Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and use correct tense and sentence structure. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No + brief statement), then add one or two specific supporting details with appropriate tense and linking words. Avoid filler sounds and repetition.

例: Yes. I used to make paper planes as a child and it became one of my favourite hobbies around the age of three or four. In fact, I still enjoy folding simple models today because it helps me relax and be creative.

提案: Answer directly and correct grammar (use past/present appropriately). Use a linking word to contrast past and present, and give a brief reason. Avoid informal fillers like 'MMM' and 'kinda'.

例: No, I don't. When I was about ten I sometimes wrote letters to my sister who lived abroad, but now I find letter-writing slow and less convenient compared with email or messaging apps.

提案: Clarify your idea and use specific examples. Begin with a clear opinion, then explain and give a concrete reason or example. Use correct articles and noun forms.

例: Some people still keep handwritten letters, especially for special occasions like weddings or condolences. For example, many families save welcome notes, birthday cards or old love letters because they feel more personal and meaningful than digital messages.

提案: Good content and relevance. Improve naturalness by removing unclear phrase ('Ask a student') and tightening sentences. Use a clear topic sentence and one reason with a linking word.

例: Yes, I usually carry a pen and a small notebook when I go out, especially to coffee shops, because I often jot down ideas for math or physics problems when inspiration strikes.

提案: Provide one clear topic sentence and a specific supporting detail. Avoid repetition and improve phrasing. Use simple past tense consistently and add a brief reason or memory.

例: As a child I loved folding paper into shapes, especially paper planes and cats. I enjoyed experimenting with different folds and showing my creations to friends, which felt very satisfying.

× I usually make some planes with paper when I was a child and it is one of my favorite hobby when I was like about 3 or 4 years old and I really love it today.

✓ I usually made paper planes when I was a child; it was one of my favorite hobbies when I was about three or four years old, and I still love it today.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly. Use past tense 'made' and 'was' to refer to childhood actions and 'hobbies' (plural) to match count; keep 'still love' in present to indicate continuing feeling. Also use a semicolon or separate clauses to improve sentence structure. Grammar problem type ID: 6.

× MMM no I'm not. When I was 10 years old sometimes I write a physical letters and send it to my sister from another country.

✓ No, I don't. When I was ten years old I sometimes wrote physical letters and sent them to my sister in another country.

The speaker uses present tense 'write' and 'send' while referring to past events. Change to past tense 'wrote' and 'sent'. Use 'them' to match plural 'letters' and 'in another country' is more natural than 'from'. Also use 'don't' rather than 'I'm not' to answer the initial question. Grammar problem type ID: 5.

× But now I find it kinda boring and not interesting anymore.

✓ But now I find it kind of boring and not interesting anymore.

'kinda' is informal; replace with 'kind of' for correct register. Tense is present and appropriate; only register and vocabulary were adjusted. Grammar problem type ID: 6.

× Just people always keep handwritten letters today because it is one of the most important welcome letters to everybody, which is made by the hand and it helps the letter looks more comfortable.

✓ Some people still keep handwritten letters today because they can be personal and meaningful; a handwritten letter feels warmer and more comfortable to the reader.

Original has incorrect quantifier 'Just people', wrong article use, awkward relative clause, and subject-verb issues ('helps the letter looks'). Rephrase for clarity: use 'some people' and plural pronouns 'they'; 'feels' matches singular 'a handwritten letter' or use 'they feel' for plural. Avoid 'welcome letters' unless context; 'personal and meaningful' is clearer. Grammar problem type ID: 26.

× Ask a student. I always carry pens and some paper when I hang out with friends or go to the local coffee because it helps me to generate my ideas in math or physics when I need it.

✓ Yes, I do. I always carry pens and some paper when I hang out with friends or go to a local coffee shop because it helps me generate ideas for math or physics when I need them.

'Ask a student' is irrelevant; replace with appropriate short answer. 'local coffee' is incomplete; use 'local coffee shop'. 'helps me to generate' -> 'helps me generate' is more natural. 'ideas in math or physics' -> 'ideas for math or physics'. Use plural pronoun 'them' to refer to 'ideas'. Grammar problem type ID: 26.

× When I was a child, I loved to fold the paper and fold it to make it like look like a plane or a cat and which ones I like in that time.

✓ When I was a child, I loved folding paper into shapes like planes or cats; those were the ones I liked at that time.

Use 'loved folding' (gerund) to describe habitual past action. Remove redundant 'fold it to make it like look like'. Use 'those were the ones I liked at that time' to clarify which items were preferred. Ensure past tense consistency. Grammar problem type ID: 5.