Paper— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid hesitations and filler words. Use correct verb forms and clearer sequencing (e.g., past simple).

例: Yes, I have. When I was younger I often made paper cranes and simple origami animals. For example, once I folded a crane from a fast-food tray paper while waiting for my meal, which sparked my interest in paper crafts.

提案: Answer directly and use correct grammar and tense. Keep it concise (max 5 sentences). Give one specific example and link ideas using transitions like 'but' or 'however'. Avoid casual spoken fillers.

例: Not often. I rarely write physical letters myself, but I recently received one from my boyfriend explaining that we will be apart for a long time due to a long-distance move. It made me appreciate handwritten notes more.

提案: Give a clear opinion first, then support it with specific reasons and examples. Use linking words (for example, however) and correct grammar. Avoid overgeneralizations and complete your thought without trailing off.

例: Yes, some people still keep handwritten letters. For example, older generations often save letters as meaningful keepsakes, whereas many younger people prefer digital messages; however, some young people also keep letters for sentimental reasons.

提案: Be concise and organize the answer: state habit, give reason and a brief example. Fix articles and verb forms. Limit to 2–4 sentences and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I usually carry a small sketchbook and a couple of pens. After a trip to Venice I bought different pencils from an art store, and I like to sketch scenes whenever I find an interesting spot.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence about your childhood habit, then give specific activities and one brief example. Use past tense consistently and avoid vague phrases like 'or something'.

例: As a child I loved drawing and making paper crafts. I often drew imaginative scenes, folded paper into shapes, and passed handwritten notes to my classmates during lessons.

× I think I did at some point, but I don't remember what exactly is.

✓ I think I did at some point, but I don't remember exactly what it was.

The original sentence misorders the clause and uses 'is' incorrectly for a past action. Use past reference 'it was' to match 'did' and place 'exactly' before 'what' or 'what it was' for clarity. Suggestion: Use 'I don't remember exactly what it was' for natural word order and correct tense.

× Ah, I remember now that I folded a crane using the fast food paper on the fast food, uh, tray.

✓ Ah, I remember now that I folded a crane using the fast-food paper from the fast-food tray.

The phrase 'on the fast food, uh, tray' is disfluent and the noun phrase needs hyphenation and preposition 'from' to show origin. Also use 'fast-food' as a compound adjective. Suggestion: Say 'paper from the fast-food tray' for clarity.

× Umm 2 folded.

✓ Umm, I folded two.

The fragment '2 folded' is nonstandard: numbers should be spelled in speech and the verb should follow subject. Correction: 'I folded two.' for a complete sentence.

× Umm, I would say not really, but I have received others physical letter not very long time ago.

✓ Umm, I would say not really, but I received another physical letter not very long ago.

Use 'another' (singular) instead of 'others' and correct word order: 'not very long ago.' Also simple past 'received' fits better than present perfect if referring to a specific recent time. Suggestion: 'I received another physical letter not very long ago.'

× It was from my boyfriend and he wrote me that because we are gonna stop seeing each other for quite a long time because long distance.

✓ It was from my boyfriend; he wrote to me that we are going to stop seeing each other for quite a long time because of the long distance.

Use 'wrote to me' (correct verb+preposition), avoid informal 'gonna' and use 'going to.' Add 'because of' to introduce the reason and include 'the' before 'long distance.' Suggestion: Use formal forms in test responses.

× I think it really depends on people's personal habits because for example if they are old and they born before the technology or social media was invented, they would probably keep handwritten letters, but for example Gen. Z they were digital nomads so.

✓ I think it really depends on people's personal habits. For example, if they are older and were born before technology or social media were invented, they would probably keep handwritten letters. For example, Gen Z are digital natives, so they usually do not keep them.

Multiple issues: use 'older' instead of 'old' when comparing, use past passive 'were born,' and correct verb agreement 'social media were invented' (media plural), and awkward 'Gen. Z they were digital nomads so' needs restructuring. 'Digital natives' is the more accurate term; 'are' not 'were.' Suggestion: Break into clear sentences and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× Yes, I actually do because I am into sketching after travelling to Europe, especially in Venice, I pass by a art supply store so I got myself some different types of pencils and colored pencils to sketch.

✓ Yes, I actually do because I got into sketching after traveling to Europe. Especially in Venice, I passed by an art supply store, so I bought myself several types of pencils and colored pencils to sketch with.

Use 'got into' for developing an interest, past tense 'passed' and 'bought' for past events, 'an art supply store' (use 'an' before vowel sound), 'several' instead of 'some different types' for conciseness, and 'to sketch with' or 'for sketching' for purpose. Also US/UK spelling: 'traveling' vs 'travelling'—be consistent.

× Yes I do.

✓ Yes, I do.

Add required comma for natural speech transcription. This sentence itself is grammatically fine; comma improves clarity.

× I think I drew a lot of different things in my mind on the paper and at the same time I would probably fold it or write something on it to chat with my friends in class and I would just keep them doing notes or something.

✓ I think I drew a lot of different things on paper, and at the same time I would often fold it or write notes to chat with my friends in class, and I would just keep those notes.

Simplify and correct tense and article use: 'on paper' is more natural than 'on the paper' for general action. Use 'would often' to indicate habitual past. 'Write something on it to chat' is clearer as 'write notes to chat.' 'Keep them doing notes' is ungrammatical; use 'keep those notes.' Suggestion: Break into shorter clauses and use consistent past habitual phrasing.