Headphones— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, remove repetition, and fix word choice (e.g., 'concentrate' not 'concrete'). Add one specific detail about when or what you listen to. Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I often use headphones to listen to music and concentrate because they block background noise. For example, I usually listen to soft pop or study playlists while revising in the evening, and I also wear them during online classes so I can hear the lectures clearly.

提案: Correct sentence structure and avoid repetition. Give a clear topic sentence naming the type, then add two precise reasons using linking words ('because'/'so'). Fix awkward phrase 'low last a long time'.

例: I mainly use Apple’s wireless AirPods because they are lightweight and have long battery life. In addition, the sound quality is very clear, so they are great for both music and online lectures.

提案: Make the response grammatically correct and slightly more specific. Use a clear topic sentence and link supporting reasons with words like 'also' or 'for example'. Avoid small errors ('headphone' -> 'headphones', 'so I can not disturb' -> 'so I don't disturb').

例: I usually use headphones to listen to music so I don't disturb other people at home. I also wear them for online classes or Zoom meetings because they improve audio clarity and reduce background noise.

提案: Organize into a clear topic sentence and concise supporting detail. Fix word order and small errors ('home theater old loud speakers' -> 'my home theater speakers'; 'without any bothering anyone' -> 'without bothering anyone'). Keep to 2–3 sentences and include a specific example as you did.

例: If I'm alone at home, I prefer using my home theater speakers instead of headphones because they produce richer bass and fuller sound. For example, on weekends I often play movies loudly on the sound system to enjoy the cinematic experience.

提案: Use natural phrasing and correct small errors ('cordless' -> 'wireless' is fine; 'stably like' -> 'especially like'; 'noise cancelling' -> 'noise-cancelling'). Keep it concise: topic sentence plus one supporting reason and one specific instance.

例: Yes, I find wireless headphones very comfortable because they are lightweight and have a long battery life. I especially like models with good noise-cancelling features, as they make long journeys and online meetings much more pleasant.

× Yes, I mostly use headphones when I have free time to listen to music because they help me to concrete and block background noise noise.

✓ Yes, I mostly use headphones when I have free time to listen to music because they help me to concentrate and block background noise.

The verb 'concrete' is incorrect; the intended verb is 'concentrate' (verb meaning to focus). Also 'background noise' was duplicated. Suggestion: use 'concentrate' and remove the repeated word so the sentence is clear and grammatically correct.

× I also use them for online classes since I am 12th grade commercial student and need to hear lecture clearly.

✓ I also use them for online classes since I am a 12th-grade commerce student and need to hear lectures clearly.

Missing article 'a' before the noun phrase and '12th grade' should be hyphenated when used as a compound adjective. 'Commercial student' is unnatural; 'commerce student' or 'commerce class' fits better. 'Lecture' should be plural 'lectures' or use 'the lecture' depending on context; here plural is natural. 'Clearly' is the correct adverb form.

× Mostly I use Apple's wireless headphones.

✓ Mostly, I use Apple's wireless headphones.

Add a comma after 'Mostly' for natural phrasing. The original is acceptable grammatically but benefits from clearer punctuation.

× They have good battery life and low last a long time and the sound quality is very clear.

✓ They have good battery life and last a long time, and the sound quality is very clear.

The phrase 'low last a long time' is incorrect; likely intended 'last a long time.' Remove 'low'. Also add comma to separate clauses. Keep adjective order and structure: 'have good battery life and last a long time'.

× I usually use headphone to listen to music so I can not disturb others.

✓ I usually use headphones to listen to music so I do not disturb others.

Use plural 'headphones' (common collocation) and 'do not' (or don't) instead of 'can not' which implies inability. 'Do not disturb' expresses intention not to bother others.

× I also get them when I attend online classes or join Zoom meetings because they improve audio quality and reduce background noise.

✓ I also use them when I attend online classes or join Zoom meetings because they improve audio quality and reduce background noise.

'Get them' is less precise; 'use them' fits the context of wearing/using headphones. The rest of the sentence is correct.

× When I am at home and no one else is around, I prefer using a home theater old loud speakers instead of headphones because they give me better sound and let me play music loudly without any bothering anyone.

✓ When I am at home and no one else is around, I prefer using my old home-theater loudspeakers instead of headphones because they give me better sound and let me play music loudly without bothering anyone.

Word order and articles were incorrect: 'a home theater old loud speakers' should be 'my old home-theater loudspeakers' (possessive and adjective order). 'Home-theater' is hyphenated as a compound adjective. 'Loudspeakers' is one word. Remove 'any' before 'bothering anyone' and change 'without any bothering anyone' to 'without bothering anyone' for correct idiom.

× For example, on weekends I often turn on my sound system to enjoy movies or music with richer bass and clear audio.

✓ For example, on weekends I often turn on my sound system to enjoy movies or music with richer bass and clearer audio.

Parallel adjective comparison: use 'clearer audio' to match 'richer bass.' Comparing qualities uses comparative form 'clearer.' The rest is correct.

× Yes, I find wireless headphones very comfortable.

✓ Yes, I find wireless headphones very comfortable.

Sentence is correct as is; no grammatical change needed. Included for completeness.

× They are lightweight and cordless so I don't have any problem wearing them for long journeys or when I attend meetings.

✓ They are lightweight and cordless, so I don't have any problem wearing them on long journeys or when I attend meetings.

Add a comma before 'so' for clarity. Use 'on long journeys' rather than 'for long journeys' for natural collocation.

× I stably like models with longer battery life and good noise cancelling feature because they make traveling much more pleasant.

✓ I particularly like models with longer battery life and good noise-cancelling features because they make traveling much more pleasant.

'Stably' is incorrect; use 'particularly' or 'generally.' 'Noise cancelling' should be hyphenated as 'noise-cancelling' when used as a compound adjective, and 'feature' should be plural 'features' to match 'models.' This improves word choice and agreement.