Clothing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and fluent: give a clear topic sentence, then one or two specific supporting details. Avoid fillers and unclear words. Use linking words if giving examples.

例: I don’t stick to one style; I wear both Eastern and Western clothes. For example, I often wear kurta-pajamas for family gatherings, and jeans and T-shirts for casual outings.

提案: Good structure and relevance. Reduce hesitation and correct small grammar errors (e.g., 'doing everyday chores', 'comfortable and casual wear'). Use one linking phrase then two clear examples.

例: It depends on the occasion. For everyday tasks like grocery shopping I prefer comfortable casual wear, but for formal events I choose smart clothes such as a suit or a neat dress.

提案: Be clear and avoid repetition. Start with a topic sentence, then give two specific situations where you wear T-shirts. Use linking words and correct vocabulary (e.g., 'comfortable and stylish', 'casual outings').

例: Yes, I love wearing T-shirts because they are comfortable and stylish. For example, I wear them at home and when I go to the cinema, and I also choose T-shirts for informal birthday parties.

提案: Provide a clearer reason and one brief detail. Avoid fillers and use cohesive words like 'because' or 'so'.

例: Not really, because I prefer to pick clothes quickly. I usually choose items that are easy to find in my wardrobe so I don’t waste time deciding.

提案: Good idea but correct grammar and avoid repetition. Use a clear topic sentence and one linking phrase, then two specific contrasts (weekday vs weekend).

例: Yes, I dress differently. On weekdays I wear smart, formal clothes for university, while on weekends I choose comfortable, casual outfits like jeans and hoodies.

提案: Be more precise with colour names and reduce repetition. Use linking words to explain why you prefer them and correct grammar (e.g., 'bright colours such as neon orange, hot pink and sky blue, which brighten my complexion').

例: I prefer bright colours. For instance, I like neon orange, hot pink and sky blue because they brighten my complexion and make me look more lively.

× I don't have a specific type in the clothes which I wear.

✓ I don't have a specific type of clothes that I wear.

The original sentence uses awkward prepositions and relative clause. Use 'type of clothes' and 'that I wear' for natural English. This fixes sentence structure and preposition usage; say 'type of' not 'type in'.

× I wear Eastern, Western and I even wear medalistian clothes sometimes.

✓ I wear Eastern and Western clothes, and I even wear traditional clothes sometimes.

The original repeats 'I wear' unnecessarily and uses an unclear word 'medalistian'. Combine items with commas and use a clear adjective noun phrase 'traditional clothes'. This improves sentence flow and word choice.

× So it doesn't it, you know, like isn't umm, you can say, uh, I have a wide range, you know, like, umm, yeah.

✓ So you can say I have a wide range of clothes.

Original contains fillers and broken structure. Remove filler words and simplify to a single clear sentence. Use 'a wide range of clothes' to express variety.

× The type of clothes depends on the occasion, uh, that I'm going to.

✓ The type of clothes depends on the occasion I'm going to.

Remove the unnecessary preposition 'to' after 'occasion'. 'Occasion' does not require 'to' in this clause. Also remove filler words for clarity.

× For example, if I'm going to a supermarket, uh, to buy some groceries or doing a everyday chore, I like to wear comfortable and casual tour.

✓ For example, if I'm going to a supermarket to buy some groceries or doing an everyday chore, I like to wear comfortable and casual clothes.

Maintain parallel structure: use 'to buy' and 'doing' is acceptable but better to use parallel forms 'to buy' and 'to do' or 'buying' and 'doing'. Also 'a everyday' should be 'an everyday' and 'tour' is wrong word; use 'clothes'. Suggested: 'to buy some groceries or to do an everyday chore' or 'buying some groceries or doing an everyday chore.'

× Or if I'm going to, uh, umm, very formal event, I would prefer to wear smart clothes.

✓ Or if I'm going to a very formal event, I would prefer to wear smart clothes.

Add the indefinite article 'a' before 'very formal event'. Events require an article here.

× Yes, I love to wear T-shirts as they are not only comfortable where are but are also a stylish attire and I wear them on different occasions for example, going to uh uh, acquaintances birthday party or staying at home or going for movies if or do cinemas and every day for everyday uh, my uh and T-shirts are my.

✓ Yes, I love wearing T-shirts because they are not only comfortable but also stylish, and I wear them on different occasions, for example to an acquaintance's birthday party, when staying at home, or when going to the cinema.

Multiple issues: use 'love wearing' or 'love to wear' (consistent form), 'where are' is incorrect and removed, 'a stylish attire' is wrong—'stylish' modifies clothes and 'attire' is uncountable so use 'stylish' or 'a stylish outfit'. Use 'to an acquaintance's birthday party' with possessive and article. Use 'the cinema' or 'going to the cinema' not awkward phrasing. Remove repeated fillers and incomplete ending.

× Not really. I usually wear clothes which I can find easily.

✓ Not really. I usually wear clothes that I can find easily.

Use 'that' instead of 'which' in restrictive clauses in informal speech; both are often acceptable, but 'that' is clearer here. The sentence is otherwise fine.

× Umm, rather than, uh, getting into a hassling situation and umm, yeah.

✓ I prefer to avoid a stressful situation when choosing clothes.

Original is a fragment with fillers. Provide a full sentence: 'avoid a stressful situation' expresses the intended meaning; 'hassling' is incorrect form—use 'hassle' or 'stressful situation'.

× Yes, my choice of thought depends on the occasion.

✓ Yes, my choice of clothes depends on the occasion.

'Choice of thought' is incorrect; use 'choice of clothes'. This fixes the sentence meaning.

× For example, on weekdays when I am attending any event or going to university, I prefer to wear.

✓ For example, on weekdays when I am attending events or going to university, I prefer to wear formal clothes.

Original ends abruptly. Complete the sentence by specifying what is preferred: 'formal clothes'. Make 'event' plural or use 'an event'.

× I prefer to wear formal and smart attire, while on weekend I wear something very style and comfortably.

✓ I prefer to wear formal and smart attire, while on weekends I wear something very stylish and comfortable.

Use plural 'weekends', 'stylish' not 'style' (adjective), and 'comfortable' (adjective) not 'comfortably' (adverb). This corrects adjective/adverb use and pluralization.

× There is not a specific type of colour in clothes which I like, but I prefer to wear bright colour clothes.

✓ There is not a specific colour I prefer, but I like to wear bright-coloured clothes.

Simplify phrasing: 'a specific colour in clothes which I like' is awkward. Use 'colour I prefer' or 'specific colour'. Also 'bright colour clothes' should be 'bright-coloured clothes' or 'bright-coloured clothing'.

× For example a neon orange, shocking pink and and white blue which are brighten my complexion and brighten and complement my complexion and me make me look better.

✓ For example, neon orange, shocking pink, and white-blue tones brighten my complexion and complement me, making me look better.

Original has repetition and incorrect verb forms. Use plural noun list without articles, hyphenate 'white-blue' if describing a shade, and use 'brighten' (plural subject) and 'complement me' (not 'complement my complexion and me make me'). Use participle 'making me look better' to combine clauses.