Clothing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make a clear topic sentence, reduce hesitation and redundancy, and add a specific example. Use linking words to show reason or contrast (e.g., "because", "however"). Keep it within 3–4 concise sentences.

例: I prefer warm, comfortable clothes that suit the season. For example, in winter I usually wear a wool sweater and thermal leggings because they keep me warm during long shifts. However, in summer I choose light cotton tops to stay cool.

提案: Answer directly with a clear preference and give a brief reason and one example. Avoid repeating words and irrelevant details. Use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas.

例: I prefer comfortable, casual clothes because I work long shifts in a hospital. For instance, I usually wear smart-casual trousers and a neat cardigan so I look professional but stay comfortable while meeting many visitors.

提案: Give a direct yes/no and then explain briefly with a clear reason and a contrasting example. Avoid vague phrases like "probability not" and be specific about alternatives.

例: Not really. I only wear T-shirts at home because they are too casual for my nine-hour shifts. At work I prefer a blouse and trousers or a dress that looks more professional and is still comfortable.

提案: Provide a concise reason and one concrete detail about your shopping process. Avoid repetition of "confused" and use linking words like "so" or "therefore" to explain the consequence.

例: Yes, I often spend a long time choosing clothes because I find it hard to decide. For example, I usually try on several outfits and compare colours and fits before I buy, so shopping can take an hour or more.

提案: Start with a clear statement about the difference, then give specific examples of weekday and weekend outfits. Use linking words like "while" or "but" to contrast.

例: Yes. On weekdays I wear smart, practical clothes like blouses and trousers for work, while at weekends I choose casual or stylish outfits such as jeans and a nice top, or a classy dress if I go shopping or to a party.

提案: Give a clear statement about favorite colours, then add a specific example of when you choose different colours (use linking words like "however" or "for special occasions"). Avoid invented words like "attractivist."

例: I usually prefer soft, warm colours such as lime, baby pink and sky blue. However, for parties I like to wear brighter, shiny colours or sequined outfits to stand out.

× I like some form.

✓ I like certain styles.

'Some form' is an incorrect and unnatural use of pronouns/nouns here. Use 'certain styles' or 'certain types' to refer to kinds of clothes. Suggestion: use specific nouns (style, type) rather than 'form'.

× I like the clothes which are warm and very comfortably to me.

✓ I like clothes that are warm and very comfortable for me.

'Comfortably' is an adverb but needs the adjective 'comfortable' to describe 'clothes'. Also use 'that' or 'which' appropriately; 'that' is natural here. Use 'for me' instead of 'to me' when describing suitability.

× Uh, that type of the, uh, clothes I like.

✓ That's the kind of clothes I like.

Sentence is wordy and ungrammatical. Reorder to natural English: 'That's the kind of clothes I like.' Remove redundant articles and filler words.

× And I think it was, it was depend on, it will depend on the season.

✓ And I think it depends on the season.

Use simple present 'depends' for general truth. The mixed tense 'was...will depend' is incorrect. Use single correct verb form to express habitual fact.

× Uh, not, but I want to prefer just a casual clothes and comfortability, which which is most important for me because I'm a working in a hospital as a HR.

✓ No, I prefer casual clothes and comfort, which are most important to me because I work in a hospital in HR.

'Want to prefer' is wrong; use 'prefer'. 'A casual clothes' mixes article and plural; use 'casual clothes' or 'a casual outfit'. 'Comfortability' is awkward — use 'comfort'. 'I'm a working in a hospital' should be 'I work in a hospital'. 'as a HR' should be 'in HR' or 'as an HR staff member'.

× So there are so many people are visited in our hospital.

✓ So many people visit our hospital.

Redundant 'are' and passive form make sentence ungrammatical. Use active present simple 'many people visit' for habitual actions. Remove extra 'so' for clarity.

× So each and every patient have a different point of view.

✓ So each and every patient has a different point of view.

Subject 'each and every patient' is singular, so use singular verb 'has' not 'have'.

× So if I, uh, we are a comfortable warm.

✓ So I need to be comfortably and warmly dressed.

Original is incomplete and ungrammatical. Clarify the intended meaning: the speaker wants to be comfortable and warm. Use proper adjectives/adverbs and verb structure.

× No probability not because I'm only wearing T-shirt at home and I'm working as a nine hours in a hospital so it will be more comfortable in a two piece 3 piece.

✓ No, probably not, because I only wear T-shirts at home and I work nine-hour shifts in a hospital, so it is more comfortable to wear a two-piece or three-piece outfit.

'No probability not' is wrong; use 'probably not'. 'Wearing T-shirt' should be 'wear T-shirts'. 'Working as a nine hours' should be 'work nine-hour shifts'. Use 'to wear' for purpose, and hyphenate 'nine-hour'. Clarify 'two piece 3 piece' to 'two-piece or three-piece'.

× Yes, because I'm very confused about uh, selecting the clothes, uh, for me while uh, shopping.

✓ Yes, because I'm often confused about selecting clothes for myself while shopping.

Use 'often' instead of repeated fillers; 'selecting the clothes for me' should be 'selecting clothes for myself'. Maintain present continuous or simple as habitual: 'I'm often confused'.

× Also because I'm very confused person and I don't think that I will select in a first of all view.

✓ Also, I'm a very indecisive person and I don't think I will choose something at first sight.

'Confused person' is better expressed as 'indecisive person'. 'Select in a first of all view' is incorrect; intended meaning is 'choose at first sight' or 'decide immediately'.

× Yes I love styling. I in a weekends I probably to I probably wear that something casual and one piece type if I want to visit any store so I will wear some classy outfit.

✓ Yes, I love fashion. On weekends I probably wear something casual, like a one-piece, but if I go to a store I will wear a classy outfit.

'I love styling' is unnatural; use 'I love fashion' or 'I like styling my clothes'. 'I in a weekends' incorrect preposition and article; use 'On weekends'. Remove repeated 'probably to'. Use 'one-piece' and restructure conditional clause 'if I want to visit any store' to 'if I go to a store'.

× Basically I like warm colors like lime, baby pink color, sky blue color.

✓ Basically, I like warm colors such as lime, baby pink, and sky blue.

Don't repeat 'color' after each noun; use 'such as' and list colors cleanly. Note: 'sky blue' and 'baby pink' are fine as color names.

× But when I change some parties so I think that time I will like some uh, very shiny and attractivist.

✓ But when I go to parties, I prefer something very shiny and attractive at those times.

'Change some parties' is incorrect; use 'go to parties'. 'Attractivist' is not a word; use 'attractive'. Reorder to 'I prefer something very shiny and attractive' and use 'at those times' for clarity.