Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make a clear topic sentence, correct basic grammar, and add one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid extra filler and keep it under 5 sentences.

例: I prefer happy Burmese music because it has upbeat rhythms and lively melodies. For example, many songs use traditional drums and guitars that make me want to dance. Also, the lyrics are often optimistic, so listening to them improves my mood.

提案: Start with a direct answer, then give one clear specific reason and a short example. Use linking words (because, for example) and correct verb forms.

例: Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited because energetic rhythms increase my heart rate. For example, when I attend a pop concert, I feel eager to watch the band perform and sing along with the crowd.

提案: Answer directly and use correct tense and sentence structure. Briefly mention past school experience with clear examples of what you learned. Remove fillers and unclear words.

例: No, I have never taken formal music lessons as an adult. However, in elementary school we had music classes where I learned basic instruments and simple Latin dances, which gave me an early interest in music.

提案: Give a direct answer then list two or three activities with linking words and specific detail. Remove hesitations and keep sentences concise.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other activities. For instance, I listen to upbeat playlists when I exercise, and I usually play my favorite songs while cleaning the house or washing dishes to make chores more enjoyable.

× Burmese happy music because you can enjoy while you listening are music and you can also dance and something more than fun. That's all.

✓ I prefer Burmese happy music because you can enjoy listening to it, dance to it, and have a lot of fun.

Original sentence has pronoun and structure errors: 'you listening are music' is incorrect word order and pronoun reference. Use 'listening to it' to refer to the music. Remove unnecessary 'are' and condense 'something more than fun' to 'have a lot of fun'. Also add subject 'I prefer' to answer the question clearly. Grammar problem type ID: 12

× Yes, I feel excited because when I go to something like pop music and they perform a concert, I can't wait to see it, to watch them, to perform their sounds or music.

✓ Yes, I feel excited because when I go to pop music concerts and they perform, I can't wait to see them and listen to their music.

Problems include incorrect noun phrasing and redundant infinitive forms. Use plural 'concerts' to match general meaning; use 'go to pop music concerts' and 'they perform' rather than 'perform a concert'. 'See them and listen to their music' is the natural collocation. Remove 'to perform their sounds or music' which is awkward. Grammar problem type ID: 8

× No, I never been before, uh, taken, uh, music classes, but in my I in my elementary, we have subject on, uh, music, uh, like playing instrument and also the like Latin or Dori Paso. So not recently. That's not the.

✓ No, I have never taken music classes before, but in elementary school we had music as a subject, such as playing instruments and learning songs like Latin or Dori Paso. Not recently.

Use present perfect 'have never taken' for experience up to now. 'Never been before, taken' is ungrammatical. Use 'elementary school' and past tense 'we had' because this refers to past schooling. 'Playing instruments' is plural. Clarify 'learning songs' rather than 'the like'. Remove filler words and incomplete sentence 'That's not the.' Grammar problem type ID: 5

× Umm yes, I'm while I'm taking umm exercise and also taking umm, but I'm listening my favorite music and also more than that is umm cleaning the house or and umm washing dishes or plates like that.

✓ Yes, I listen to my favorite music while I exercise, and I also listen to music when I clean the house or wash the dishes.

Use simple present 'I listen' for habitual actions. 'I'm while I'm taking exercise' is incorrect; say 'while I exercise'. Use correct verb + preposition 'listen to music'. Use parallel structure: 'when I clean the house or wash the dishes'. Remove fillers and unnecessary repetition. Grammar problem type ID: 6