Clothing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct repetitions; start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail and a brief example. Use linking words (for example, because) and avoid repeating phrases.

例: I usually wear traditional eastern clothes, such as salwar kameez or kurta pajama, because they are modest and elegant. For example, I often wear a kurta set for family gatherings since it feels comfortable and appropriate for our culture.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence stating your preference in general, then contrast with specific situations using linking words (however, when). Avoid vague words like 'angles' and be specific about items.

例: In general I prefer comfortable clothes at home, but I wear smart outfits when I go out. For example, at home I wear lightweight cotton tops in summer, however when I meet friends I choose a smart kurta with matching heels and simple jewelry.

提案: Open with a clear statement about your preference, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words (because, but). Avoid repetition and unclear phrases like 'wear outs'.

例: Yes, I like wearing T-shirts at home because they are lightweight and keep me cool while I cook. But I usually avoid T-shirts outside because I prefer more formal or traditional clothes when I go out.

提案: Be decisive in your topic sentence and avoid self-contradiction. State how much time you spend, then give specific details (how you choose, what you match). End the answer cleanly without trailing off.

例: I usually spend a moderate amount of time choosing clothes because I like to look well put together. For instance, before going out I plan my outfit and match it with appropriate heels and jewelry so everything looks coordinated.

提案: Correct the confusion between 'weekdays and weekends' and use a clear topic sentence. Give one contrasting example and use linking words (however, otherwise). Reduce fillers like 'umm' and 'uh'.

例: Generally my clothes are similar on weekdays and weekends, however if I go out on a weekend I tend to dress more formally. Otherwise I usually wear the same comfortable clothes at home during both weekdays and weekends.

提案: Begin with a clear statement of your preferred colours, then give specific shades and reasons. Avoid vague or contradictory phrases (dark colours making complexion darker) and finish the sentence properly.

例: I prefer dark-coloured clothes, especially deep blue, purple and black, because they suit my skin tone and make me feel confident. For example, I often choose a navy kurta for important events since it looks elegant and boosts my mood.

× Most of the time I like to wear eastern clothes such as salwar kameez or kurta pajama with a set of the bata.

✓ Most of the time I like to wear eastern clothes such as salwar kameez or kurta pajama with a set of bata.

The definite article 'the' before 'bata' is unnecessary because 'bata' (shoes) is being mentioned in general, not a specific pair. Remove 'the' to use the noun in general sense. Suggestion: use 'a pair of bata' if you mean one specific pair.

× In our country, I'm not a fan of fan of western clothes and I think eastern wear are more modest looking.

✓ In our country, I'm not a fan of western clothes and I think eastern wear is more modest-looking.

Subject-verb agreement: 'eastern wear' is a singular uncountable noun phrase and requires singular verb 'is'. Also remove the duplicated phrase 'fan of'. Hyphenate 'modest-looking' when used as a compound adjective before a noun. Suggestion: treat 'eastern wear' as uncountable singular and use 'is'.

× It depends on where I'm wearing the clothes.

✓ It depends on where I am wearing the clothes.

Contraction 'I'm' expands to 'I am' which is present tense and acceptable, but in formal correction use full form 'I am'. However the main issue: verb 'wear' collocates with 'where I am wearing them' or better 'where I will wear the clothes' depending on meaning. Suggestion: use 'where I am wearing the clothes' or 'where I will wear the clothes' for clarity.

× Inside my house, I like to wear comfortable, easy going, lightweight clothes, especially in summers.

✓ Inside my house, I like to wear comfortable, easy-going, lightweight clothes, especially in summer.

Use 'summer' without plural when speaking generally about the season. 'Easy-going' is a compound adjective and should be hyphenated. No article change needed beyond season singularization.

× But when I'm stepping out of the house to meet my friends or any relatives, I like to wear smart clothes, something very fancy with the pair of heels, angles and some.

✓ But when I step out of the house to meet my friends or any relatives, I like to wear smart clothes, something very fancy with a pair of heels, bangles and so on.

Use simple present 'I step out' for habitual action. 'the pair of heels' is incorrect; use 'a pair of heels'. 'angles' is likely a mispronunciation of 'bangles'; replace with correct noun. Use 'so on' or 'and so on' instead of 'and some' to complete the phrase.

