Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more fluent and concise: avoid filler words (uh) and correct minor grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific examples and a brief reason. Use linking words if adding details.

例: Yes, I have. As a child I often made simple paper crafts such as origami animals and paper balls because I enjoyed creating things by hand. For example, I would fold cranes and make little paper flowers to decorate my room.

提案: Correct vocabulary mistakes and avoid unnecessary repetition. Give a clear topic sentence, then a linked reason and a brief specific example. Watch word choice (e.g., 'liars' is incorrect).

例: I liked making paper animals, boats and flowers when I was a child because we had fewer digital devices. For instance, my friends and I would spend afternoons folding paper boats and racing them in puddles.

提案: Good response: clear and relevant. To improve, tighten phrasing and use one linking phrase to connect ideas. Also correct tense/number agreement and small wording: 'I care' instead of 'I cared'.

例: Yes, but not often. I occasionally write a short handwritten card when I give someone a gift because I want to show I care and make the gift feel more personal.

提案: Solid answer with clear reasons and example. Remove the stray fragment at the end and add a linking word to improve coherence. Be specific about which letters and why they are kept.

例: Yes, some people still keep handwritten letters, especially those with sentimental value. For example, people often save letters from family members or old friends because they carry personal memories that digital messages lack.

提案: Short and direct but fix small grammar and word-form errors. Use a linking word to explain and give a brief specific instance of when you might still carry paper and pen.

例: Not usually. I normally use my phone to take notes because it's more convenient and quicker, although I sometimes carry a small notebook when I attend meetings or workshops.

× I wasn't particular good at it, but I enjoyed.

✓ I wasn't particularly good at it, but I enjoyed it.

The original uses the adjective 'particular' where the adverb 'particularly' is required to modify the adjective 'good'. Also the clause 'but I enjoyed' is incomplete; add 'it' to show what was enjoyed. Suggestion: use adverbs to modify adjectives and finish phrasal objects when needed.

× Back then we didn't have digital devices for entertainment, so doing crafts was a common way for children liars to spend time together.

✓ Back then we didn't have digital devices for entertainment, so doing crafts was a common way for children to spend time together.

The word 'liars' is incorrect and unrelated; the correct pronoun/noun phrase is 'children'. This appears to be a lexical error rather than a grammar rule, but it affects meaning. Suggestion: remove the erroneous word and keep 'children' to match the intended meaning.

× I occasionally write a short handwritten card when I give someone a gift because I want to show that I cared and made the gift feel more personal.

✓ I occasionally write a short handwritten card when I give someone a gift because I want to show that I care and make the gift feel more personal.

The sentence mixes present-time actions with past tense verbs 'cared' and 'made'. Use present tense 'care' and 'make' to match 'write' and 'give', which are present habitual actions. Suggestion: keep verb tenses consistent within the same time frame.

× For example, they might keep letters from family members, close friends, or someone special, even though people communicate mostly online nowadays. A handwritten line.

✓ For example, they might keep letters from family members, close friends, or someone special, even though people communicate mostly online nowadays, such as a handwritten line.

The fragment 'A handwritten line.' is a sentence fragment lacking a verb and connection to the previous sentence. It should be integrated into the preceding sentence or expanded into a full sentence with subject and verb. Suggestion: combine fragments with the previous sentence or rewrite into a complete sentence.

× Not really, I normally use my phone to take notes because it's more convenient and quickly.

✓ Not really, I normally use my phone to take notes because it's more convenient and quicker.

The adverb 'quickly' is incorrect here because it modifies a verb; the intended comparison is between adjectives describing 'convenient' and 'quick', so 'quicker' is the correct comparative adjective. Alternatively, restructure: 'because it's more convenient and faster' or 'because it's more convenient and more quick to use'. Suggestion: use parallel adjective forms when comparing features of a noun.