s Day, which she kept on display.

提案: Answer directly and organize your response. Start with a clear topic sentence about your favourite activities, then give two specific examples with brief explanations. Use correct verb forms and linking words (for example, also, and).

例: I liked making cards and simple paper toys as a child. For example, I folded paper frogs that could hop, and I also made heart-shaped cards for friends on special occasions.

提案: Be complete and precise. State clearly how often and for whom you write letters, and give one reason. Avoid incomplete sentences and vague phrases. Use linking words like because to connect reason and result.

例: Yes, I still write physical letters occasionally. I usually write them for family birthdays and for my boyfriend’s anniversary because handwritten notes feel more personal and meaningful.

提案: Provide a direct opinion with a clear reason and an example. Avoid hesitations like "umm" and repetitions. Use linking words (for example, because, so) and a concise supporting detail about emotional value or examples of occasions.

例: Yes, many people still keep handwritten letters because they carry emotional value. For instance, I keep the letters I received on my graduation because they remind me of my friends’ support.

提案: Give a clear direct answer and a concise reason. Avoid confused phrases and repetitions. Mention what you carry instead and one simple reason, using correct grammar and linking words.

例: No, I don’t usually carry paper and pens. I tend to bring my iPad because it is more convenient and lighter to carry than a stack of notebooks and pens.

× This guy when I was well, I made a paper flowers with paper.

✓ When I was well, I made paper flowers.

The original has extra words and incorrect article and plural use. 'This guy' is irrelevant and likely a misphrase; remove it. 'A paper flowers' mixes singular article with plural noun; use 'paper flowers' or 'a paper flower'. The sentence structure should be 'When I was [age/young], I made paper flowers.' Use a clear time phrase instead of 'well.'

× I'd like to make a card and also I like to make something like frogs and what girl I like made too is heart.

✓ I liked to make cards, and I also liked to make things like frogs and hearts that girls liked to make.

Tense and person are inconsistent. 'I'd like' (would like) doesn't match past context; use 'I liked' for past habits. Plural forms and word order need fixing: 'a card' -> 'cards' for general past habit; 'something like frogs' -> 'things like frogs'; 'what girl I like made too is heart' is ungrammatical—rephrase to 'hearts that girls liked to make.' This fixes subject-verb agreement, plurality, and word order.

× Yes I do. I think I write physical letters when my family or friends have a birthday and something like anniversary for my boyfriend. I like bright letter because.

✓ Yes, I do. I write physical letters when my family or friends have birthdays and for anniversaries for my boyfriend. I like bright letters.

Use simple present for habitual actions: 'I write' is correct. Pluralize countable nouns: 'birthdays' and 'anniversaries.' 'A birthday' is fine for one occasion, but 'when ... have birthdays' implies recurring events. 'Something like anniversary' is awkward; use 'for anniversaries.' 'I like bright letter because' is incomplete and 'letter' should be plural when speaking generally: 'I like bright letters.' Provide a reason if needed.

× Tutor because I think handwritten letters have something meaningful. Umm, because when I get some handwritten letter I feel touched.

✓ Yes, because I think handwritten letters are meaningful. When I receive a handwritten letter, I feel touched.

Start with a direct answer to the question. 'Handwritten letters have something meaningful' is awkward—use 'are meaningful.' 'When I get some handwritten letter' should be 'When I receive a handwritten letter' or 'When I receive handwritten letters.' Use consistent article and verb choice: 'receive' is more natural than 'get' in this context.

× The Kiwi I don't I tend to tattoo carry my iPad more than paper and pens because iPad is more iPad is not heavier than paper and.

✓ No, I don't. I tend to carry my iPad rather than paper and pens because the iPad is lighter than carrying many sheets of paper and several pens.

The original is confused with extraneous words ('The Kiwi', 'tattoo') and repetition. Answer the yes/no question directly: 'No, I don't.' Use 'carry my iPad rather than paper and pens' for comparison. 'iPad is more iPad is not heavier than paper' is ungrammatical; clarify with 'the iPad is lighter than carrying many sheets of paper and several pens.' Use articles properly ('the iPad').