Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 発音や文法の誤りを修正し、話の主旨（いつ、何を、誰のために作ったか）を明確に短い文で述べる練習をしてください。接続詞や時制を正しく使い、冗長な表現を避けるとより自然に聞こえます。具体的には「I made origami in junior high to send to people in Hiroshima.」のように主題文→補足（目的・時期）という構成を使い、1文は長くても3節以内に収めましょう。

例: Yes. When I was in junior high school, I made origami cranes to send to people in Hiroshima as a gesture of support.

提案: 良い内容ですが、より自然に聞かせるために語順や冠詞、比較表現を整え、冗長な語を減らしてください。また短い理由を1〜2点に絞ってつなぎ語（because / since / as）で結ぶと論理的になります。発音で“physically”や“compared to”に注意しましょう。

例: Yes, I still write physical letters. I find them more personal than messages on a smartphone because handwriting shows my feelings and I can spend more time choosing words.

提案: 意見を述べるときは確信の表現を整理し、主語と動詞の一致を確認してください（e.g. "I believe that many people still keep handwritten letters"). その後に理由を1〜2つ具体的に述べ、接続詞（because / so）でつなぐと明確になります。

例: I believe many people still keep handwritten letters because they serve as personal memories and can remind them of how they felt at the time.

提案: 理由を簡潔にし、不要な語を削る練習をしてください。例えば、"No, because I use my phone for notes and it is more convenient than carrying paper and pens."のように一文または二文で完結させると自然です。'covering'は不適切なので使わないでください。

例: No, I don't. I usually use my phone for notes and it is more convenient than carrying paper and pens.

提案: 時制と動詞の形（used to draw）、表現の明確化（絵を描くことが好きだった・今も興味がある）を練習してください。冗長な説明を避け、理由や現状の興味を1文ずつで述べるとよいです。

例: I used to draw on paper a lot when I was a child because I enjoyed creating pictures. I don't draw as much now, but I'm interested in starting again.

× Yes I have when I was a junior high school students, I vote the paper and making and made the in Japanese to serve to serve them to Hiroshima.

✓ Yes, I did when I was a junior high school student. I folded paper and made origami in Japanese style to give to people in Hiroshima.

The sentence has multiple noun-number errors and general structure problems. 'Students' should be singular 'student' to match 'I'. Use past simple 'did' instead of 'have' because the time is specified ('when I was...'). 'Vote the paper' is incorrect word choice; the intended verb is likely 'fold' (fold paper). 'Making and made the in Japanese' is ungrammatical; rephrase as 'made origami in Japanese style'. 'To serve to serve them to Hiroshima' is unclear and likely means 'to give to people in Hiroshima'. Suggestion: keep subject and noun numbers consistent, choose correct verbs (fold, make), and simplify to clear past-tense clauses.

× I yes, I really write a letter physically because by doing this I can express my feelings more compared to writing on the smartphone. It's beneficial for me.

✓ Yes. I still write letters by hand because doing so lets me express my feelings more than writing on a smartphone. It's beneficial for me.

The original mixes present habits with awkward word order. 'I yes,' should be 'Yes.' 'Write a letter physically' is odd; use 'write letters by hand'. 'By doing this I can' is acceptable but 'doing so lets me' is smoother. Use comparative 'more than' instead of 'more compared to'. Maintain present simple for habitual actions.

× If I believe that individual have still handwriting written letters because it is memory for all people that reminds them of the feelings at the moment.

✓ I believe that individuals still keep handwritten letters because they are memories that remind people of their feelings at the time.

Number agreement errors: 'individual' should be plural 'individuals' to match 'have', and 'handwriting written letters' is redundant—use 'handwritten letters'. 'It is memory for all people' should be plural 'they are memories' and 'the feelings at the moment' becomes 'their feelings at the time'. Use present simple 'believe' and 'keep' for general statements.

× No I don't because I have my phone so if anything happens I can utilize it and. Covering the papers and pens is less convenient.

✓ No, I don't because I have my phone, so if anything happens I can use it. Carrying paper and pens is less convenient.

Tense is present simple for habitual action. 'Utilize it and.' is incomplete and awkward; 'use it' is simpler. 'Covering the papers and pens' is incorrect verb choice; 'carrying paper and pens' is appropriate. Ensure sentences are complete and punctuation is correct.

× I used to drawing on the paper when I was a child because I enjoyed writing something on the paper, but the picture was out now. I'm interested in doing it now.

✓ I used to draw on paper when I was a child because I enjoyed writing and drawing on it, but I don't do it now. I'm interested in doing it again.

After 'used to' the base verb 'draw' is required, not 'drawing'. 'Writing something on the paper' is wordy; 'writing and drawing on it' is clearer. 'The picture was out now' is contradictory and ungrammatical; change to 'I don't do it now'. Maintain past habit with 'used to' and present interest with 'I'm interested in doing it again'.