Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words (for example, because, when, and) and correct verb forms (I am an educator; I used to make paper flowers at school). Avoid irrelevant phrases like “Image representing.”

例: Yes, I have. I still make paper crafts at work because I am an educator and we use them for classroom displays. For example, I often fold and decorate paper flowers and garlands to teach a lesson about seasons.

提案: Clarify meaning and correct vocabulary and grammar. Begin with a direct answer, then explain why with specific examples. Replace unclear phrases (e.g., “love ride”) with correct expressions like “love to receive letters.” Keep responses coherent and avoid long unclear additions about mood without explanation.

例: Yes, I still write physical letters because I love receiving handwritten notes from people I care about. I usually handwrite short letters for my boyfriend or close friends when I want to express gratitude or affection, especially on special occasions.

提案: Make your answer more precise and grammatical. Start with a clear opinion, then contrast with technology using linking words (however, although). Provide a specific reason or example to support your view and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I think many people still keep handwritten letters because they feel more personal and meaningful. However, with the rise of smartphones and email, fewer people write long letters now, so those who do often keep them as keepsakes.

提案: Give a direct answer and one clear supporting detail. Correct word choice (carry pens, backpack) and avoid filler. Use linking words to explain exceptions (but, sometimes).

例: No, I don't usually carry paper and pens because my phone and keys are usually enough. But sometimes I keep a pen in my bag for appointments or hospital visits in case I need to fill in forms.

提案: Answer directly and give one or two concrete examples of activities (drawing, writing letters). Use past tense consistently and provide a reason or effect. Reduce hesitation words and general statements.

例: As a child I loved writing letters and drawing on paper to express my feelings to my parents and friends. For example, I often made simple cards and wrote little notes for my mother on special days.

× I usually do when in my work because I'm educator and then I did when I was a child in the school, which is really fun to do this because I did like flowers and then some. Image representing.

✓ I usually make them at work because I'm an educator, and I used to make them when I was a child at school; it was really fun because I made things like flowers and similar crafts.

Pronoun and article errors: 'do' is vague for 'make crafts' so use a clear verb; 'I'm educator' needs the indefinite article 'an'; 'did when I was a child in the school' should be 'used to make them when I was a child at school' to express habitual past; 'which is really fun to do this' is awkward and redundant. Suggest using clear verbs, correct articles, and proper tense for habitual past ('used to' or past simple with 'used to' nuance).

× Yes I do because I love ride from the people that I love it. I do. I usually do handwriting for my boyfriend or for anyone it's special or when I want to praise any feelings. How the pain today depend my my situation in my life.

✓ Yes, I do because I love receiving letters from people I love. I usually write by hand for my boyfriend or for anyone special, or when I want to express my feelings. How I feel today depends on my life situation.

Several tense and pronoun problems: 'love ride from' is incorrect verb and should be 'love receiving'; 'that I love it' has redundant pronoun 'it' and should be 'people I love'; 'I usually do handwriting' should be 'I usually write by hand' (verb + -ing issue and collocation); 'anyone it's special' should be 'anyone special' (pronoun/adjective order). Final sentence needs subject-verb agreement and correct word order: 'How the pain today depend my my situation in my life' corrected to 'How I feel today depends on my life situation.' Use present simple for general states and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× Yes they do because it's really interesting and popular on the people now. Also the technology has been increased, umm in the last few years. So some people have have been using technology but the some people still doing handwriting and texting.

✓ Yes, they do because it is really interesting and popular among people now. Also, technology has increased in the last few years. Some people have been using technology, but some people still handwrite and text.

Incorrect adjective/adverb and preposition choices: 'popular on the people' should be 'popular among people'; 'the technology has been increased' is passive and unnatural—use 'technology has increased' or 'technology has improved'; duplicate 'have have' remove one; 'still doing handwriting' should be 'still handwrite' (use correct verb form). Use consistent noun/verb forms and correct prepositions.

× No, I don't do it because I feel like when I just carry my phone and keys is sufficient for everything but sometimes in my back I I like to carry pants. If I go into hospital or appointments or something else I usually wear use my pen.

✓ No, I don't, because I feel carrying my phone and keys is sufficient for most things. But sometimes in my bag I like to carry a pen. If I go to the hospital or to appointments or elsewhere, I usually use my pen.

Preposition and word choice errors: 'in my back' should be 'in my bag'; 'carry pants' is incorrect — 'a pen' intended; 'go into hospital' is nonnative in many varieties of English—use 'go to the hospital' or 'go to appointments'; 'wear use my pen' is wrong—use 'use my pen'. Correct prepositions and nouns for clarity.

× Well, I love it because, umm, I was expressing my feelings and everything on paper, especially for my mom and my dad, also for my friends. And then I was enjoying everything as a child, especially handwriting.

✓ Well, I loved it because I expressed my feelings on paper, especially for my mom and dad, and for my friends. I enjoyed doing those things as a child, especially handwriting.

Past tense consistency: The response should use past simple ('loved', 'expressed', 'enjoyed') to describe habitual past actions. Using 'I was expressing' and 'I was enjoying' (past continuous) is less natural for habitual past activities. Also simplify 'my mom and my dad' to 'my mom and dad'. Use past simple for repeated or habitual actions in the past.