Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatical, concise and specific. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., "Yes, I often made paper crafts as a child."), then give one or two specific examples using past tense and linking words. Reduce fillers (uh, um) and avoid unclear phrases like "made bought."

例: Yes, I often made paper crafts when I was a child. For example, I folded small paper boats and launched them on puddles after it rained, and I also made a spinning toy by cutting and folding paper into a pinwheel. These activities were fun and kept me busy on rainy days.

提案: Answer directly and use clear grammar and pronouns. Use present simple to describe current habits and give a concise reason with one example. Avoid repeating words and filler sounds.

例: Yes, I still write physical letters. I prefer them because a handwritten note feels personal and shows I care; for example, I often write a thank-you letter to close friends on their birthdays, which makes them feel appreciated.

提案: Give a direct opinion, then support it with clear reasons and an example. Use linking words (because, for example, therefore). Be specific about who keeps letters and why.

例: Yes, many people still keep handwritten letters because they serve as sentimental keepsakes. For example, parents often save their children's letters and cards as memories, and couples preserve notes from special occasions to remember their relationship.

提案: Be concise and natural: state the habit, give a clear reason and a brief example. Use present simple for habits and reduce hesitation words. Avoid overgeneralizing ("vital for everyone") unless you justify it.

例: Yes, I usually carry a small notebook and a pen when I go out because I often need to jot down phone numbers or quick ideas. For example, if I meet someone and want to exchange contact details, I write them down immediately.

提案: Use past tense consistently and give clear, specific descriptions of activities. Begin with a topic sentence, then add one or two detailed examples with linking words. Remove hesitations and correct awkward phrases ("small boards" -> "little boats").

例: As a child, I enjoyed making paper crafts. For example, I used to fold little paper boats and float them in puddles on rainy days, and I also made spinning toys by cutting a circle and attaching it to a stick to create a simple pinwheel.

× When I was a child, I usually make a paper craft, uh, for example, I made bought, uh, with paper and usually a drop it into a water so it will float on the water.

✓ When I was a child, I usually made paper crafts; for example, I made boats with paper and usually dropped them into the water so they would float.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses and misuses verb forms. 'Usually make' should be past 'usually made' to match 'When I was a child'. 'Made bought' is incorrect; likely intended 'made boats'. 'A drop it into a water' has wrong verbs and articles; use 'dropped them into the water'. 'Will' should be past 'would' to match past narrative. Suggestion: keep past tense consistent, use correct noun plural 'crafts' when habitual, and correct verb forms and articles.

× And other craft I make is a tic tac toy with the paper.

✓ Another craft I made was a tic-tac toy from paper.

The speaker switches tenses and uses incorrect noun phrases. 'Other craft I make' should be 'Another craft I made' to match past context. Use 'was' for past simple and 'from paper' or 'made of paper' for correct preposition. Also hyphenate 'tic-tac' and use 'another' for countable singular.

× Well, absolutely. I love to write physical letters because I express, uh, our emotions to someone.

✓ Well, absolutely. I love to write physical letters because I can express my emotions to someone.

The original mixes pronouns and lacks an auxiliary. 'I express our emotions' is incorrect: 'our' doesn't match 'I'; use 'my'. Adding 'can' makes the purpose clear. Maintain present tense as the preference is general.

× So I usually prefer to write uh, something because it made, uh, made uh, feel special to the other person also.

✓ So I usually prefer to write something because it makes the other person feel special.

The sentence incorrectly uses past 'made' while the speaker is describing a habitual present preference. Use present 'makes' and correct word order 'feel special' and avoid repetition. Also remove redundant 'also' or place appropriately.

× And they, uh, know the importance of uh, them in my life.

✓ And they know their importance in my life.

Using 'them' after 'the importance of' is awkward and unclear. 'Their importance' succinctly refers back to the letters. Also 'they' (the letters) is acceptable; ensure pronoun agreement and clarity.

× Of course, I think people still keep handwritten letters, uh, nowadays, umm, because it, uh, remember, uh, themselves that they are important, uh, for them.

✓ Of course, I think people still keep handwritten letters nowadays because they remind them that they are important to someone.

The original misuses 'remember' with wrong subject; 'letters remind them' is correct. 'Important for them' should be 'important to someone' or 'important to them'. Also remove filler words and keep present tense for general truth.

× So I think, uh, for a memory and uh.

✓ So I think they keep them as memories.

The fragment lacks a main verb and is incomplete. Provide a complete clause: 'they keep them as memories.' This uses correct noun and verb forms to express the idea.

× Absolutely. I love to carry pen and paper with me because, uh, anytime I, uh, I just note something, uh, for example, if I want anybody's number, so I usually write it on the paper and using pen.

✓ Absolutely. I love to carry a pen and paper with me because anytime I need to note something, for example, if I want someone's number, I usually write it on paper using a pen.

Errors: missing articles ('a pen'), awkward verb forms ('I just note something' -> 'I need to note something'), wrong pronoun 'anybody's' -> 'someone's', and incorrect gerund phrase 'and using pen' -> 'using a pen' or integrate into main clause. Maintain present simple for habits.

× So I think it is uh, vital for everyone to carry pen and paper with them.

✓ So I think it is vital for everyone to carry a pen and paper with them.

Add article 'a' before 'pen' for correct countable noun usage. Pronoun 'them' is acceptable as singular generic but could be 'themselves' — both are possible. Ensure articles with countable nouns.

× Well, I made a papercraft with paper.

✓ Well, I made papercrafts out of paper.

'A papercraft with paper' is redundant; 'papercrafts out of paper' or 'paper crafts' is clearer. Use plural if referring to multiple items and match past tense 'made'.

× For example, I made small boards with paper, uh, usually in a rainy day and put it, put it them into water so they would float.

✓ For example, I made small boats out of paper, usually on rainy days, and put them into the water so they would float.

Use 'boats' not 'boards' given context, 'out of paper' is correct preposition, time expression 'on rainy days' not 'in a rainy day', pronoun agreement 'them' with plural 'boats', and include 'the' before water for specificity.

× And another thing I like is spinning paper game.

✓ Another thing I liked was a spinning paper game.

Maintain past tense 'liked' to match childhood context. Use article 'a' before 'spinning paper game' and adjust word order for natural phrasing. Alternatively, in present: 'Another thing I like is a spinning paper game.'