Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, use correct tense and grammar, add a clear topic sentence and one or two specific details. Avoid fillers (uh) and redundant phrases. Use linking words for clarity.

例: Yes. When I was in primary school my teacher showed us how to make paper crafts. For example, we folded paper to make animals and paper flowers, and sometimes decorated them with paint and glue.

提案: Start with a direct answer, correct awkward phrasing, and give a brief specific reason or example. Avoid repetition and finish your sentence. Use linking words such as "because" or "for example."

例: Not often, but I still write physical letters for official matters. For example, legal documents or university transcripts often require signed hard copies, because they are more reliable than digital files.

提案: Give a clear opinion and support it with a specific, coherent reason. Avoid unclear phrases and numbers that don't fit. Use linking words like "because" and provide a short example.

例: Yes, some people keep handwritten letters because they are sentimental. For example, older couples often save letters from their youth to remember special moments and to see how their personalities changed over time.

提案: Answer directly, use correct grammar and shorter sentences, and give one or two specific situations when you use them. Use linking words like "because" or "for example."

例: Yes, I usually carry a small notebook and a pen. For example, I write down phone numbers, shopping lists, or quick reminders because it helps me avoid forgetting important information.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence in past tense, avoid fillers, and give one or two specific examples and brief reason why you enjoyed it. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: As a child I loved making paper crafts. For instance, I often folded paper boats and airplanes and also made paper flowers. I enjoyed it because it was creative and I could play with the things I made.

× In my childhood days when I studied at primary school, my teacher, uh, teach us to made some handicrafts with use of papers and other materials that can create something like animals or flowers.

✓ In my childhood, when I studied at primary school, my teacher taught us to make handicrafts using paper and other materials to create things like animals or flowers.

The sentence contains multiple past tense errors: 'teach' should be past tense 'taught' to match 'studied' and 'made' is incorrect after 'to' (infinitive) so it should be 'make'. Also 'with use of papers' is awkward; 'using paper' is correct. Use consistent past tense for completed actions and correct verb forms after 'to'. Suggestion: Use past simple for past events and use the base verb after 'to' (infinitive).

× In the current days, physical letters are very important.

✓ Nowadays, physical letters are still very important.

'In the current days' is unidiomatic; 'nowadays' or 'these days' is correct. The simple present 'are' is acceptable but revise wording for naturalness. Suggestion: Use common time expressions like 'nowadays' for present habitual situations.

× Like some files we need uh, physical letters, not a soft copy from the Internet or in the browse.

✓ For some documents we need physical letters, not a soft copy from the Internet or from a browser.

The word 'files' is okay but 'documents' is more precise here. 'a soft copy from the Internet or in the browse' is incorrect; 'from a browser' or 'from the internet' is correct. Also 'the browse' is wrong. Suggestion: Use 'from' with source nouns and choose precise words like 'documents' and 'browser'.

× But physical letters are still very important and we need to write to the.

✓ But physical letters are still very important and we still need to write them.

The phrase 'write to the' is incomplete and ungrammatical. The intended meaning is likely 'write them' (write physical letters). Suggestion: Complete the object of 'write' and avoid leaving sentences unfinished.

× I think some people keeping the handwritten letters today because they can imagine the past, all days of their lifetime and being a wonderful 110, you can see what your personality about.

✓ I think some people keep handwritten letters today because they can recall the past and their life, and these letters are wonderful; you can see their personality in them.

'Keeping' should be simple present 'keep' for habitual action. 'Imagine the past' is unnatural; 'recall the past' or 'remember the past' is better. 'All days of their lifetime' → 'their life'. 'Being a wonderful 110' is unintelligible; replaced with 'these letters are wonderful'. 'what your personality about' → 'their personality in them'. Suggestion: Use simple present for habits and clearer nouns/phrases to express meaning.

× Personally I carry some papers and pen because if I need to write down something like numbers or an sentence I written down in the paper and it very accurate and very helpful for me that bringing some papers and pen when I go out it's important thing that I have everyday.

✓ Personally, I carry some paper and a pen because if I need to write down something like numbers or a sentence, I write it on paper. It is very useful and accurate for me, so bringing paper and a pen when I go out is important and something I have every day.

Multiple tense and article errors: 'papers and pen' → 'paper and a pen' (singular uncountable 'paper' or 'papers' with 'a pen'); 'an sentence' → 'a sentence'; 'I written down' → 'I write it down' (present habit); 'it very accurate' → 'it is very useful/accurate'; sentence fragments need linking. Suggestion: Use simple present for habits, correct articles ('a/an'), and ensure verbs agree with subject.

× When I was a child, I like to do the pay I like to do to the paper by, uh, creating some crafts like, uh, flower, uh, boats and airplanes.

✓ When I was a child, I liked to play with paper by creating crafts like flowers, boats, and airplanes.

'I like' should be past 'I liked' to match 'When I was a child'. 'do the pay' is unclear; likely 'play with paper'. 'flower' should be plural 'flowers' when listing. Use correct past tense and clearer verb choices. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent and use accurate verbs ('play with paper', 'create crafts').

× It made my childhood memories completed because I can create those things that paper equipment only.

✓ It completed my childhood memories because I could create those things using only paper and simple materials.

Tense and structure problems: 'made my childhood memories completed' is ungrammatical; use 'completed my childhood memories' or better 'completed my childhood'. 'I can create' should be past 'I could create'. 'paper equipment only' is unclear; 'using only paper and simple materials' is clearer. Suggestion: Match past tense for past experiences and use clear nouns ('materials').