Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, correct grammar, and provide a clear topic sentence followed by one or two specific supporting details. Avoid redundancy and limit to 2–3 sentences. Use linking words (e.g., “so”, “because”, “for example”).

例: I usually choose music depending on my mood. For example, in the morning I listen to loud, motivating rap because it energizes me and helps me start the day.

提案: Give a clear direct answer, correct vocabulary and grammar, and add one specific reason or example. Replace unclear words (e.g., “Pete”) with correct terms (e.g., “beat” or “melody”). Keep it to 1–2 sentences.

例: Yes, it does. I especially enjoy songs with a strong beat because the rhythm lifts my energy and makes me feel cheerful.

提案: Answer directly and expand slightly with a reason or brief related detail to enrich the response. Use one sentence for the direct answer and one for the supporting detail, avoiding filler words like “apparently.”

例: No, I haven't taken any formal music classes. I learned to play some songs by watching online videos and practicing on my own.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and then one or two specific examples using correct grammar and smoother phrasing. Avoid slang like “wanna” and unclear phrases such as “my thing with music.” Use linking words (e.g., “for example”, “when”).

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing chores. For example, I play upbeat playlists when I clean or do laundry because the music makes these tasks more enjoyable and faster.

× I actually prepare depending on the mood that I have at the moment.

✓ I actually choose what to listen to depending on my mood at the moment.

The original sentence uses 'prepare' incorrectly; the intended meaning is selecting music, so 'choose what to listen to' is clearer. Also 'depending on the mood that I have' is wordy; 'depending on my mood' is natural. Use verbs that match the intended meaning and keep the present simple for habitual actions.

× Sometimes I like to listen to loud rap motivating songs that are actually makes my day more enjoyable, especially motivating to start a day.

✓ Sometimes I like to listen to loud, motivating rap songs that actually make my day more enjoyable, especially when I start the day.

There is a subject-verb agreement error: 'songs ... makes' should be 'songs ... make' because 'songs' is plural. Word order also needs adjustment: place adjectives before the noun ('motivating rap songs') and use 'when I start the day' for clarity.

× Yes it does, I really love it, especially if the Pete goes with it.

✓ Yes, it does. I really love it, especially if the beat goes with it.

The word 'Pete' is likely a misspelling of 'beat.' Also punctuation and sentence division improve clarity. 'Beat goes' is third person singular and 'goes' is correct for 'beat.' Ensure proper nouns and words are spelled correctly and sentences are separated.

× It just makes the mood lightly and happy.

✓ It just makes the mood light and happy.

Using 'lightly' (an adverb) to modify 'mood' (a noun) is incorrect; 'light' (an adjective) should be used. Use an adjective to describe a noun.

× No, I didn't. Apparently, no.

✓ No, I haven't. Apparently not.

When asked about taking any music classes (experience up to now), present perfect ('I haven't') is more appropriate than simple past. Also 'Apparently, no' is awkward; 'Apparently not' is natural.

× Yes, music is my sole motivator. It makes me wanna do a lot of things when I'm cleaning, when I'm doing my laundry or anything that, you know, supposed to be done.

✓ Yes, music is my main motivator. It makes me want to do a lot of things when I'm cleaning, when I'm doing my laundry, or anything that, you know, needs to be done.

Use 'want to' instead of informal 'wanna.' The clause 'anything that... supposed to be done' is missing a verb; use 'needs to be done.' Also 'sole motivator' is awkward; 'main motivator' is more natural.

× But I like my thing with music.

✓ But I like doing things with music.

The phrase 'I like my thing with music' is ungrammatical and unclear. Rephrase to 'I like doing things with music' to express that the speaker prefers to have music while doing activities.