Headphones— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh), correct wording (a large amount of money), and limit to up to 3–4 short sentences. Add a brief reason with a linking word (because/so) and a specific detail (type of earphones).

例: No, I don't use over-ear headphones; I only have wired earphones. Because high-quality headphones are expensive, I rely on affordable earphones for daily use, especially when I travel or study.

提案: Answer directly then give one concise supporting detail. Use correct collocations (carry with me, at cafés) and avoid repetition. Use a linking word (and) to connect ideas and include a specific reason (lightweight, portable).

例: I don't own over-ear headphones; I use small wired earphones instead. They are lightweight and more convenient to carry with me when I go to cafés or commute.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and organize supporting details with linking words (for example, and). Fix grammar (I use them every day; I surround myself with music) and be specific about situations and purpose (to relax, block noise).

例: I use them every day, mainly to listen to music while commuting. For example, when I'm on a trip or in a car, I wear earphones to relax and block out road noise.

提案: Clarify meaning and correct grammar. Start with a direct statement about situations when you would not use headphones. Use linking words (for instance, because) and give a clear reason (rules, need to hear instructions).

例: I wouldn't use headphones during exams or in class. For instance, at school I must take them off because exam regulations forbid them and I need to listen to the teacher's instructions.

提案: Answer directly then explain with specific conditions and reasons. Use correct time expressions (an hour, half an hour) and linking words (however). Include effects (ear discomfort, hearing damage) to make it specific.

例: It depends on how long I wear them. For an hour or half an hour they're comfortable, but if I wear them for several hours I start to feel ear pain and worry about possible hearing damage, so I avoid long sessions.

× I don't use headphones and also I don't have them.

✓ I don't use headphones and I don't have any.

Use 'any' with plural countable nouns in negative sentences rather than repeating 'them'. This is more natural and grammatically correct.

× I think this is because, uh, normally it costs quite a large amount of number of money to buy them, so I would rely on earphones.

✓ I think this is because, uh, normally it costs quite a large amount of money to buy them, so I rely on earphones.

Remove redundant words 'number of' and use 'a large amount of money' or better 'a lot of money'. Also 'would rely' suggests conditional; use simple present 'rely' for habitual action.

× Well, like I said, I don't own any, so instead I use my earphones and I think it is much more comfortable and convenient to carry out with me mostly when I'm at cafe.

✓ Well, like I said, I don't own any, so instead I use my earphones and I think they are much more comfortable and convenient to carry with me, especially when I'm at a cafe.

Pronoun agreement: 'earphones' is plural so use 'they are'. 'Carry out with me' is incorrect; use 'carry with me'. Add article 'a' before 'cafe'.

× Or use them every day.

✓ I use them every day.

Sentence fragment: 'Or use them every day' lacks a subject. Remove 'Or' and include subject 'I' to form a complete sentence.

× On top of that, whenever I am on a trip, when I am in a car, I always wear headphones and surrounding myself with musics that I like.

✓ On top of that, whenever I am on a trip or in a car, I always wear headphones and surround myself with music that I like.

Use 'or' instead of repeating 'when'; 'surrounding myself' is wrong form—use 'surround myself' or 'surround myself with music'. 'Musics' is uncountable; use 'music'.

× Well, headphones and I love it to be worn when students take an exams.

✓ Well, I like headphones to be worn when students take exams.

Original word order and pronoun use are incorrect. Use 'I like headphones to be worn' or better 'I like wearing headphones' depending on meaning. Also 'an exams' is wrong: 'exams' plural without article or 'an exam' singular.

× So whenever I have to take a case at my school, I have to take off headphones.

✓ So whenever I have to take an exam at my school, I have to take off my headphones.

'Take a case' is incorrect collocation; use 'take an exam'. Add possessive 'my' before 'headphones'.

× If it's only about an hours or maybe 1/2, well it's really fine and healthy to do that.

✓ If it's only about an hour or maybe half an hour, it's really fine and healthy to do that.

Use singular 'an hour' not 'an hours'. '1/2' is unclear—use 'half an hour'. Keep present tense 'it's'.

× But if it was more than that, I don't think so.

✓ But if it's more than that, I don't think so.

Maintain present conditional about duration: use present tense 'it's' rather than past 'was' to match hypothetical present situation.