Headphones— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer clear and concise: start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons. Avoid hesitations and unnecessary fragments. Use linking words (for example, “because” or “so”) to connect ideas coherently.

例: Yes, I do. I wear headphones when I commute on the train every day because they help me concentrate and block out noise while I prepare for work as an editor.

提案: Answer directly naming the type and brand, then give one clear reason. Use correct noun phrases and avoid filler words. Use linking words such as “because” to explain why.

例: I use over-ear headphones made by Apple because they are comfortable for long periods and have good sound quality.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence stating when you use them, then add specific reasons with linking words. Use natural phrases like “when I’m commuting” and “while I’m working.”

例: I use headphones when I’m commuting and while I’m working because they help me focus on my tasks and relax in noisy environments.

提案: State the conditions clearly with a topic sentence, then give a brief explanation. Use linking words like “because” and correct verb forms (e.g., “writing” instead of “write”).

例: I don’t use headphones when I’m talking with people or when I’m writing, because I need to hear others and concentrate on my typing.

提案: Answer directly and give a clear reason; avoid awkward phrasing. Use natural expressions such as “I find them comfortable” and explain why with one or two specific details.

例: Yes, I find headphones comfortable because I’m sensitive to noise and they help me block out background sounds, even in small rooms.

× Yes I do because I I don't. I take on the train every day during. Put on Head to Home and then I work as an editor working time.

✓ Yes, I do because I listen to them on the train every day. I put them on when I go home and then I work as an editor.

Multiple errors: repetition, sentence structure, pronoun use, prepositions and article omissions. Issues correspond to Sentence structure errors (26), Incorrect use of pronouns (12), Incorrect use of prepositions (11), Article errors (22). The original had 'I I don't' (repetition and unclear), 'I take on the train' (wrong verb and preposition), 'during' left hanging, 'Put on Head to Home' (incorrect word order and nouns, missing pronoun 'them'). Suggestions: remove repeated words, use 'listen to them' for headphones, use 'on the train' for transportation, use 'when I go home' for time, and use 'put them on' to refer to headphones, and make final clause 'then I work as an editor.'

× I think my headphone. Is it's the an overhead on created by apples? Because it is convenient for me and. I like equipment.

✓ I think my headphones are an over-ear model created by Apple because they are convenient for me and I like the equipment.

Errors: sentence fragments, singular/plural mismatch, article misuse, word order, and capitalization. This maps to Sentence structure errors (26), Singular and plural issue (1), Article errors (22), Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs (13). 'My headphone. Is it's the an overhead on created by apples?' should be combined and pluralized to 'headphones are', 'over-ear' is the correct adjective, 'created by Apple' uses proper noun and singular brand, and 'they are' agrees with plural subject. Use 'I like the equipment' or better 'I like their design/quality.'

× I use a headphones. In commuting time and during working because I want to concentrate my tasks and I want to be relaxed during working.

✓ I use headphones while commuting and while working because I want to concentrate on my tasks and relax.

Errors: singular/plural mismatch and preposition and wordiness. Matches Singular and plural issue (1) and Incorrect use of prepositions (11). 'A headphones' is incorrect; use 'headphones' (plural, no article) or 'a pair of headphones.' Use 'while commuting' and 'concentrate on my tasks' and omit repetitive 'during working' and 'I want to be relaxed during working' -> 'relax.'

× In my case. I don't use the headphones when I'm talking with people and I write something.

✓ I don't use headphones when I'm talking with people or when I'm writing something.

Errors: preposition and conjunction misuse and sentence fragments. Classified as Incorrect use of prepositions (11) and Incorrect conjunction use (16). Remove unnecessary article 'the' before 'headphones' when speaking generally, combine fragments into one sentence, and use parallel structure 'talking' and 'writing' with 'when' or 'while.'

× Yes, I wear headphones comfortable because I'm sensitive person so I. I mind silence around me, even little room.

✓ Yes, wearing headphones is comfortable because I'm a sensitive person and I mind silence around me, even in small spaces.

Errors: adjective/adverb misuse, article errors, sentence fragments, and preposition problems. Classified as Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs (13) and Article errors (22) and Incorrect use of prepositions (11). Use the noun form 'wearing headphones is comfortable' or 'I find headphones comfortable.' Include article 'a sensitive person.' Use 'in small spaces' instead of 'even little room.' Also remove repeated 'I.'