Clothing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: remove fillers (uh), use one clear topic sentence and one supporting detail. Add a linking phrase to list examples smoothly.

例: I prefer casual, comfortable clothes because they allow me to move freely. For example, I often wear T‑shirts and track pants, and sometimes a lightweight jacket if it’s cool outside.

提案: Good structure and clarity. Improve by using linking words to contrast ideas (however, although) and avoid repeating phrases. Make sentences slightly shorter for naturalness.

例: I generally prefer comfortable, casual clothes; however, it depends on the occasion. If an event requires formal attire, I’ll wear a shirt and formal trousers, but for informal gatherings I stick to casual wear.

提案: Reduce redundancy and filler words. Give one clear reason and one concise example. Use linking words (because, and) to connect ideas naturally.

例: Yes, I love T‑shirts because they’re lightweight and comfortable. They’re also versatile — I can pair them with jeans, shorts, or trousers for different looks.

提案: Clarify and correct awkward phrasing. Be specific about how much time you spend and give a clear example with a short explanation. Avoid extraneous clauses like "and will rest."

例: Yes, I often spend about 10–15 minutes selecting an outfit because I like to look neat and tidy. For example, I once chose a slightly smarter outfit for a casual party because I wanted to make a good impression.

提案: Correct contradictory detail (shorts are not formal) and avoid repetition. State the contrast clearly and use linking words (whereas). Be specific about typical weekday and weekend items.

例: Yes. On weekdays I usually wear business casual — a shirt and formal trousers — because of work, whereas on weekends I wear comfortable clothes like jeans or sweatpants to relax.

提案: Remove filler words and repetitions, and tighten the example. Add a linking word to connect reason and example (for example, such as).

例: I prefer black clothes because they look simple and elegant. For example, I wore a black shirt and trousers to a recent party and many people complimented my understated look.

× I like to wear casual comfortable clothes as they are easier to move in.

✓ I like wearing casual, comfortable clothes because they are easier to move in.

Using 'like to wear' is not wrong, but in this context 'like wearing' is more natural; added comma between adjectives and replaced 'as' with 'because' for clearer causal connection.

× T-shirts, track pants, and uh, sometimes jackets too.

✓ T-shirts, track pants, and sometimes jackets too.

Removed filler 'uh' and extra comma; no article needed before plural nouns.

× If the event requires formal attire, then I do so by wearing shirts and formal pants, but if the event is not formal, I go with casual clothes.

✓ If the event requires formal attire, I wear shirts and formal pants; if it is not formal, I wear casual clothes.

Avoid redundant phrase 'do so by' and use consistent parallel verb forms 'I wear...; I wear...'. Replaced 'the event is not formal' with 'it is not formal' for concision.

× Yes actually I love wearing T-shirts as they are really comfortable and uh, easy to move in while being lightweight and also I believe T-shirts can pair up with any type of pants and uh, suits any kind of person.

✓ Yes, I love wearing T-shirts because they are comfortable, lightweight, and easy to move in; I also believe T-shirts go with any kind of pants and suit many people.

Added commas and removed filler 'uh'; replaced 'pair up with' with 'go with' and 'suits any kind of person' with 'suit many people' for natural phrasing and subject-verb agreement (plural 'T-shirts' take plural verb 'suit').

× Yes, I do spend a lot of time choosing my clothes as I'm a kind of person who likes presenting himself as neat and tidy and will rest.

✓ Yes, I do spend a lot of time choosing my clothes because I am the kind of person who likes to present himself as neat and tidy and will rest.

Changed 'as' to 'because' for clarity, added 'the' before 'kind of person', and corrected infinitive 'to present' after 'likes'. Pronoun 'himself' is acceptable if student male; kept but made structure grammatical.

× For instance, I recently attended a party which did not require any formal or smart clothing, but I did anyways.

✓ For instance, I recently attended a party that did not require formal clothing, but I did anyway.

Use 'that' (restrictive) instead of 'which' and 'anyway' (not 'anyways'); removed redundant 'any' before 'formal' and simplified phrase.

× Weekdays require more of a formal attire so I do so by wearing shorts and formal pants.

✓ Weekdays require more formal attire, so I wear trousers and formal shirts.

'A formal attire' is incorrect; 'attire' is uncountable so use 'formal attire' without 'a'. 'Shorts and formal pants' is contradictory; replaced with 'trousers and formal shirts' for natural formal weekday clothing and adjusted verb to simple present for habitual action.

× While weekends does not require any specific dress code so I wear casual comfortable clothes which I like.

✓ Weekends do not require any specific dress code, so I wear the casual, comfortable clothes I like.

Subject 'weekends' is plural, so use 'do not' (not 'does not'). Added commas and article 'the' to improve flow and removed redundant 'which'.

× I like black colored clothes as they look simple, neat and tidy.

✓ I like black clothes because they look simple, neat, and tidy.

Use 'black clothes' rather than 'black colored clothes' (redundant) and 'because' for clarity; added Oxford comma for clarity.

× For instance, I recently, uh, went to a party while wearing a black shirt and black pant and all all the people from the party complimented me on how simple yet elegant it looked.

✓ For instance, I recently went to a party wearing a black shirt and black pants, and everyone there complimented me on how simple yet elegant it looked.

Use 'pants' (plural) not 'pant'; remove duplicate 'all', remove filler 'uh', and replace 'all the people from the party' with 'everyone there' for natural phrasing.