Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 你的回答要更自然、句子更简洁，并且注意语法和搭配。可以直接给出观点，然后用一到两句具体原因或例子支持。避免重复（如“let me feeling relaxing”和“let me more well-being”意思重复）。注意正确使用动词形式与冠词（例如“J-pop, K-pop”）。

例: I prefer happy music, such as J-pop and K-pop. They help me relax and improve my mood, especially after a stressful day.

提案: 回答要紧扣问题并结构清晰。不要先说与问题无关的句子（如“I was so lonely.”），可以先直接回答，然后用一两个具体理由或例子支持。注意人名和乐队名的正确表达，避免重复“I really like happy music”。

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited because of its upbeat rhythm and cheerful lyrics. For example, songs by the band Hanaji often lift my spirits and make me want to move.

提案: 注意时态和语法，回答要简洁并展示具体信息。不要自贬（如“I'm so not smart”），可以客观描述学习经历和结果。把内容组织为一两句主句加一两句细节，使用恰当的动词结构（learn to play）。

例: Yes, I've taken several music classes, including guitar lessons. Although I'm still a beginner, I've learned basic chords and I practice regularly to improve.

提案: 回答要更准确并使用连词使句子连贯。避免错误词汇（如“differentially”），注意动名词与时态（"while cooking"，"when I study"）。说明具体场景及原因，句子不宜过长或重复。

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other activities, such as cooking or studying in the library. It helps me relax and concentrate better.

× I prefer happy music for example J pop and K pop when I listen them that can let me feeling relaxing and let me more well-being.

✓ I prefer happy music, for example J-pop and K-pop. When I listen to them, they make me feel relaxed and improve my sense of well-being.

原句中“when I listen them”缺少介词“to”，正确应为“listen to them”；“that can let me feeling relaxing”话语结构混乱，应使用“make me feel relaxed”或“help me feel relaxed”；“let me more well-being”表达不自然，改为“improve my sense of well-being”。建议注意及物动词的搭配（listen to）和固定表达（make someone feel + 形容词 / improve someone's sense of well-being）。

× I was so lonely. Happy music can make me feel more excited. I really like happy music. For example Japan Joke and my favorite band is Hanaji.

✓ I was so lonely. Happy music could make me feel more excited. I really like happy music. For example, Japan Joke, and my favorite band is Hanaji.

上下文第一句为过去时“was”，后句应保持时态一致描述过去的效果，因此“can”改为过去式“could”。此外，列举时需要用逗号隔开“for example, Japan Joke”。建议注意叙述同一经历时保持时态一致。

× Oh yeah, I take many music classes, for example, I even to learn how to playing guitar and, uh, staying class, but uh, I'm so, uh, not smart, so I uh, don't know how to play it.

✓ Oh yeah, I take many music classes. For example, I even learned how to play the guitar and took ensemble classes, but I'm not very good, so I still don't know how to play well.

原句中混合时态和错误动词形式："I even to learn" 不应有不定式to，正确为"learned"或"learn"；"playing guitar" 在此处需不定式或原形作宾语，改为"play the guitar"；"staying class" 表达不清，猜测为“ensemble/class”，改为"took ensemble classes"。另外保持时态一致（如果谈过去经历用过去时learned/took，若为现在仍在上则用现在时）。建议使用正确动词形式和清晰的课程名称，避免口语填充词。

× The differentially, I often listen to music while doing all the things, for example how dinner or when I studying in library because singing music can let me play relaxed and let me feel.

✓ Different from others, I often listen to music while doing various things, for example while having dinner or when I'm studying in the library, because music helps me relax and feel better.

原句开头"The differentially" 用词错误，应为"Different from others"或"Unlike others"；"while doing all the things" 不自然，改为"while doing various things"；"for example how dinner" 错误，应为"for example while having dinner"；"when I studying" 需加助动词并使用现在分词，改为"when I'm studying"；"singing music can let me play relaxed and let me feel" 语序和措辞错误，改为"music helps me relax and feel better"。建议注意固定搭配（different from/while doing/while having dinner）和主谓结构完整。},{