Headphones— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct with a clear topic sentence, reduce fillers and redundancy, and add one specific example. Use one linking phrase to connect point and example.

例: Yes, I often use headphones. They help me block out noise and focus when I study or do professional work; for example, I wear them at the library to concentrate on reading without being distracted.

提案: Start with a direct answer naming the product, avoid hesitations, and give one or two specific features with a brief reason why you like them. Use a linking word when giving the example.

例: I use Apple AirPods, which are Bluetooth wireless earphones. For example, I particularly like their noise-cancellation feature because it reduces background sounds when I study or take calls.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence about typical situations, avoid repetition and filler words, and support with two specific contexts and a linking phrase to make it coherent.

例: I use my AirPods in a variety of everyday situations. For instance, I carry them in my bag and put them on when commuting to listen to podcasts, and I also use them at home to focus while studying or working.

提案: Provide a direct topic sentence and a clear reason, then give a short specific example; remove vague phrasing at the end.

例: I avoid using headphones at family gatherings because I want to be fully present and interact with relatives. For example, I put my AirPods away during my cousin's birthday so I can join conversations and take photos.

提案: Answer directly about comfort, reduce repetition, and add a specific detail about fit or duration for clarity. Use one linking phrase to connect reason and example.

例: Yes, I find wearing headphones comfortable because they fit well and don't bother other people. For example, I can wear them for several hours while studying without feeling pain or distracting those around me.

× it keeps me separate from the noisy places and also helps me to concentrate on one task while I'm studying.

✓ it keeps me separate from noisy places and also helps me to concentrate on a single task while I'm studying.

'the noisy places' is awkward because 'noisy places' is a general plural reference; the definite article 'the' is unnecessary. 'one task' is acceptable but 'a single task' is more natural. Remove unnecessary 'the' and use a clearer quantifier.

× Or maybe I am doing any professional work.

✓ Or maybe I'm doing some professional work.

Using 'am doing any professional work' is incorrect in affirmative context. 'Any' is used in negatives or questions; replace with 'some' and contract 'I am' to 'I'm' for natural speech.

× So I have a Bluetooth uh device which is called Airpods from the company known as Apple and I it has a lot of features.

✓ So I have a Bluetooth device called AirPods from Apple, and it has a lot of features.

Pronoun sequence 'and I it' is incorrect and redundant. 'which is called' can be simplified to 'called'; 'the company known as Apple' is wordy—use 'from Apple'. Capitalize 'AirPods'. Remove extra pronoun.

× For example, noise cancellation uh, is a most uh, preferred feature.

✓ For example, noise cancellation is the most preferred feature.

'a most preferred' is ungrammatical. Use the definite article 'the' with 'most preferred' to indicate it is the top choice. Remove filler 'uh' for clarity.

× I use my Airpods since I have bought them.

✓ I have used my AirPods since I bought them.

Mixing simple present 'I use' with 'since' and 'I have bought' is inconsistent. Use present perfect 'have used' with 'since' and simple past 'bought' for the point in time when purchase occurred.

× My earphones are always with me in my bag.

✓ My earphones are always with me in my bag.

Sentence is grammatically correct; kept for completeness. 'Earphones' plural matches 'are'.

× Also, headphones are the most, umm, most prominent uh, thing for me nowadays.

✓ Also, headphones are the most prominent thing for me nowadays.

Repeating 'most' is redundant. Remove disfluencies and extra words to make the sentence concise: 'the most prominent thing'.

× When I was in a family gathering, I do not prefer to use earphones as it is my priority to attend the full family gatherings and have fun with my family that could lead.

✓ When I am at a family gathering, I do not prefer to use earphones because I prioritize attending and enjoying the gathering with my family.

Tense and preposition errors: use present tense 'When I am at a family gathering' for general habit. 'In a family gathering' should be 'at a family gathering'. 'Do not prefer to use' is acceptable but 'because I prioritize' is clearer. 'Attend the full family gatherings and have fun with my family that could lead' is ungrammatical and unclear; rephrase to show purpose.

× From my perspective, I I feel very comfortable when I wear headphones because it doesn't disturb any other person from my from my activity, whether I'm listening music or scrolling on Instagram.

✓ From my perspective, I feel very comfortable when I wear headphones because they do not disturb other people when I am listening to music or scrolling on Instagram.

Duplicate 'I I' must be fixed. 'It doesn't disturb any other person from my activity' is incorrect: use plural pronoun 'they' to refer to headphones and 'do not disturb other people'. Also use 'listening to music' and avoid repeated phrases.

× So basically it doesn't affect anyone and no one can object.

✓ So basically they don't bother anyone and no one can object.

Pronoun 'it' is incorrect for plural 'headphones'—use 'they'. 'Affect anyone' is acceptable but 'bother anyone' is more natural in this context. Ensure subject pronoun agrees in number.