Clothing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and directly state your preference first, then give one or two specific supporting details. Reduce fillers (um, uh) and avoid irrelevant mentions (asking parents). Use linking words like “because” or “for example” to make your answer coherent.

例: I prefer casual tops, especially T-shirts, because they are comfortable and versatile. For example, I often spend a long time in the T-shirt section at malls looking for colorful or graphic designs that match my style.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then give one specific reason and an example. Avoid hesitation and undefined phrases. Use linking words like “because” and “for example.”

例: I prefer comfortable and casual clothes because they are easy to put on when I'm in a hurry. For example, I usually wear a soft T-shirt and jeans when I go for a walk with my dog because they let me move freely.

提案: Answer directly and briefly, then add a specific reason and a brief example. Remove repetitions and unnecessary words like “literally” and long hesitations. Use linking words such as “because” and “so.”

例: Definitely — I love wearing T-shirts because they are comfortable and come in many styles. For instance, when I visit a mall I always head to the T-shirt section to look for new prints or colors.

提案: Give a clear direct answer (yes/no/it depends) and then explain with one or two specific conditions. Use correct pronouns and avoid mixing second and first person (your/you vs I).

例: It depends. If I need an outfit for a school event I might spend a long time choosing because I'm nervous about finding the right look. However, when I'm shopping casually I usually decide quickly.

提案: Answer directly about current habits, then contrast past and present with clear linking words (e.g., “before… now…”). Be specific about how styles differ on weekdays vs weekends and avoid vague statements.

例: Yes, my style has changed. Before I wore baggy clothes as a teenager, but now I usually dress more elegantly on weekdays for school and combine elegance with comfort on weekends, like wearing a smart top with jeans.

提案: State your favourite color clearly, then give a simple, relevant reason or example. Avoid unclear or inaccurate claims and awkward phrasing. Use one linking word such as “because” to explain why you like it.

例: My favourite colour is blue because it feels calm and suits many outfits. For example, I often wear blue shirts and accessories because they match both casual and slightly smarter looks.

× Well, as I'm a girl, I always ask my parents to buy me new clothes and when I go to the shopping center, uh, to the malls, I can see the umm, the part of the store with tops with T-shirts.

✓ Well, since I'm a girl, I always ask my parents to buy me new clothes, and when I go to shopping centers or malls, I head to the section of the store with tops and T-shirts.

The original uses awkward pronoun/phrase choices and repetition: 'as I'm a girl' is informal but acceptable; better is 'since' for reason. 'the shopping center, uh, to the malls' repeats and mixes singular/plural; use plural 'shopping centers or malls'. 'the part of the store with tops with T-shirts' repeats 'with'; correct to 'the section of the store with tops and T-shirts'. Combine clauses with commas and conjunctions for clarity.

× So I'm going to stay there for hours.

✓ So I can stay there for hours.

Tense/modal mismatch: 'I'm going to stay' suggests a planned future action; context expresses habitual ability (I can stay there for hours). Use 'can' to indicate habitual possibility.

× So my favorite.

✓ That's my favorite.

Sentence fragment: 'So my favorite' lacks a verb. Add 'That's' to form a complete sentence 'That's my favorite.'

× I'm not sure that I know the meaning of smart clothes, but actually I love wearing comfortable, uh, piece of clothes because I love when you are in hurry and you can wear something, uh, so you can go outside, for example, for a walk with a dog and then it's really nice to feel.

✓ I'm not sure I know what 'smart clothes' means, but I actually love wearing comfortable clothes because I like being able to get dressed quickly and go outside, for example for a walk with a dog; it feels really nice.

Pronoun and phrase errors: 'the meaning of smart clothes' is better phrased 'what "smart clothes" means.' 'piece of clothes' is uncountable—use 'clothes'. 'I love when you are in hurry' mixes persons; maintain first person: 'I like being able to get dressed quickly'. Remove filler words and restructure for coherence.

× Oh definitely yes.

✓ Oh, definitely yes.

Punctuation/fluency: add comma after 'Oh' for natural speech punctuation. Grammatically acceptable otherwise.

× As I said before, when I go to the store with my parents, I always literally run to the base of the store or the to the part of the store where I can see T-shirts because it's my favorite part of clothing.

✓ As I said before, when I go to the store with my parents, I literally run to the part of the store where the T-shirts are because it's my favorite section.

Awkward phrasing: 'base of the store' is incorrect; use 'part' or 'section'. Remove duplicate 'the' and restructure 'where I can see T-shirts' to 'where the T-shirts are'. 'part of clothing' should be 'section'.

× So I can spend the hours and I will choose.

✓ So I can spend hours there and choose what I want.

Tense and article problems: 'spend the hours' is unnatural—use 'spend hours there'. 'I will choose' is unnecessary future; in habitual context, simple present 'choose' or present ability 'can choose' fits. Combined into smoother sentence.

× It depends on your moods and what I'm looking for, because sometimes I need to buy something in a hurry because of the event, probably in my school or something.

✓ It depends on my mood and what I'm looking for, because sometimes I need to buy something in a hurry for an event, probably at my school.

Pronoun/person mismatch: the student switches from 'your moods' to 'what I'm looking for'; keep first person 'my mood'. Use singular 'mood' for general statement. 'Because of the event, probably in my school' is better 'for an event, probably at my school.'

× And then it usually takes a lot of time because you are nervous.

✓ Then it usually takes a lot of time because I am nervous.

Pronoun mismatch: maintain first person perspective ('I am nervous') rather than switching to 'you are nervous'.

× And yeah, but if you're not in a hurry, you usually find time.

✓ But if I'm not in a hurry, I usually have time.

Pronoun consistency: keep first person 'I' throughout. 'Find time' is okay but 'have time' is more natural here.

× When I was like a teenager I usually wear baggy clothes but now I try to look elegant and my mom usually says that I look better in it and it is just because I grew up and I try to combine the styles on weekends and weekdays because it's comfortable.

✓ When I was a teenager I usually wore baggy clothes, but now I try to look elegant and my mom usually says that I look better in it. That's because I have grown up, and I try to combine styles on weekends and weekdays because it's more comfortable.

Tense agreement: 'When I was a teenager' requires past tense 'wore' not 'wear'. Use present perfect 'have grown up' to connect past to present. Break long sentence into shorter sentences for clarity and correct 'combine the styles' to 'combine styles'. 'It's comfortable' -> 'it's more comfortable' for comparison.

× So my favorite color is blue and I try to combine it with my clothes.

✓ My favorite color is blue, and I try to incorporate it into my outfits.

'Combine it with my clothes' is awkward; use 'incorporate it into my outfits'. Minor punctuation: add comma after introductory clause.

× I also read some books from psychologists and they say that blue color is like using the gravity for people.

✓ I've also read some books by psychologists, and they say that the color blue affects people like a calming force.

Preposition and noun choice: 'books from psychologists' should be 'books by psychologists'. 'Blue color is like using the gravity for people' is unclear and ungrammatical; interpret likely meaning and rephrase to 'the color blue affects people like a calming force.' Use present perfect 'I've read' to indicate experience.

× So the pay attention on this.

✓ So pay attention to this.

Extra article and incorrect preposition: remove 'the' and use correct preposition 'to' after 'pay attention'. Also remove 'So' or keep for linking; corrected sentence is concise.