Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give a brief reason and an example. Use linking words (because, so) correctly and avoid redundancy. Keep it under 3–4 short sentences.

例: No, I haven't. Making paper crafts is difficult for me because they require precise folding and cutting. For example, I tried to fold an origami swan once, but it was too intricate so I stopped.

提案: Use correct tense and clearer vocabulary. Begin with a direct answer, then give one concise reason and an example. Avoid repeating the same phrase.

例: Yes, I do. I prefer writing physical letters because they feel more personal than messages. For instance, I often send handwritten birthday notes to close friends.

提案: Answer directly and give a specific, relevant reason. Reduce filler sounds (umm) and avoid unclear statements. Use a linking word (because, for example) and provide a concrete example.

例: Yes, many people still keep handwritten letters. For example, students often save handwritten notes and letters from friends as sentimental keepsakes.

提案: Be concise and correct word choice (paper, pen). Give one clear reason and an example of when you use them. Keep sentences short and grammatical, use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I do. I usually carry a notebook and a pen to jot down ideas or events. For example, I write quick notes about interesting things I see while traveling so I can remember them later.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence, correct phrases (as a child), and give two specific examples with brief reasons. Avoid fillers and keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: As a child, I liked making paper airplanes and drawing animals and fruits. I enjoyed folding planes because they flew well, and drawing was a fun way to practise shapes and colors.

× No, I haven't made because I think made the craft in the paper is so hard for me and it's like make a craft and the paper is only for the big scarf only.

✓ No, I haven't made any because I think making crafts with paper is very hard for me, and it feels like paper is only suitable for large scarves.

Uses present perfect 'haven't made' with unclear object; 'made the craft in the paper' is ungrammatical. Replace with 'haven't made any' for unspecified objects. Use gerund 'making crafts with paper' to describe the activity. 'is so hard for me' -> 'is very hard for me'. Remove redundant 'only' and clarify 'suitable for large scarves'. Suggestion: Use 'I haven't made any crafts with paper because I find making them difficult'.

× Yeah, I still write physical later because the physical letter is still look good for me and the physical letter is more popular so I still write it.

✓ Yes, I still write physical letters because physical letters still look good to me and are more popular, so I still write them.

Subject-verb agreement and tense/number: 'letter is still look' is incorrect; use 'letters' plural and 'look' with plural subject 'letters' remains 'look' but need 'look' not 'is look'. Also 'later' should be 'letters'. Replace 'so I still write it' with 'so I still write them'. Suggestion: Use plural 'letters' and ensure verbs agree: 'physical letters still look good to me'.

× Umm yes we do. Umm, people still keep handwriting letter today because umm, all a lot of people or the student is always handwriting about the lesson.

✓ Yes, we do. People still keep handwritten letters today because many people, especially students, often write notes about lessons by hand.

'Handwriting letter' is incorrect adjective form; use past participle adjective 'handwritten'. 'All a lot of people or the student is always handwriting' is ungrammatical; replace with 'many people, especially students, often write notes by hand'. Use 'often' instead of 'always' if frequency unclear. Suggestion: Use 'handwritten letters' and 'write notes by hand'.

× Yes I do, I carry pepper and pen with me when I go out because I think umm I need to written and note all of the story and the events around me when I'm go outside.

✓ Yes, I do. I carry paper and a pen with me when I go out because I think I need to write down and note all the stories and events around me when I go outside.

Several errors: 'pepper' -> 'paper'; missing article 'a pen'; 'I need to written' uses wrong verb form; use infinitive 'to write down'. 'all of the story' -> 'all the stories'; 'when I'm go outside' -> 'when I go outside'. Pronouns and verb forms corrected. Suggestion: Use correct nouns and verb forms: 'carry paper and a pen', 'need to write down'.

× So I written a note all of this because umm when one day I think I should review on it and have a good day.

✓ So I write notes about these things because one day I might want to review them and have a good day.

'I written' is wrong past participle without auxiliary; context suggests habitual/future intention so use present 'I write' or modal 'I might want to review'. 'All of this' -> 'these things'; 'review on it' -> 'review them'. Suggestion: Use correct tense and form: 'I write notes so I can review them later'.

× As a tall I like to make an airplane with the paper and draw like draw animal or the fruit because umm when I was child I can't do anything umm like that.

✓ When I was a child, I liked to make paper airplanes and draw animals or fruit because I couldn't do many other things like that.

'As a tall' is incorrect phrase; should be 'When I was a child'. Tense inconsistency: use past 'liked' and 'couldn't'. 'make an airplane with the paper' -> 'make paper airplanes'. 'draw like draw animal or the fruit' -> 'draw animals or fruit'. Suggestion: Start with time phrase 'When I was a child' and keep past tense throughout.