Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific examples using correct vocabulary (e.g., 'vases', 'paper'). Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid redundancy.

例: Yes, I have. At school I often made paper crafts such as origami cars and paper vases. For example, I remember folding a small paper car step by step, which was both fun and creative.

提案: Make your answer direct and relevant. State clearly whether you still write letters and give one specific reason or context (e.g., study or formal paperwork). Keep sentences short and coherent, using linking words like 'because' or 'for example'.

例: Yes, I still write physical letters occasionally because my studies require signed documents. For example, I sometimes need to submit a handwritten consent form for university purposes.

提案: Avoid absolute statements and be more balanced. Begin with a clear opinion, then give a specific reason and an exception if applicable. Use accurate vocabulary (e.g., 'outdated', 'digital communication') and cohesive devices like 'however' or 'for example'.

例: I think handwritten letters are becoming less common because people prefer digital messaging for speed and convenience. However, some people still keep letters for sentimental reasons, such as family heirlooms.

提案: Give a clear direct answer and one concise reason. Correct grammar and word choice: 'fourth year' instead of 'fourth grade', 'wear' or 'use tablets and computers'. Use linking words like 'because' to connect ideas.

例: No, I usually don't carry paper and pens because I use a tablet or laptop for my university work. For instance, I take notes on my tablet during lectures, so I don't need loose paper.

提案: Be specific and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one vivid example and describe the feeling briefly. Use correct nouns and avoid repetition ('planes' not 'plains').

例: As a child, I loved making paper planes and drawing aircraft. I used to spend hours folding different designs and testing which flew best, and it made me very happy.

× that was at school when we were a child and especially created some pictures or vasals or cars with the piper of these constructions named like origami

✓ That was at school when we were children, and especially we created some pictures or vases or cars with paper in constructions called origami

The sentence uses 'we were a child' which mixes plural subject 'we' with singular 'a child' (singular/plural issue). Also 'vasals' is incorrect for 'vases' and 'piper' should be 'paper'. Correct by matching plurality: 'we were children'. Use correct plural nouns and clearer word order. Suggestion: ensure subject and noun forms agree and replace misspelled words with correct forms. (Grammar problem type ID: 1)

× I can directly say yes and for me it's inevitable to do things for that I'm studying now and it's my not a goal.

✓ I can say yes directly, and for me it is inevitable to do these things because I am studying now, although it is not my goal

The original mixes awkward tense and word order and uses 'it's my not a goal' which is ungrammatical. The issue concerns present tense usage and sentence structure. Reorder to present tense continuous 'I am studying now' and use 'these things' for plural reference. Suggestion: use clear subject-verb-object order and correct contractions: 'it is not my goal'. (Grammar problem type ID: 6)

× It's my direct responsibility to do this.

✓ It is my responsibility to do this

Sentence is understandable but 'direct responsibility' is unnecessary and awkward here; this is a sentence structure/style issue. Simplify to 'It is my responsibility to do this'. Suggestion: prefer concise phrasing and correct article use when needed. (Grammar problem type ID: 26)

× I think it is obsolete to do such letters to write someone.

✓ I think it is obsolete to write such letters to someone

The phrase 'to do such letters to write someone' misuses infinitives and prepositions. This is an incorrect preposition/phrase structure issue. Use 'write letters to someone' or 'send such letters to someone'. Suggestion: use the verb 'write' with direct object 'letters' and preposition 'to' for the recipient. (Grammar problem type ID: 11)

× We are moving to the era of messaging through the telegram, Instagram, or whatever we can do this, like online.

✓ We are moving into the era of messaging through Telegram, Instagram, or other online platforms

The sentence uses 'the telegram' incorrectly and 'whatever we can do this' is a pronoun/reference error and awkward. Pronoun use and reference are incorrect—replace with 'other online platforms' and use 'into the era' rather than 'to the era'. Suggestion: choose correct preposition 'into' and use clear nouns instead of vague pronouns. (Grammar problem type ID: 12)

× Especially I can do this when I go to university but now I'm in fourth grade and for me it's like a strange to bring with me a lot of paper and pens.

✓ I used to do this when I went to university, but now I'm in fourth grade, and it feels strange to bring a lot of paper and pens with me

The sentence has tense and agreement issues; 'it's like a strange' is incorrect adjective use and word order. The core problem relates to third-person singular pattern and general agreement in expressions like 'it is strange'. Use 'it feels strange' or 'it is strange' and correct tense: 'used to do' or 'did this when I went'. Suggestion: maintain consistent tense and use natural expressions: 'it feels strange'. (Grammar problem type ID: 2)

× Why I need to do this?

✓ Why do I need to do this?

Question word order is incorrect; auxiliary 'do' is missing before the subject. This is an incorrect pronoun/structure in questions. Use 'Why do I need to do this?' as the correct subject-auxiliary inversion for present simple questions. Suggestion: for present simple questions use 'do/does' + subject + base verb. (Grammar problem type ID: 12)

× We are working on the tablet horn computers.

✓ We are working on tablets or computers

'tablet horn computers' is meaningless due to wrong word choice; 'the' before plural is unnecessary. This is an article/noun usage problem. Replace with 'tablets or computers' or 'tablet computers'. Suggestion: use correct compound noun 'tablet computers' or separate plurals and avoid unnecessary articles. (Grammar problem type ID: 22)

× What did you like to do with paper as a child? ... Definitely in my childhood, I really liked to draw something, especially it was my obsession to draw planes, make planes plains with the paper and this gave me a lot of joy, brought me joy to my face.

✓ When I was a child, I really liked to draw, especially planes; making paper planes was my obsession, and it gave me a lot of joy

The student mixes past tense forms awkwardly and repeats ideas. Use consistent past tense 'was', 'liked', 'was my obsession', and the noun 'paper planes' (not 'planes plains'). Also 'brought me joy to my face' is unnatural; use 'gave me a lot of joy'. Suggestion: keep simple past tense consistent and use common collocations like 'paper planes' and 'gave me joy'. (Grammar problem type ID: 5)