Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Use a clear topic sentence, correct tense and grammar, avoid redundancy and keep within 3–4 coherent sentences. Mention the craft, your role, and an outcome with linking words. Correct pronunciation and word choice (e.g. “made paper planes,” “competition,” “came second”).

例: Yes. About a year ago I helped organize a design festival where I ran a craft workshop making paper planes. My group held a small competition to see whose plane flew the farthest, and my plane came second. It was really enjoyable because we involved many children and got great feedback.

提案: Good direct answer and clear reasons. Improve by using more natural collocations and fewer hesitations, and combine ideas with linking words. Keep sentences concise and correct phrasing: say “write emails” instead of “prepare e-mail.”

例: No, I don't write physical letters anymore. I used to write handwritten notes in high school, but nowadays I write emails and use messaging apps because they are faster and more convenient for staying in touch.

提案: Answer directly and improve grammar and coherence. Use linking words to connect points, avoid incorrect phrases (e.g. “handwriting letters,” “its first rents”), and give a clear contrast between most people and exceptions. Provide a specific example.

例: Some people still keep handwritten letters, but most people prefer digital messaging because it’s more convenient and faster. For example, I mainly use WhatsApp and email, while my grandparents still send postcards for birthdays and holidays.

提案: Be concise and accurate: correct irrelevant words (e.g. “small fan” and “They're very hard” are confusing). Stick to 2–4 sentences, use linking words, and give specific situations when you use them.

例: Yes, I usually carry a small notebook and a pen in case my phone battery dies. They are handy for jotting down quick notes, phone numbers or addresses, especially during meetings or when I meet new people.

提案: Good content and clear description. Fix minor vocabulary and grammar errors (use “folding paper planes,” “at first” placement, and “fold” instead of “fault”), and tighten sentences with linking words to show sequence.

例: When I was a child I loved folding paper planes. My mother showed me how to make them at first, and after watching her I learned to fold them myself. I enjoyed testing how far each plane could fly.

× Oh yes, about a year ago I helped organize a design festival, so we run several craft activities and my workshop was made the plane so and we had a small country so see whose plane cleared the protest and mine came second.

✓ Oh yes, about a year ago I helped organize a design festival, so we ran several craft activities. My workshop made paper planes and we held a small contest to see whose plane cleared the course; mine came second.

The original sentence has multiple structural problems: mixed tenses ('helped' is past, 'run' should be past), unclear phrases ('made the plane so', 'small country so see', 'cleared the protest') and run-on clauses. Break the ideas into separate sentences, change verbs to past tense for consistency ('run' -> 'ran'), use clear nouns ('paper planes', 'contest', 'course'), and connect clauses with appropriate punctuation for clarity.

× Umm, no, I don't write physical letters anymore. I used to write a few handwritten notes when I was in high school, but these days I prepare e-mail and messaging apps because they are faster and more convenient for keeping in touch.

✓ Umm, no, I don't write physical letters anymore. I used to write a few handwritten notes when I was in high school, but these days I use e-mail and messaging apps because they are faster and more convenient for keeping in touch.

The verb 'prepare' is incorrect in this context; 'use' is the appropriate present tense verb to indicate which communication methods the speaker employs. Maintain present simple for habitual actions ('I use'). Also use the correct collocation 'use e-mail and messaging apps'.

× Although a small percentage of people still write a handwriting letters, the majority prepare digital messaging because its first rents more convenient. Frequently.

✓ Although a small percentage of people still write handwritten letters, the majority use digital messaging because it is far more convenient.

Errors: 'write a handwriting letters' is ungrammatical—use adjective 'handwritten' before 'letters'. 'Prepare digital messaging' is wrong collocation; use 'use digital messaging'. 'its first rents more convenient' appears to be garbled; intended meaning is 'it is far more convenient'. Remove the stray sentence fragment 'Frequently' or integrate it properly.

× I usually use apps like WhatsApp or e-mail for communication, but so my grandparents still send postcards on special occasions.

✓ I usually use apps like WhatsApp or e-mail for communication, but my grandparents still send postcards on special occasions.

The word 'so' is misplaced and makes the sentence ungrammatical. Removing 'so' yields a correct contrast using 'but'. Pronoun usage is otherwise fine; the correction restores natural sentence flow.

× Yes, I usually carry a small notebook and a small fan for in case my phone battery dies.

✓ Yes, I usually carry a small notebook and a small fan in case my phone battery dies.

The preposition phrase 'for in case' is incorrect; the correct idiom is 'in case' followed by the clause. Remove the extra 'for'.

× They're very hard. Handy for jotting down quick notes, phone numbers or addresses, especially during meetings or when I meet new people.

✓ They're very handy for jotting down quick notes, phone numbers, or addresses, especially during meetings or when I meet new people.

'They're very hard' is incorrect adjective choice; 'hard' does not fit the intended meaning. Use the adjective 'handy'. Also combine fragments into a complete sentence instead of a sentence fragment 'Handy for...'. Add Oxford comma for clarity if desired.

× Well, when I was a child, I liked folding paper planes because my mother often made them for me at first.

✓ Well, when I was a child, I liked folding paper planes because my mother often made them for me at first.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable but sounds slightly awkward with 'at first' at the end. Suggestion: move or remove 'at first' for clarity: '...because at first my mother often made them for me.' No change required under the provided list except optional word order improvement.

× After watching her, I learned how to fault them myself, and I enjoyed seeing how far they could fly.

✓ After watching her, I learned how to fold them myself, and I enjoyed seeing how far they could fly.

The verb 'fault' is a typo or wrong word; the intended verb is 'fold'. Correcting to 'fold' fixes the meaning. The rest of the sentence is correct.