× When I'm at my house, I prefer wearing T-shirts because they are more comfortable in summers because when I'm working in the kitchen it's too much heat.

✓ When I am at home, I prefer wearing T-shirts because they are more comfortable in summer, especially when I am working in the kitchen because it gets too hot.

Use 'at home' rather than 'at my house' for natural English. Use 'summer' singular. 'it gets too hot' correctly expresses temperature; 'it's too much heat' is unidiomatic. Keep present simple/progressive consistently.

× The T-shirts are very cool and lightweight, while I don't prefer them very outside.

✓ T-shirts are very cool and lightweight, but I don't prefer to wear them when going outside.

Use 'but' instead of 'while' for contrast here. 'Prefer them very outside' is ungrammatical; rephrase as 'prefer to wear them when going outside'. Also omit 'The' before 'T-shirts' when speaking generally.

× T-shirts are not my type to which I wear outs, you know, stepping out of the house.

✓ T-shirts are not my type of clothing to wear when stepping out of the house.

Original sentence has incorrect structure 'to which I wear outs'. Use 'type of clothing' and 'to wear when stepping out of the house' for clear, grammatical structure.

× I spend definitely, I spend a lot of my time, I would not say a lot of time, but yes, some of my time in choosing clothes because whenever I'm going outside, I like to present myself in a very nice and stylish manner.

✓ I spend some time choosing clothes; I would not say a lot, but I do think about my outfit because whenever I go outside, I like to present myself in a nice and stylish manner.

Original is repetitive and unorganized. Simplify and correct verb forms ('whenever I go outside' rather than 'I'm going outside') and remove redundant phrases for clarity.

× I usually think for some time that what I'm going to wear and how I'm going to match it with my heels and jewelry.

✓ I usually spend some time thinking about what I am going to wear and how I will match it with my heels and jewelry.

Use 'spend time thinking about' for the activity. Use 'I will match' or 'I am going to match' consistently for future intention. Correct word order and verb forms.

× So I would.

✓ So I would (consider my outfit).

Original is a sentence fragment. Complete the idea by adding what is meant, for example 'consider my outfit' or omit if unnecessary.

× I don't think I wear different styles on weekends and weekends mostly.

✓ I don't think I wear different styles on weekdays and weekends mostly.

The speaker likely intended 'weekdays and weekends'; original repeats 'weekends'. Correct the terms. Also sentence is awkward; consider 'I don't usually wear different styles on weekdays and weekends.' Suggestion: use 'usually' and correct contrast.

× I like mostly my umm clothes are same.

✓ Mostly I like my clothes to be the same.

Original mixes clauses incorrectly. Use a clear structure 'Mostly I like my clothes to be the same' to express general preference.

× But yes if I'm stepping out of the house on weekend then I uh change my attire to more uh formal look.

✓ But yes, if I step out of the house on the weekend, then I change my attire to a more formal look.

Use 'if I step out' for habitual action. Use 'on the weekend' or 'on weekends' and include article 'a more formal look'. Remove filler 'uh'.

× Otherwise it stays the same way if I'm inside the house.

✓ Otherwise it stays the same when I am inside the house.

Use 'when I am' instead of 'if I'm' for the habitual state. 'stays the same way' -> 'stays the same' is more natural.

× I prefer dark colored clothes because I believe they make me stand out and they make my complexion darker and according to my skin tone, I prefer more darker shades of blue, purple and black because they are some of my favorite colors.

✓ I prefer dark-colored clothes because I believe they make me stand out; according to my skin tone, I prefer darker shades of blue, purple and black because they are some of my favorite colors.

Hyphenate 'dark-colored'. Remove redundant 'make my complexion darker' if unintended; wording was awkward and repetitive. Use 'darker shades' rather than 'more darker' (double comparative). Break into two clauses for clarity.

× I think they just instantly lift up my mood and they make me more.

✓ I think they instantly lift my mood and make me feel better.

Original ends abruptly 'make me more' which is incomplete. Use 'make me feel better' to complete the thought and remove unnecessary 'up' after 'lift'.