Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your response more natural and grammatically correct by using a clear topic sentence, concise reasons, and a brief example. Avoid awkward phrasing like “make free relax.” Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, because, so, and).

例: I prefer happy music because it gives me positive energy and helps me relax. For example, I often play upbeat songs in the morning to boost my mood before work.

提案: Give a direct answer and then explain succinctly with clear vocabulary. Avoid filler words (uh, umm) and vague phrases like “living like atmosphere.” Use one or two supporting details and a short example to illustrate.

例: Yes, it does. Happy music lifts my mood and makes social gatherings more lively, so my friends and I often play upbeat playlists when we meet to create a cheerful atmosphere.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence (No, I haven't) and give a brief reason and relevant detail. Correct grammatical errors (e.g., "because my major is art" should be rephrased) and keep to two or three sentences maximum.

例: No, I haven’t taken formal music classes because my university focus is on visual arts. However, I listen to music daily, especially during my commute on public transportation.

提案: Answer directly, then give specific details about when and what you listen to. Replace unclear phrases (e.g., “Bible music”) with more precise terms if needed, and avoid fillers. Use linking words (for example, when, so) to structure the response.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while studying, especially when I'm reading subjects like medicine or science. I prefer calm piano or ambient tracks because they help me concentrate without being distracting.

× I really love happy music because it can provide more positive energy and then make free relax.

✓ I really love happy music because it can provide more positive energy and help me relax.

The original uses 'make free relax', which is ungrammatical. After verbs like 'help' or 'make', we use base verb or 'help someone relax'. 'Relax' should be used as the verb; 'free' is unnecessary. Use 'help me relax' to clearly express the effect of music.

× Yes, absolutely, because music offers a more positive feeling and creative uh, living like atmosphere with my friend or family and then we can usually listen to music umm by.

✓ Yes, absolutely, because music offers a more positive feeling and creates a lively, creative atmosphere when I'm with friends or family, and we usually listen to music together.

Problems: 'creative uh, living like atmosphere' is awkward and uses incorrect word order; 'with my friend or family' should be plural and 'when I'm with friends or family' fits context; sentence ended with 'umm by' which is incomplete. Use present simple verbs 'offers' and 'creates' consistently and restructure to be clear and grammatical.

× Not really because I'm my major is art major so I couldn't listen any music classes but I listen to music every day when I was using public transportation.

✓ Not really. My major is art, so I couldn't take music classes, but I listen to music every day when I use public transportation.

Multiple issues: 'I'm my major is art major' is redundant; use 'My major is art.' 'Couldn't listen any music classes' is wrong verb choice and object: use 'couldn't take music classes.' Tense inconsistency: 'I listen... when I was using' should be present simple 'when I use' for habitual action. Correct these to match meaning.

× Yes, sometimes be when I was studied like physical, medical or science. I usually listen to music like piano, Bible music, not noisy music. I prefer umm relaxing.

✓ Yes, sometimes when I study subjects like physical education, medicine, or science, I listen to music such as piano or soft, religious music. I prefer relaxing music, not noisy music.

Original has 'be when I was studied' which mixes forms incorrectly; use 'when I study' for habitual present. 'physical, medical or science' is unclear—use 'physical education, medicine, or science' as examples. 'Bible music' is unclear; 'religious music' or 'soft, religious music' is better. 'I prefer umm relaxing' needs a noun: 'relaxing music.' Ensure correct word order and noun forms.